Wonders In Letterland Episode 2: Debbie In The Land Of B

Debbie and the Gardner arrive in the Land of B where a guard by the name of Balthazar is blocking the way for T-Bag but he will let Debbie pass if she can guess his name.
The High-T Website synopsis

My little T-Shirt

T-Bag: (She laughs) That should take care of that. Come and look at this T-Shirt. What did she think? I'd just let her stroll around picking up those infernal letters, did she?
T-Shirt: No chance.
T-Bag: No indeed, my little T-Shirt, no indeed.

Added: 04/04/2017

Where's that tea?

T-Bag: T-Shirt where's that tea?
T-Shirt: Coming up… Tea's up.
T-Bag: 'bout time too.
T-Shirt: Just the way you like it.
T-Bag: Not too weak.
T-Shirt: Not too strong.
T-Bag and T-Shirt: Don’t leave it in the pot too long.

Happy Birthday to you

Balthazzar: Ah stop that. (Debbie and the Gardener blow their party horns). Be off with you.
Debbie: Oh surely not. On today of all days.
Balthazzar: What do you mean by that?
Gardener: Well surely you know what day it is.
Balthazzar: No.
Debbie & The Gardener: It's your birthday.
Gardener: Many happy returns.
Balthazzar: I didn't know it was my birthday.
Debbie: That's because it's a surprise birthday.
Balthazzar: Arh, don't you're making me blush.
Gardener: And we have brought you a birthday cake.
Balthazzar: Oh you shouldn't have really.
Debbie: With blue icing.
Gardener: The best.
Balthazzar: Oh I shall be bursting into tears in a minute.
Debbie: Oh blow out the candles then.
Balthazzar: May I?
Gardener: Hmm-mm.
Balthazzar: Oh but there are only four candles.
Debbie: Well that's one for every hundred years.
Balthazzar: Oh good.
(He blows out the candles).
Debbie: Now we can sing happy birthday. A two, a three.
Debbie & The Gardener: Happy Birthday...
Balthazzar: Wait a minute.
Debbie: Yes?
Balthazzar: First we must play a game.
Debbie: What?
Balthazzar: If this is a real birthday party, we should play a game.
Debbie: You're right.
Gardener: We haven't got time for games.
Debbie: If we play with him it will put him into a good mood.
Balthazzar: Oh. Come on let's play.
Debbie: Let's play I spy. I spy with my little eye. Something beginning with B.
Balthazzar: B?
Gardener: B?
Debbie: Of course you see. If you can read there're all kinds of games you could play.
Gardener: Arh.
Debbie: All letters have different sounds. B makes the sound of bur. So if I spy with my little eye something beginning with bur. You have to find it. It could be button. Or braces.
Balthazzar: Well that's easy, it's button or braces.
Debbie: No silly. It's something different but it starts with a B.
Balthazzar: Something different that starts with a B. Er, er, balloon.
Debbie: No.
Balthazzar: No, not balloon. Er, well don't tell me, er, uh--oh-oh, Birthday cake.
Debbie: No.
Balthazzar: No, not Birthday... well not balloon, not... Butterfly.
Debbie: (She laughs) No.
Balthazzar: No, oh this is a good game but it's very hard isn't it.
Debbie: No it isn't. You haven't got... Blade.
Balthazzar: Blade?
Debbie: Or baggy bloomers yet.
Balthazzar: Or baggy bloomers. Well now you've told us all the things starting with B the game's finished.
Debbie: No it isn't.
Balthazzar: No?
Debbie: There's still one more thing I haven't told you.
Balthazzar: Oh.
Debbie: And you have to guess that one more thing.
Balthazzar: One more thing I have got to guess. I, I, can't see anything. Give us a clue.
Debbie: Well you're standing very near to this B.
Balthazzar: Standing near to this B.
Debbie: In fact.
Balthazzar: Yeah.
Debbie: You're standing in this B.
Balthazzar: In? Ah, boots!
(Balthazzar and the Gardener laugh).
Debbie: Now we can sing Happy Birthday.
Gardener: A two, a three.
Debbie & The Gardener: Happy Birthday to you.
Balthazzar: Happy Birthday to me.
Debbie & The Gardener: Happy Birthday to you.
Balthazzar: Happy Birthday to me.
Debbie & The Gardener: Happy Birthday dear...
Balthazzar: Happy Birthday dear... Balthazzar.
Debbie & The Gardener: Happy Birthday to you.
Balthazzar: Happy Birthday to me.
(They laugh).
Debbie: Happy Birthday Balthazzar.
Balthazzar: Thanks.
Debbie: Can we get past now please?
Balthazzar: Yes of course you can, no wait a minute. You haven't guessed my name yet.
Debbie: I just did. It's Balthazzar.
Balthazzar: Blooming heck, who told you that?
Gardener: A little bird.
Balthazzar: A little bird?
Debbie: Wearing braces.
Balthazzar: Wearing braces? Ohhhh, then it isn't my blinking birthday at all. No, you bluffed and I took the bait. You tricked me. That's quite spoiled my whole day that has (he cries).
Debbie: Well I am, well we're very sorry but it was all in fun.

Added: 04/04/2025

Flute grass

Balthazzar: Fun, huh, huh, huh. Fun, ha, ha, ha! What do I know about fun? Standing here all day in these daft clothes. I mean it's alright now, it's fine. But when she starts playing about with the weather. Rain. Wind. Snow (he cries). Wearing these awful clothes (he cries). It isn't funny is it? And it's boring, boring!
Debbie: We're very sorry and we would love to cheer you up but it is very important that we find this golden B.
Balthazzar: No!
Debbie: We guessed your name.
Balthazzar: No! Not unless... unless... Unless you entertain me first.
Gardener: Entertain you?
Balthazzar: Yes, sure you know. Sing, recite a poem, dance. Gee, that's a great idea. Dance for me, I just adore dancing.
Gardener: Go on, dance for him.
Debbie: I can't dance.
Gardener: You can't, of course you can.
Debbie: No I can't.
Gardener: You can't?
Debbie: No.
Gardener: Oh wonderful.
Debbie: Wouldn't a nice poem do?
Balthazzar: Nice poem do? No! Dance for me or back you go.
Debbie: What are we going to do?
Gardener: Well you're not much good at reading or spelling and now you can't dance and we haven't got one letter yet. Oh silly me.
Debbie: What's the matter?
Gardener: Look.
Debbie: What's that?
Gardener: Flute grass.
Debbie: Flute grass?
Gardener: Just you watch. Balthazzar your birthday cake. Ah, Balthazzar might I borrow your blade? Thank you, uh.
(The Gardener plays the flute and Debbie begins to dance).
Balthazzar: Bravo, bravo, bravo. I thought you said you couldn't dance.
Debbie: I've never danced like that before in my life, my feet were on air.
Balthazzar: Dance some more.
(The Gardener plays the flute and Debbie continues to dance).
Balthazzar: Wonderful, wonderful, (he claps) again, again.

Added: 04/04/2015