Wonders In Letterland Episode 7: Debbie In The Land Of V

Debbie and T-Shirt run to the Land of V, there Debbie meets Vic the Vampire and the wise old Vulture but T-Shirt stays outside the cave where he finds the golden letter V on an arrow but when he drops it in a patch of sleeping violets he goes to sleep whilst trying to find it so T-Bag disguises herself as T-Shirt to get Debbie’s golden letters.
The High-T Website synopsis

The golden V

T-Shirt: Are they coming? Are they after us?
Debbie: I don't think so. It's very odd, why do you think T-Bag isn't following us here?
T-Shirt: I don't know. Just a minute.
(Howls).
T-Shirt: Ooh I don't like it here, it's very scary. Couldn't we go back Debs?
Debbie: Come on T-Shirt, you've been very brave and I'm proud of you (kisses him).
T-Shirt: Oh get off.
Debbie: Come on, we've got to try and find the golden V. Want to help me?
T-Shirt: I would if I knew what it looked like.
Debbie: Oh look, that's a V there. That's it.
T-Shirt: That's not hard, I think I could soon get the hang of this reading lark.
Debbie: Let's start looking.
(Howls).
T-Shirt: What's that?
Debbie: I don't know. Look, let's see if it's in this cave.
T-Shirt: I don't want to go in there, it's dark and creepy.
Debbie: Alright, I'll go myself. You look over there.
T-Shirt: What? On my own?
Debbie: You'll be alright. We'll meet back here in five minutes, ok?
T-Shirt: I suppose so. Debbie.
Debbie: What?
T-Shirt: Be careful.
Debbie: I will.
(Howls).

Added: 04/04/2018

The vegetarian vulture

Debbie: Hello. Hello there. Wise old Vulture. Wise old Vulture.
The Wise old Vulture: Oh hello little girl.
Debbie: Oh excuse me, I'm looking for the Wise old Vulture, have you seen him?
The Wise old Vulture: No, eh, oh that's me, hu-huh. I'm the Wise old Vulture, hmm.
Debbie: You are?
The Wise old Vulture: Yep I certainly am, hmm.
Debbie: Vic Vampire sent me, he said you might be able to help me out.
The Wise old Vulture: Oh, help you out now, erm, yes I can do that, now let me see, er, er, you turn round and you walk back the way you came in, then you'll be out. Hooh-ooh, has that helped you?
Debbie: No it hasn't, I didn't mean that at all. I'm looking for letters.
The Wise old Vulture: Lettuce? Why didn't you say so in the first place? Oh you've come to the right person.
Debbie: Have I? Great.
The Wise old Vulture: Yes you certainly have, I know everything there is to know about lettuce and cauliflower and cabbages, yes.
Debbie: Oh no, no, I mean.
The Wise old Vulture: No, no, no, I'm the vegetarian vulture you see, hmm, I eat nothing but vegetables, dum, very good for the brain they are, hmm.
Debbie: Oh but.
The Wise old Vulture: Aubergines? Oh they're my favourite.
Debbie: Cor.
The Wise old Vulture: Courgettes, even better.

Added: 04/04/2015

Fangs for reminding me

T-Bag: Oh this is ridiculous, what am I doing here? Horrible damp dingy place. Who in the right minds would live here?
Vic the Vampire: Hello there.
T-Bag: Arrghhhh!
Vic the Vampire: Oh wonderful. Another visitor, welcome, welcome, welcome.
T-Bag: Who in blazers are you?
Vic the Vampire: Vic Vampire, pleased to make your acquaintance.
T-Bag: Vampire?
Vic the Vampire: Quite right.
T-Bag: You're not a vampire.
Vic the Vampire: Oh yes I am.
T-Bag: Where are your fangs?
Vic the Vampire: Oh fangs for reminding me, now, where did I put them? In a glass somewhere.
T-Bag: Vampires are meant to be scary, you're not scary.
Vic the Vampire: I am scary. Boo! Well.
T-Bag: (She seethes) And to think for years I was afraid of venturing into this place.
Vic the Vampire: Well now that you are here make yourself at home and we will have a chinwag.
T-Bag: I haven't got time to hang around with an old gas bag like you. Has a small boy this size come this way?
Vic the Vampire: A small boy? No.
T-Bag: Oh you mean I've come all this way for nothing?
Vic the Vampire: Oh please don't go, we have not got to know one another yet.
T-Bag: I don't want to get to know you.
Vic the Vampire: Oh please stay, I get so few visitors.
T-Bag: No wonder.
Vic the Vampire: Well stay a while won't you?
T-Bag: You're in my way.
Vic the Vampire: Oh you wouldn't walk out on me would you?
T-Bag: Clear off!
Vic the Vampire: But, but, I...
T-Bag: Vanish (T-Bag uses her magic and Vic disappears).
Vic the Vampire (voice): What a woman.

Added: 04/04/2022

Sleeping violets

T-Bag: T-Shirt, answer me, where are you? (T-Bag finds him asleep on the ground) Well what have we here? If it isn't Mr Sleeping Beauty himself. Come on T-Shirt wake up. Wakey wakey.
Debbie: T-Shirt, T-Shirt, yuhoo. (Debbie comes out of the cave by the time T-Bag has hidden herself out of sight). T-Shirt, T-Shirt, where are you? Oh dear. T-Shirt.
Vic the Vampire: What's all the noise?
T-Shirt: I was supposed to meet T-Shirt, my friend, here. Well there's no sign of him and I'm worried about him.
Vic the Vampire: Don't worry.
T-Bag: So she wants T-Shirt does she? That gives me a very good idea. T-Shirt she shall have.
(T-Bag, disguised as T-Shirt, appears by magic).
T-Bag (as T-Shirt): Hello Debbie, hmm-hum, Hello Debbie, here I am.
Debbie: T-Shirt, oh T-Shirt where have you been? I was afraid something had happened to you.
T-Bag (as T-Shirt): Nothing happened to me, I'm fine.
Debbie: Any sign of the golden letter?
T-Bag (as T-Shirt): Golden letter, actually no. Have you still got the others?
Debbie: Course I have.
T-Bag (as T-Shirt): Show me them.
Debbie: Oh for goodness sake.
T-Bag (as T-Shirt): Please.
Debbie: Oh alright. (As she takes them out her bag he tries to snatch them). What are you doing T-Shirt?
T-Bag (as T-Shirt): Let me look closer, let me have them in my hand.
Debbie: No, what for?
T-Bag (as T-Shirt): Give me them.
Debbie: I don't know what's the matter with you today T-Shirt but I'm putting these away where they're safe.
T-Bag (as T-Shirt): Curse you child.
(T-Bag disappears).
Vic the Vampire: What was all that about?
Debbie: I have no idea. My friend's acting really strangely.
Vic the Vampire: Oh perhaps he is not well, maybe we should follow him.
Debbie: You're right, T-Shirt.
(They find the real T-Shirt fast asleep on the ground).
Vic the Vampire: Why there he is.
Debbie: Oh what happened? Did he fall? Is he alright?
Vic the Vampire: Come on my friend, wake up, wake up, hello.
Debbie: Oh what's the matter with him?
Vic the Vampire: Oh I think I see what has happened.
Debbie: What?
Vic the Vampire: He has sniffed one of these.
Debbie: What are they?
Vic the Vampire: Violets, sleeping violets to be precise.
Debbie: Sleeping violets?
Vic the Vampire: Yes, one whiff, one sniff and you will fall asleep for one hundred years.
Debbie: Oh no.
Vic the Vampire: Careful you might sniff them as well.
Debbie: Isn't there a way of waking him up? There must be.
Vic the Vampire: Just a moment, let me think, yes there is a way, what does the ancient rhyme say? A spell is cast when a whiff is taken which only a kiss will reawaken.
Debbie: A kiss?
Vic the Vampire: Yes, before your friend can wake up you must first of all give him a kiss.
Debbie: Errrghh, do I have to?
Vic the Vampire: I'm afraid so, otherwise (he snores) for one hundred years.
Debbie: I suppose I'd better then.
(Debbie leans over and kissed him, T-Shirt then wakes up).
T-Shirt: Ah get off, what are you playing at?
Debbie: T-Shirt you're alright.
Vic the Vampire: It worked.
T-Shirt: Who's he?
Debbie: This is Vic.
Vic the Vampire: How do you do?
Debbie: Why did you try and grab my satchel?
T-Shirt: Huh?
Vic the Vampire: Some way for a friend to behave.
T-Shirt: What?
Debbie: You were really horrid.
T-Shirt: Huh?
Debbie: And then going off like that?
T-Shirt: I don't know what you're talking about.
Debbie: Yes you do.
T-Shirt: But I've been here all the time.
Debbie: I don't know what's the matter with you today T-Shirt but you aren't being yourself at all.
(T-Bag is back still disguised as T-Shirt).
T-Bag (as T-Shirt): We all know why that is don't we? Because he isn't the real T-Shirt, I am.
Debbie: Oh no.
Vic the Vampire: Twins.
Debbie: They're not twins. One of them must be the old T-Bag in disguise.
Vic the Vampire: Oh.
T-Bag (as T-Shirt): I'm the real T-Shirt, I am, I am.
T-Shirt: No you're not, I am, I am.
Debbie: Now we're in a pickle, who is who? Which one is T-Shirt?
T-Shirt: I am.
T-Bag (as T-Shirt): I am.
Debbie: Alright, prove that you're T-Shirt, what do you think of the old T-Bag?
T-Bag (as T-Shirt): The old T-Bag?
Debbie: That's right.
T-Bag (as T-Shirt): Alright, she's... she's horrible.
Debbie: Horrible?
T-Bag (as T-Shirt): Yes horrible, horrible.
Debbie: That's more like it, now you, you prove that you're T-Shirt, what do you think of the T-Bag?
T-Shirt: I think she's horrible too.
Debbie: I don't know who to believe, they look exactly alike.
T-Shirt: I've got it.
Debbie: What?
T-Shirt: This.
Debbie: The golden V. Oh now I know you're T-Shirt. T-Bag would never give me one of these letters.
(T-Bag transforms herself back to normal).
T-Bag: Kwuorhh. Well I nearly got you that time didn't I but next time. And you, you little traitor, so I'm horrible am I? Get back to the T-Square where you belong.
T-Shirt: No, I want to stay with Debbie.
T-Bag: This instant, I'll deal with you later.
(T-Bag uses her magic and T-Shirt disappears).
T-Shirt (echoes): Debbie, Debbie, Debbie.
T-Bag: And you little Madam, give that satchel to me.
Vic the Vampire: Just one moment.
T-Bag: What?
Vic the Vampire: I have a little gift for a lovely lady.
T-Bag: What lovely lady?
Vic the Vampire: Why yourself of course.
T-Bag: Oh yes of course.
Vic the Vampire: Flowers. Violets for a pretty petal like yourself.
T-Bag: Yes they are almost as enchanting as I am aren't they?
Vic the Vampire: And they smell divine, here. (T-Bag takes a whiff).
T-Bag: Ah. (Yawns) Curse you. Ooh what's happening to me? (Yawns) Must get back to the T-Square before I... (yawns).
(T-Bag uses her magic and disappears).
Debbie: She's gone, she'll sleep for one hundred years.
Vic the Vampire: That is right.
Debbie: It's the end of the T-Bag. Hooray, oh, look, it's the end of the T-Bag.

Added: 04/04/2015