Wonders In Letterland Episode 1: Arrival In Letterland

Debbie stumbles upon a curiosity shop on her way home from school. Inside she finds a board game called 'Wonders In Letterland', she finds a Gardner in the board game who tells her about an evil witch called T-Bag who is making their lives a misery. Debbie thinks small and appears in the board game and decides to help the Gardner by collecting up the missing golden letters from the chest in the first square of the board game and her quest begins!
The High-T Website synopsis

Start of a new 10-part series which aims to introduce letters and words to children in an entertaining way. On her way home from school, Debbie enters a mysterious shop and is suddenly transported to Letterland.
TV Times listing

The old T-Bag

Debbie: Hello. Anybody here?
(A board game called Wonders In Letterland begins to move across the table and falls with a thud onto the floor, Debbie walks over, picks it up an opens the game).
Shopkeeper: Arh, I see you've found it.
Debbie: Oh, I'm terribly sorry, I couldn't see anybody, so I just...
Shopkeeper: It's quite alright, it's nice isn't it?
Debbie: Yes.
Shopkeeper: Hmm, I can understand you being taken with it. Do you know it's the most valuable piece in the whole shop?
Debbie: Is it?
Shopkeeper: Hm-hmm.
Debbie: It's a game isn't it?
Shopkeeper: Yes of course, how clever of you, yes it is.
Debbie: How do you play it?
Shopkeeper: Well, that's the pity you see, the rules have been lost I'm afraid.
Debbie: Ohhhh.
Shopkeeper: But I'm sure you could work it out. Just a moment now, I'll clear a space for you, there we are.
Debbie: Oh no, look I haven't time, I've got to go.
Shopkeeper: Hmm.
Debbie: I've got loads of homework to do.
Shopkeeper: Oh dear.
Debbie: Yes, I'm in enough trouble as it is.
Shopkeeper: Huh-uh, that's a pity.
Debbie: I don't want to fall further behind.
Shopkeeper: Hmm.
Debbie: Yes, it is interesting isn't it? But I really have to go home now.
(Debbie closes the board game).
Gardener: Ouch!
Debbie: What was... hello?
(The shopkeeper has gone. Debbie opens the game up and the Gardener begins to talk to her).
Gardener: I say. I say. Oh dear, oh me, oh my, oh my. I say, you up there.
Debbie: Hmm-mm, me?
Gardener: Do you mind terribly not slamming things down like that. It's like a flipping earthquake down here. Oh that is, I mean, if it's no trouble, I...
Debbie: Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Wow! What are you doing down there?
Gardener: I, I live here.
Debbie: You live in a game?
Gardener: Yes of course.
Debbie: Well it's very beautiful.
Gardener: Yes, well most of the time it is, yes. Oh dear, oh me, oh my, oh my. That is when she's not around.
Debbie: She? Who's she?
Gardener: She? Well everybody knows who, who she is.
Debbie: I don't.
Gardener: She, well, she's the old T-Bag. (The board game suddenly fills with lightning and thunder). Oh there she goes again. Oh dear, oh me, oh my, oh my.
Debbie: What was that?
Gardener: That was her.
Debbie: What do you mean? Who is this person?
Gardener: The old T-Bag.
Debbie: T-Bag!
Gardener: Sh, sh, sh, sh, sh. Yes we, we call her that because all she ever thinks about is, is drinking tea. That is when she isn't making our lives a misery.
Debbie: Oh dear, I'm so sorry.
Gardener: And this used to be such a wonderful happy place. Such a wonderful happy... (he cries).
Debbie: Oh don't be miserable.
Gardener: What else can I do but be miserable? Nobody will ever help me, ever, ever.
Debbie: Oh I'm sure they will.
Gardener: Who? When? When? Who?
Debbie: Well, is there something I can do?
Gardener: What a wonderful idea.
Debbie: Oh but how can I help? I mean, you're down there and I'm up here.
Gardener: That is a trifling detail. Utterly trifling, oh marvellous, help is on the way (he squeals in delight). Couldn't be simpler, all you've got to do is think small.
Debbie: Think small?
Gardener: That is all, think small.

Added: 04/04/2015

A very good question

Gardener: Well done, simply marvellous. You have arrived.
Debbie: Ohhhh.
Gardener: Have a good spin?
Debbie: My head.
Gardener: Travel sick, now do as I do. Whenever I'm travel sick I always breath in through my nose and out through my mouth three times. A one, a two, a three, watch this. (He inhales deeply) Arhhhhh. (He inhales again) Arhhhhh. (He inhales again) Arhhhhh. Better?
Debbie: Yes, much. Thanks.
Gardener: I feel terrible.
Debbie: Haven't I seen you somewhere before?
Gardener: Have you ever been in this game before?
Debbie: No.
Gardener: Then we could never have met before, could we?
Debbie: Suppose not. It's fantastic. What an amazing place.
Gardener: Don't say things like that, she might hear you and...
Debbie: The old T-Bag.
Gardener: Don't say that.
Debbie: All I said is...
Gardener: Sh sh sh sh sh sh sh sh. You don't know when her big flapping ears are listening. And you don't know when her big beady bloodshot eyes are watching. And you don't know when she'll poke her long interfering nose round the corner.
Debbie: What do you know?
Gardener: What do I know? That's a very good question. What do I know? Let me think what, I tell you. I'll tell you exactly what I know.
Debbie: Oh dear. (The Gardener continues to talk but his voice has been silenced). What are you doing? I can't hear you. (The Gardener tries to tell Debbie using gestures) Right. You. Erm. Sky? The clouds? Her, the old T-Bag. Erm. She something. Your tummy? Neck? You've got a tooth ache?
(The Gardener beckons Debbie closer, she moves next to him and his voice comes back).
Gardener: ...making our lives a misery. Oh dear, oh me, oh my, oh my. This is too much, it is too, too much (he cries).
Debbie: She is wicked.
Gardener: Mmm.
Debbie: What does she look like, this old... (she whispers) T-Bag.
Gardener: That is a very good question. What does she look like, because she can look like anything and anyone she likes, anyone. I mean she could even look like you.
Debbie: Like me?
Gardener: Just a minute, are you sure that you're you?
Debbie: Of course I am.
Gardener: Course you could be her.
Debbie: Course not.
Gardener: Alright, I believe you, but you see it can be terribly confusing.
Debbie: Yes.

Added: 04/04/2025

In Disguise

Debbie: OK clever clogs but I bet you don't know what it is?
T-Bag (Gardener Disguise): How dare you? You impertinent child of course I know what it means, A, N, D spells and, it couldn't be simpler.
Debbie: So that makes you, you.
Gardener: But that's what I've been telling you all along.
Debbie: Because the real him can't read and you just read.
T-Bag: Ohhhhh. Drat you you interfering brat I'm telling you sweet child not to meddle in things that don't concern you this is a happy place.
Debbie: He doesn't look very happy.
T-Bag: Of course he's happy!

All got to do with opening the chest

Debbie: Well I think there's something very fishy about all this. And it's all got to do with opening the chest.
T-Bag: There's nothing in there that could interest you. Keep away from it, you have been warned.
(T-Bag disappears).
Debbie: Are you alright?
Gardener: Er, yes, thank you. I think so. Am I? Oh I say, that was good the way you stood up to her just now.
Debbie: Thanks.
Gardener: Do you know if she hadn't popped off just now I would have punched her right on her ugly nose. One, two. Aah, oh, oh don't do that.

Added: 04/04/2016

The mysteries of the chest

Debbie: Come on, let's take another look at those letters.
Gardener: But she said.
Debbie: I know what she said. She may be a clever old witch but we're going to beat her at this game.
Gardener: You mean you're going to stay and help us.
Debbie: Of course.
Gardener: Oh marvellous, marvellous.
Debbie: Come on.
Gardener: Heh.
Debbie: Now I'm sure the secret must be in the chest.
Gardener: Mmm.
Debbie: And this writing will tell us how to open it.
Gardener: Good.
Debbie: Not so good.
Gardener: Oh.
Debbie: You've got to find the missing letters of course.
Gardener: Exactly.
Debbie: And once we've found them we'll unlock the mysteries of the chest.
Gardener: And everybody will be happy again, oh I feel so much better. I am so happy, so happy. Wuh-a-hee, oh-doh-dee-doh-dee-doh.
Debbie: Let's start right away. They could be absolutely anywhere those letters.
Gardener: Yes, wh-where shall we start?
Debbie: This is a game isn't it?
Gardener: Yes it is.
Debbie: We'll do what you usually do in a game. Start at the beginning and make our way to the end.
Gardener: Absolutely, that's just what I was going to say.
Debbie: Now where's the beginning?
Gardener: Ah, very good question. Where is the beginning? I know it's over here somewhere. But I'm not quite sure in which erm direction, if it's that way or, or that, erm that, hmm.
Debbie: Could it be that way?
Gardener: Oh there it is. Stick with me and you won't go far wrong, hee. Do you know? I don't even know your name.
Debbie: Oh no. It's Debbie.
Gardener: Debbie, how do you do? Hee hee hee. Erm now Debbie, this is not going to be an easy game but I don't want you to be nervous. Look at me, I'm not at all nervous, what, huh-huh-uh. Stick with me and we'll be alright. Now off we go.

Added: 04/04/2015