T-Bag Bounces Back Episode 8: Max The Miller

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UK Air DateFri 13/03/1987, 4.20pm
Repeat ScreeningThurs 24/08/1989, 4.25pm
Copyright YearMCMLXXXVI (1986)
VTR Date26/09/1986
Fremantle Archive Ref35292 (series ref)
Consecutive Episode Number28
IMDB LinkEpisode page

T. Bag (Tallulah Bag)Elizabeth Estensen
T. ShirtJohn Hasler
DebbieJennie Stallwood
Winnie De MilleJo Warne
Max The MillarRobert Oates

Make UpAnn Briggs
Costume DesignerRaymond Childe
Graphic DesignerAlex Forbes
Stage ManagerBobby Webber
Production AssistantJoanna Stewart
Written ByLee Pressman
Grant Cathro
DesignerJohn Plant
ProducersCharles Warren
Leon Thau
DirectorLeon Thau

The search for the next gold bell takes Debbie to Holland. Max the Miller sells some flour to Winnie De Mille, a cake maker, for her gold bell. It is T-Bag’s birthday so T-Shirt gets her some tulips and a birthday cake from Winnie De Mille. T-Shirt also tries to get the gold bell from Max the Miller before Debbie does.
The High-T Website synopsis
T-Bag goes to Holland where Debbie meets jolly baker Winnie de Mille and miserable miller Max. It's T-Bag's birthday and T-Shirt goes on a quest for flowers and a cake with bells on. All is resolved when the cake explodes. Debbie gets her bell, Winnie her money, and Max gets his jut desserts.
TV Times listing

If you would like to contribute your favourite/funniest etc quotes from this episode please contact me.

A day like today

T-Bag: T-Shirt. What are you doing?
T-Shirt: Trying to find the free toy.
T-Bag: Get your grubby little fingers out of there, give that to me.
T-Shirt: But I want my toy.
T-Bag: Toys, toys, toys, I'm sick of you and your toys. It's breakfast time, concentrate on eating your breakfast please. Pass me the bowl.
(T-Shirt blinks and as T-Bag begins to pour the cornflakes out of the box lots of plastic toys fall out).
T-Bag: What the.
T-Shirt: Great that's more like it There you are, that's for you.
T-Bag: What's this?
T-Shirt: Your free cornflake.
T-Bag: Do you do this deliberately to torture me or what? Are you trying to make my whole life a misery? Do I have to endure this suffering every single day. Do I? Especially on a day like today? It's bad enough on an ordinary day but today, a day like today.
T-Shirt: What do you mean, a day like today?
T-Bag: Oh nothing.
T-Shirt: What's special about today.
T-Bag: Nothing, nothing, forget I spoke.
T-Shirt: Oh, alright.
T-Bag: You do know what day it is today, don't you?
T-Shirt: Err, Thursday.
T-Bag: Humph! Any mail this morning?
T-Shirt: Oh yeah (he reaches over for the pile of letters).
T-Bag: Anything for me? Anything for me?
T-Shirt: This one's for Major Happy.
T-Bag: Oh that old fool.
T-Shirt: Major Happy, Major Happy, oh I can't quite read that one, what does that say?
T-Bag: Major Happy.
T-Shirt: Unhh, Major Happy, Major Happy.
T-Bag: Don't tell me they're all for him.
T-Shirt: Oh no, this one's not for Major Happy.
T-Bag: Really?
T-Shirt: No it's for me, it's a postcard from Mrs Merry, she says she's having a great time.
T-Bag: I don't give a tuppenny fig about mouldy Mrs Merry. No cards, no letters, no nothing, it's a downright disgrace.
T-Shirt: What's up with you, did you get out the wrong side of bed or something?
T-Bag: It's not fair, nobody cares about me.
T-Shirt: I do, a bit.
T-Bag: Thank you for nothing. If you really cared you would have remembered.
T-Shirt: Remembered what?
T-Bag: What day it is today.
T-Shirt: Of course, I remember.
T-Bag: At last.
T-Shirt: How silly of me, today's the day the bins get emptied. Don't worry Your Majesty I'll put it out after breakfast.
T-Bag: It's my birthday you ignoramus.
T-Shirt: Is it? When's my birthday?
T-Bag: You might at least wish me many happy returns.
T-Shirt: Many happy returns.
T-Bag: Thank you. What a rotten birthday this is, no presents, no cards, nobody to sing Happy Birthday to you.
T-Shirt: To me?
T-Bag: To me, to me, it's my birthday, and I must say I expected a little bit more from you than one measly cornflake. I'm going to get dressed.

Added: 10/08/2012

Happy Birthday Dear Tallulah

T-Bag: Right there’s work to be... what?
T-Shirt: Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear...
T-Bag: What’s the matter? Why have you stopped?
T-Shirt: Well I can’t sing Happy Birthday dear T-Bag can I cause you don’t like it?
T-Bag: Well sing Happy Birthday Your Majesty.
T-Shirt: That’s not very friendly is it? What is your fist name? What does the T stand for?
T-Bag: None of your business.
T-Shirt: Oh go on tell me, I’d like to know.
T-Bag: You only want to know so you can have a good laugh.
T-Shirt: No I only want to know so I can sing the rest of the song, then you can have your present!
T-Bag: Present eh? Well in that case it’s Tal... (Mumbles)
T-Shirt: What was that?
T-Bag: I said it was T... (Mumbles again)
T-Shirt: I can’t make it out.
T-Bag: Tallulah!
T-Shirt: Oh don’t mess me about, what is it really?
T-Bag: Tallulah, Tallulah!
T-Shirt: Tallulah, ha ha ha ha ha. Tallulah Bag. Nice name that.
T-Bag: Well get on with it.
T-Shirt: Happy Birthday Dear Tallulah, Happy Birthday to you.
T-Bag: Right, present, present.
T-Shirt: Many Happy Returns of the day Tallulah
T-Bag: Thank you T-shirt, better late than never.
T-Shirt: Hope you like it.
(T-Bag opens up the present and picks out a football)
T-Shirt: Good eh? (T-Shirt Headers the ball)
T-Bag: You stupid boy! It’s my birthday not yours, you’re supposed to give me something that I like.
T-Shirt: You don’t like anything.
T-Bag: I’d like the next gold bell; more than anything I’d like the next gold bell.
T-Shirt: All right I’ll get you that for you.
T-Bag: Alright. No, I’m not having you messing things up anymore, leave that to me.
T-Shirt: Well, what can I get you then?
T-Bag: Anyone with any feelings would get a lady some flowers or even a pretty Birthday cake.
T-Shirt: Yes, but what would you like?
T-Bag: Very funny! Flowers, birthday cake!
T-Shirt: Leave it all up to me.
T-Bag: Where have I heard that before?
(T-Bag leaves the room and T-Shirt looks in the saucer and sees the tulip field)
T-Shirt: Flowers. Great!

Take a day off

T-Bag: Right, there's been enough skylarking for one day. Birthday or no birthday I've got to get back on the trail of those pesky bells. I want a cup of tea and I want it now. Oh my head.
T-Shirt: Yes your Majesty.
T-Bag: I've got to find out what clever clogs is up to.
T-Shirt: Don't worry your head about her your Majesty.
T-Bag: I've got to get down there.
T-Shirt: Relax, it's your birthday, take a day off.
T-Bag: How can I you stupid boy? There's so much to do and so little time to do it in.
T-Shirt: You work much too hard you know, it's not good for you.
T-Bag: That's certainly true.
T-Shirt: You're your own worst enemy sometimes.
T-Bag: You may be right.
T-Shirt: Working your fingers to the bone, nose to the grind stone, day after day.
T-Bag: Oh, it's a wonder I have the strength left to hold that cup. Never the less, what has to be done, has to be done.
T-Shirt: Ah, ah, ah, you're taking the day off and that's final.
T-Bag: But the bell.
T-Shirt: The bell will be there tomorrow, you can find it then.
T-Bag: I suppose I can.
T-Shirt: Of course you can.
T-Bag: Alright, I can do with a break from all this hurly-burly. My head's still pounding.
T-Shirt: Unwind, stop worrying. That's the way, Birthday girl. And you never know, maybe later on I might have a nice surprise for you.
T-Bag: Really?

Added: 04/04/2015

Oh Tulips

T-Bag: Oh tulips, you didn’t magic them up?
T-Shirt: No I picked them fresh, here smell.
T-Bag: Arrrghhh.

"The Boom Bounces Back"
When T. Shirt meets Winnie de Mille there is another boom-mic that appears at the top of the screen (the camera cuts from various individual midshots, to a two-shot and the mic stays put for a while before being swiftly hoisted up!)

"Bells to go"
When Debbie first meets Winnie De Mille, Debbie explains she has only got three more gold bells to find, although she only needs two more (one in this episode and the last in the next episode) as she already has six bells.

"Trouble at Mill"
The windmill/field of tulips backcloth, though a lovely painting, is rather creased. A number of creases/dirt marks can be seen on the sky just to the left of the windmill. Ah, we never had CGI in them days!

"What’s In A Name?"
In this episode, T-Shirt discovers for the first time that the “T” in “T-Bag” stands for “Tallulah”. Thinking about it, though, how did he know “Bag” was her surname? Up to now it’s seemed as though “T-Bag” is just an unflattering nickname she obviously hates, and T-Shirt has never called her anything but “Your Majes-tea” (or occasionally, “T-Bag”). So how does he know she’s actually called Bag?

For more mistakes from other episodes, please see the Nitpicker's Guide

  • This is the first episode where T-Bag's first name in mentioned as Tallulah.
  • The name of the character Winnie De Mille, is a play-on-words for 'Windmill'.
  • Jo Warne, who played Winnie De Mille, sadly passed away on 13th January 2017, aged 79.

  • Jo Warne, who plays Winnie De Mille, appears in four episodes throughout the nine series of T-Bag, making her the most prolific guest actor alongside James Saxon and Matt Zimmerman. This is her first of her four appearances.
    (T. Bag and The Pearls of Wisdom, Episode 3: Elementary, My Dear What-Not)
    (T. Bag and The Rings of Olympus, Episode 7: Rats)
    (Take off with T. Bag, Episode 9: The Red Shoes)
  • In this episode T-Shirt receives a postcard from Mrs Merry who appeared earlier in this series.
    (T-Bag Bounces Back, Episode 4: Black Hearted Belle)
  • The large box that T-Shirt gives to T-Bag as a present (with the ball inside) can be seen in the curiosity shop next to the rocking horse.
    (T-Bag Bounces Back, Episode 1: The Ousting Of Major Happy)
    (T-Bag Bounces Back, Episode 10: Happy Ending)