T-Bag Bounces Back Episode 8: Max The Miller

The search for the next gold bell takes Debbie to Holland. Max the Miller sells some flour to Winnie De Mille, a cake maker, for her gold bell. It is T-Bag's birthday so T-Shirt gets her some tulips and a birthday cake from Winnie De Mille. T-Shirt also tries to get the gold bell from Max the Miller before Debbie does.
The High-T Website synopsis

T-Bag goes to Holland where Debbie meets jolly baker Winnie de Mille and miserable miller Max. It's T-Bag's birthday and T-Shirt goes on a quest for flowers and a cake with bells on. All is resolved when the cake explodes. Debbie gets her bell, Winnie her money, and Max gets his jut desserts.
TV Times listing

A day like today

T-Bag: T-Shirt. What are you doing?
T-Shirt: Trying to find the free toy.
T-Bag: Get your grubby little fingers out of there, give that to me.
T-Shirt: But I want my toy.
T-Bag: Toys, toys, toys, I'm sick of you and your toys. It's breakfast time, concentrate on eating your breakfast please. Pass me the bowl.
(T-Shirt blinks and as T-Bag begins to pour the cornflakes out of the box lots of plastic toys fall out).
T-Bag: What the.
T-Shirt: Great that's more like it There you are, that's for you.
T-Bag: What's this?
T-Shirt: Your free cornflake.
T-Bag: Do you do this deliberately to torture me or what? Are you trying to make my whole life a misery? Do I have to endure this suffering every single day. Do I? Especially on a day like today? It's bad enough on an ordinary day but today, a day like today.
T-Shirt: What do you mean, a day like today?
T-Bag: Oh nothing.
T-Shirt: What's special about today.
T-Bag: Nothing, nothing, forget I spoke.
T-Shirt: Oh, alright.
T-Bag: You do know what day it is today, don't you?
T-Shirt: Err, Thursday.
T-Bag: Humph! Any mail this morning?
T-Shirt: Oh yeah (he reaches over for the pile of letters).
T-Bag: Anything for me? Anything for me?
T-Shirt: This one's for Major Happy.
T-Bag: Oh that old fool.
T-Shirt: Major Happy, Major Happy, oh I can't quite read that one, what does that say?
T-Bag: Major Happy.
T-Shirt: Unhh, Major Happy, Major Happy.
T-Bag: Don't tell me they're all for him.
T-Shirt: Oh no, this one's not for Major Happy.
T-Bag: Really?
T-Shirt: No it's for me, it's a postcard from Mrs Merry, she says she's having a great time.
T-Bag: I don't give a tuppenny fig about mouldy Mrs Merry. No cards, no letters, no nothing, it's a downright disgrace.
T-Shirt: What's up with you, did you get out the wrong side of bed or something?
T-Bag: It's not fair, nobody cares about me.
T-Shirt: I do, a bit.
T-Bag: Thank you for nothing. If you really cared you would have remembered.
T-Shirt: Remembered what?
T-Bag: What day it is today.
T-Shirt: Of course, I remember.
T-Bag: At last.
T-Shirt: How silly of me, today's the day the bins get emptied. Don't worry Your Majesty I'll put it out after breakfast.
T-Bag: It's my birthday you ignoramus.
T-Shirt: Is it? When's my birthday?
T-Bag: You might at least wish me many happy returns.
T-Shirt: Many happy returns.
T-Bag: Thank you. What a rotten birthday this is, no presents, no cards, nobody to sing Happy Birthday to you.
T-Shirt: To me?
T-Bag: To me, to me, it's my birthday, and I must say I expected a little bit more from you than one measly cornflake. I'm going to get dressed.

Added: 10/08/2012

Happy Birthday Dear Tallulah

T-Bag: Right there's work to be... what?
T-Shirt: Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear...
T-Bag: What's the matter? Why have you stopped?
T-Shirt: Well I can’t sing Happy Birthday dear T-Bag can I cause you don't like it?
T-Bag: Well sing Happy Birthday Your Majesty.
T-Shirt: That's not very friendly is it? What is your fist name? What does the T stand for?
T-Bag: None of your business.
T-Shirt: Oh go on tell me, I'd like to know.
T-Bag: You only want to know so you can have a good laugh.
T-Shirt: No I only want to know so I can sing the rest of the song, then you can have your present!
T-Bag: Present eh? Well in that case it's Tal... (Mumbles)
T-Shirt: What was that?
T-Bag: I said it was T... (Mumbles again)
T-Shirt: I can't make it out.
T-Bag: Tallulah!
T-Shirt: Oh don't mess me about, what is it really?
T-Bag: Tallulah, Tallulah!
T-Shirt: Tallulah, ha ha ha ha ha. Tallulah Bag. Nice name that.
T-Bag: Well get on with it.
T-Shirt: Happy Birthday Dear Tallulah, Happy Birthday to you.
T-Bag: Right, present, present.
T-Shirt: Many Happy Returns of the day Tallulah
T-Bag: Thank you T-shirt, better late than never.
T-Shirt: Hope you like it.
(T-Bag opens up the present and picks out a football)
T-Shirt: Good eh? (T-Shirt Headers the ball)
T-Bag: You stupid boy! It's my birthday not yours, you're supposed to give me something that I like.
T-Shirt: You don't like anything.
T-Bag: I'd like the next gold bell; more than anything I'd like the next gold bell.
T-Shirt: All right I'll get you that for you.
T-Bag: Alright. No, I’m not having you messing things up anymore, leave that to me.
T-Shirt: Well, what can I get you then?
T-Bag: Anyone with any feelings would get a lady some flowers or even a pretty Birthday cake.
T-Shirt: Yes, but what would you like?
T-Bag: Very funny! Flowers, birthday cake!
T-Shirt: Leave it all up to me.
T-Bag: Where have I heard that before?
(T-Bag leaves the room and T-Shirt looks in the saucer and sees the tulip field).
T-Shirt: Flowers. Great!

Everyone seems to be mad keen on bells today

Debbie: Oh, I can't walk another step.
Winnie De Mille: Mean old miserable miserly, monster of a man. Oh hello, you're a stranger in these parts aren't you?
Debbie: Mmm, I'm just visiting.
Winnie De Mille: Why so gloomy? Holland's a lovely country, you should be enjoying your holiday.
Debbie: I'm not on holiday. I'm on a sort of mission.
Winnie De Mille: A mission?
Debbie: I'm searching for something here but I just don't know where to look.
Winnie De Mille: What is it? I know this place like the back of my hand, I may be able to help you.
Debbie: I don't suppose you've seen a little gold bell on your travels?
Winnie De Mille: What?
Debbie: A little gold bell, it's got to be about here somewhere.
Winnie De Mille: It certainly is and I know where.
Debbie: You do? Where?
Winnie De Mille: Max the Miller, the rogue.
Debbie: Oh great.
Winnie De Mille: It's not so great. He's a real bully, a nasty piece of work. I wouldn't go near him if I were you.
Debbie: I have to. I must get that bell.
Winnie De Mille: Yes I know.
Debbie: I've only got two more to find. Oh please will you show me how to get there?
Winnie De Mille: Oh alright but be careful.
(They both walk off and T-Shirt appears by magic, he picks some tulips and bees are buzzing around them).
T-Shirt: Oh get out of it, buzz off.
(Winnie De Mille walks back).
Winnie De Mille: Oh, hello there.
T-Shirt: Oh, hello.
Winnie De Mille: Picking some flowers for your girlfriend are you?
T-Shirt: Oh, get out of it.
Winnie De Mille: Well, I think that's very sweet.
T-Shirt: If you must know, they're for somebody's birthday. If she doesn't like these, she'll just have to lump it. Winnie De Mille, cake maker, is that you?
Winnie De Mille: Huh-huh.
T-Shirt: You make cakes?
Winnie De Mille: Mmm-hmmm.
T-Shirt: What, like special cakes?
Winnie De Mille: Mmm-hmmm.
T-Shirt: Like Birthday cakes?
Winnie De Mille: Ooooh, I do a wonderful line in birthday cakes, talk of the town they're are.
T-Shirt: Could you make me a birthday cake, a large one?
Winnie De Mille: Ooh I could but it'd cost you a lot of money.
T-Shirt: Oh money's no problem, how much will it cost?
Winnie De Mille: More than you could afford I'm sure.
T-Shirt: How much?
Winnie De Mille: Well it's five gold coins for the flour and one more gold coin for the making, that's...
T-Shirt: Six gold coins.
Winnie De Mille: Well that's it. It's not too much is it?
(T-Shirt uses his magic to make a big bag of coins appear).
T-Shirt: As I said, money's no problem, here's a bag full.
Winnie De Mille: What the?
T-Shirt: Only trouble is I need it pretty quickly.
Winnie De Mille: Oh, good grief.
T-Shirt: When can I have it? When can I have it?
Winnie De Mille: Ooh, oh, I don't know, ooh, I, I suppose at a push, two hours.
T-Shirt: Great, meet you back here in two hours.
Winnie De Mille: Right, ooh, any special little design you'd like on the cake?
T-Shirt: Eh?
Winnie De Mille: You know, like little marzipan hearts or icing flowers, any special little motif you'd like?
T-Shirt: Er, I know, bells.
Winnie De Mille: Bells.
T-Shirt: She's mad keen on bells at the moment. Put lots of little bells over it, she'll like that.
Winnie De Mille: Bells, good.
T-Shirt: Right, I've got the flowers, the cake's on it's way, that should make her happy. (T-Shirt uses his magic and disappears).
Winnie De Mille: And how would you... ooh. Everyone seems to be mad keen on bells today.

Added: 04/04/2023

Take a day off

T-Bag: Right, there's been enough skylarking for one day. Birthday or no birthday I've got to get back on the trail of those pesky bells. I want a cup of tea and I want it now. Oh my head.
T-Shirt: Yes your Majesty.
T-Bag: I've got to find out what clever clogs is up to.
T-Shirt: Don't worry your head about her your Majesty.
T-Bag: I've got to get down there.
T-Shirt: Relax, it's your birthday, take a day off.
T-Bag: How can I you stupid boy? There's so much to do and so little time to do it in.
T-Shirt: You work much too hard you know, it's not good for you.
T-Bag: That's certainly true.
T-Shirt: You're your own worst enemy sometimes.
T-Bag: You may be right.
T-Shirt: Working your fingers to the bone, nose to the grind stone, day after day.
T-Bag: Oh, it's a wonder I have the strength left to hold that cup. Never the less, what has to be done, has to be done.
T-Shirt: Ah, ah, ah, you're taking the day off and that's final.
T-Bag: But the bell.
T-Shirt: The bell will be there tomorrow, you can find it then.
T-Bag: I suppose I can.
T-Shirt: Of course you can.
T-Bag: Alright, I can do with a break from all this hurly-burly. My head's still pounding.
T-Shirt: Unwind, stop worrying. That's the way, Birthday girl. And you never know, maybe later on I might have a nice surprise for you.
T-Bag: Really?

Added: 04/04/2015

Oh Tulips

T-Bag: Oh tulips, you didn’t magic them up?
T-Shirt: No I picked them fresh, here smell.
T-Bag: Arrrghhh.