T. Bag And The Pearls Of Wisdom Episode 3: Elementary, My Dear What-Not

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UK Air Date16/01/1990, 4.20pm
Repeat Screening25/06/1992, 4.05pm
Copyright Year1989
VTR Date21/08/1989
Fremantle Archive Ref48947 (series ref)
Consecutive Episode Number55
IMDB LinkEpisode page

T. Bag (Tabatha Bag)Georgina Hale
T. ShirtJohn Hasler
Sally SimpkinsKellie Bright
Lady RufflesJo Warne
Police Constable ClodRoger Sloman

Make UpAdam Beck
CostumeRaymond Childe
Graphic DesignerJeff Harrison
Stage ManagerBobby Webber
Lighting DirectorClive Gulliver
Production AssistantElena Adams
DesignerJohn Plant
ProducerCharles Warren
Written ByLee Pressman
Grant Cathro
DirectorLeon Thau

Sally arrives in Victorian London where she meets Police Constable Clod and Lady Ruffles with her dog Willoughby who has the next pearl on his collar. When Willoughby is dognapped she offers a reward. When Willoughby returns, Constable Clod has a plan to dognap Willoughby and wait until the reward money goes up.
The High-T Website synopsis
In the next episode Sally finds herself in Victorian London in search of the next missing pearl. At last a London bobby appears upon the scene, can he be of any help? Can this really be Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson? Find out in T. Bag and the Pearls of Wisdom.
Next week preview (from previous episode)
Today Sally finds herself in Victorian London. Is someone else after the next missing pearl? Can the police help Sally? Can this really be Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson? Find out now.
Stay tuned preview (from start of episode)
Hot on Sally’s trail, we tracked her down to Victorian London where T-Bag knew she would find the next missing pearl; as usual T-Bag was wrong. Armed with three of the Pearls of Wisdom Sally sallied forth to find the fourth.
Pearls of Wisdom video - T-Shirt's summary

If you would like to contribute your favourite/funniest etc quotes from this episode please contact me.

A job for the Police

Lady Ruffles: He's gone, he's gone, my little Willoughby's gone.
Sally: Is there nowhere in the house he could be?
Lady Ruffles: No, we've looked everywhere, he's gone. Gone.
P.C. Clod: Hello, hello, what's all this then? What's up?
Sally: Lady Ruffles has lost her dog.
P.C. Clod: Not little Willoughby.
Lady Ruffles: He's gone, gone.
P.C. Clod: Now, now, don't fret, he's probably just taken himself off for a little stroll somewhere.
Lady Ruffles: Oh I've got to get him back.
P.C. Clod: He'll turn up, don't worry. I don't own a dog myself but I'm sure the little scamps are always running off like this, eh.
Lady Ruffles: Oh, not Willoughby, he's not that sort of dog. Constable I want to offer a reward. One hundred guineas to the person who brings back my precious poochy-woochy.
P.C. Clod: One hundred guineas. Streuth!
Lady Ruffles: Oh he's worth every farthing. Well don't just stand there man, get going. Willoughby, Willoughby, wibbly, wobbly, Willoughby.
(Lady Ruffles runs off to try and find Willoughby).
Sally: Do you really think he's just wandered off somewhere constable?
P.C. Clod: Well little Missy, to tell you the truth, might not be as straightforward as I optimistically surmised.
Sally: Huh?
P.C. Clod: Yes, yes, I didn't like to say anything to her Ladyship but er... There's been a lot of these dognappings lately.
Sally: Dognappings?!
P.C. Clod: This is definitely a job for the Police. You leave it to the professionals. Oh yes, what's required here is the expert approach to relocating misplaced mutts. Willoughby, Willoughby, wibbly, wobbly, Willoughby.

Added: 04/04/2015

The Pearl was on it's collar

T-Shirt: The pearl was on its collar.
T-Bag: You stupid idiot.
T-Shirt: What?
T-Bag: What, why didn’t you tell me?
T-Shirt: Because every time I open my mouth...
T-Bag: Why did you let me send it back?
T-Shirt: Because you wouldn’t let me...
T-Bag: Why, why, why?
T-Shirt: Because you did the same as you’re doing now, you never listen to me.
T-Bag: Oh shut up.

Ring any bells?

T-Bag: So what are we looking for here? Bald-headed, left-handed, left-legged, Australian trombone playing pirate. Does that ring any bells with you?
Lady Ruffles: No.

"Historically Correct?"
There is a plastic dustbin in Victorian London where Constable Clod hides Lady Ruffle’s Dog, Willoughby. It’s hardly historically correct. The dustbin can also be seen when Sally and T-Shirt run through the board spaces in episode 10 as this 'running through the square' was filmed at the same time.

For more mistakes from other episodes, please see the Nitpicker's Guide

  • This episode was cut from the official VHS release of the series and replaced with a short voice-over clip recorded by John Hasler (T-Shirt).
  • The episode title is taken from Sherlock Holmes catchphrase 'Elementary, Mr Dear Watson'.
  • The door number of Lady Ruffle's home is 6, maybe added to show that this is the sixth series of T-Bag.
  • Roger Sloman appeared in The Tomorrow People which was also written by Lee Pressman and Grant Cathro. Roger Sloman appeared in all five episodes of 'The Culex Experiment' as Inspector Platt.
  • Roger Sloman appeared in Mike & Angelo which was also written by Lee Pressman and Grant Cathro. Roger Sloman appeared in the episode 'Trust Me, I'm A Doctor!' (#6.2, 29/02/1994) as Sydney Pinner.
  • Roger Sloman appeared in B & B which was also written by Lee Pressman and Grant Cathro. Roger Sloman appeared in the programme as Bob Noakes.
  • Georgina Hale appeared in the 1981 theatre production of 'Steaming' in London's Comedy Theatre alongside Jo Warne who appears in this episode as Lady Ruffles.