T-Bag Bounces Back Episode 4: Black Hearted Belle

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UK Air DateFri 13/02/1987, 4.20pm
Repeat ScreeningThurs 27/07/1989, 4.25pm
CiTV Channel
Repeat Screening
Sat 05/01/2013, 10.30am
Copyright YearMCMLXXXVI (1986)
VTR Date11/12/1986
Fremantle Archive Ref35292 (series ref)
Runtime00:20:05:02
Consecutive Episode Number24
IMDB LinkEpisode page

T. Bag (Tallulah Bag)Elizabeth Estensen
T. ShirtJohn Hasler
DebbieJennie Stallwood
Black Hearted BelleJan Hunt
Mrs MerryAnn Penfold

Make UpAnn Briggs
Costume DesignerRaymond Childe
Graphic DesignerAlex Forbes
Stage ManagerBobby Webber
Production AssistantJoanna Stewart
Songs ByTerry Trower
Written ByLee Pressman
Grant Cathro
DesignerJohn Plant
ProducersCharles Warren
Leon Thau
DirectorLeon Thau

Debbie arrives on a beach near a pirate ship so she hides her bag in the sand. She gets kidnapped by a pirate named Black Hearted Belle who takes her back to her ship. When Debbie tries to escape she falls and loses her memory Belle tells her she is Red Headed Rosie, one of her crew. T-Bag pretends to be Belle’s lost cousin Mildred to get the bell from Belle but her plans go wrong as usual.
The High-T Website synopsis
Debbie goes to a desert island and is captured by Black Hearted Belle, a pirate. Mrs Merry comes to clean for T-Bag and becomes a good friend of T-Shirt. All of them eventually arrive on Belle’s ship where Debbie has lost her memory. When T-Bag arrives on the ship in search of the missing bell, strange things begin to happen.
TV Times listing

If you would like to contribute your favourite/funniest etc quotes from this episode please contact me.

Mrs Merry the cleaning lady

Mrs. Merry: Coo-ee, coo-ee, yu-hoo. It's only me, well Major, it's Thursday again, time doesn't half fly, eh? And none of us is getting any younger that's for sure and that mountain path of yours doesn't get any shorter either. Phew, I'm all in, be alright in a minute though 'specially if you put the kettle on. Oh, hello? Morning.
T-Shirt: Good morning.
Mrs. Merry: Where's Major Happy?
T-Bag: Gone, who are you?
Mrs. Merry: Gone, where's he gone? He can't have gone, this is his house.
T-Bag: Was his house, now it's my house.
Mrs. Merry: Ooo-err.
T-Bag: There's been a few changes round here, now who are you?
Mrs. Merry: I'm Mrs Merry the cleaning lady, Major Happy's cleaning lady.
T-Bag: Well too bad, you can just pack up your bucket and be off.
Mrs. Merry: But it's Thursday morning, I always give this place a once-over on Thursday morning.
T-Bag: T. Shirt, show this person the door.
T-Shirt: Right. This is the door, here. Nice, isn't it?
Mrs. Merry: A proper little joker you got there, Mrs!
T-Bag: A proper little pain, more like!
Mrs. Merry: Ohh, what a great lot of toys, did you get these for your birthday?
T-Shirt: No, I magic them up.
Mrs. Merry: Oh-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o, this is a Meccano main Hornby train set.
T-Shirt: Yes, that's right.
Mrs. Merry: And did you magic up this Wellington bomber?
T-Shirt: Yes.
Mrs. Merry: Oh-o-o-o-o, you are a lucky boy. Look at that!
T-Shirt: This is Gore, the lord protector.
Mrs. Merry: Yeah, but there's a later model, it goes marh-morh-marh-morh-marh-morh.
T-Bag: I don't believe this, T-Shirt!
Mrs. Merry: Oh, I love playing with children and I love a good laugh. Laugh and the world laughs with you, isn't that right Mrs? Well, seeing as how I'm here I might as well get cracking.
T-Bag: Don't you understand English? I said get out of here.
T-Shirt: Oh, let Mrs Merry stay your Majesty, I bet she's much better at housework than I am.
T-Bag: Well, she couldn't be any worse.
Mrs. Merry: I never had any complaints from Major Happy.
T-Shirt: Oh, let her stay, you said yourself the place was a shambles.
T-Bag: Alright, stay, but hear this I want this place fit for a Queen, is that clear?
Mrs. Merry: Clear as a bell, Mrs.

Added: 04/04/2013

My long lost cousin

Debbie: How am I doing Captain? Everything shipshape enough for you.
Black Hearted Belle: Ah lass, that it be.
(T-Bag appears but out of view from Belle and Debbie).
Black Hearted Belle: You know something shipmate, I can't help thinking how much you does remind me of somebody.
Debbie: Who's that Captain, 'ems dyin' to 'ear.
T-Bag: Oooh the little creep!
Black Hearted Belle: You reminds me of my long lost cousin, Mildred her name was, she was a livewire just like you. Oh we haven't clapped eyes on one another since we was girls.
Debbie: Why not?
Black Hearted Belle: Why not? I'll tell ye. Age of twelve we both was when we packed ourselves up and set off to sea, we stowed away onboard a ship bound for adventure and adventure's what we got alright.
Debbie: What happened?
Black Hearted Belle: Well, ten days out to sea and a storm broke, a real humdinger. The ship went down like a brick but I was lucky, I grabbed me a barrel and I clung to it for a fortnight before being washed up on a reef.
Debbie: What about Mildred Cap'n?
Black Hearted Belle: Oh, dunno lass, haven't heard hide or hair of her since, I expect Davy Jones has got her now. Oh poor Mildred, she was a fine girl. I'll never forget her.
Debbie: Don't be cryin' Cap'n.
Black Hearted Belle: Crying? Who be crying? Pirates never cry, get back to work there.
Debbie: Aye aye Cap'n.
(Belle leaves and T-Bag accosts Debbie).
T-Bag: Aye, aye, Cap'n, don't be cryin' Cap'n.
Debbie: Hello there shipmate.
T-Bag: Don't give me that cheek, I know what you're up to, cut the cackle and where's the bag?
Debbie: What bag?
T-Bag: Now look here Deborah.
Debbie: I'm not Deborah, I'm Red-headed Rosie, rascal of the reef, scourge of the seven seas. And who might you be shipmate?
T-Bag: You impudent little pup, I'll get that bell.
Debbie: Don't you worry shipmate, I'll get her for you. Cap'n, Cap'n, somebody to see you.
(Debbie leaves to fetch Belle).
T-Bag: How I loath and detest that child.
(Belle comes back).
Black Hearted Belle: What's this? What's all this? Somebody to see me? Who be you?
T-Bag: Belay me hearty, pieces of eight, and blow me down with a wooden leg, ar Jimlad arr!
Black Hearted Belle: What do you want?
T-Bag: Belle? Belle? Is it really you?
Black Hearted Belle: Who wants to know?
T-Bag: Don't you even recognise me? It's me, your long lost cousin Mildred.
Black Hearted Belle: It can't be.
T-Bag: It is.
Black Hearted Belle: You can't be.
T-Bag: I am.
Black Hearted Belle: Mildred. Ohhhhh, oh, well is it really you?
T-Bag: Arh me hearty, it is me, large as life.
Black Hearted Belle: Well run me up the flagpole and throw me off the crow's nest, me long lost cousin.

Added: 04/04/2014

Crossed swords with the wrong person

Black Hearted Belle: Two gold bells, this mean anything to you lass?
Debbie: No, no I don't think so.
(T-Bag appears).
T-Bag: Well it does to me.
(Debbie falls and her memory returns).
Debbie: Oh. I know you, I remember you, you're T-Bag.
Black Hearted Belle: You're not my cousin Mildred.
T-Bag: Oh it's twigged has it?
Black Hearted Belle: Ah-arh, well whoever you are, you've crossed swords with the wrong person this time. En guard.
T-Bag: If you insist (T-Bag swipes her sword several times). Ha ha!
(T-Bag slices the rope with the sword which releases the sail which falls and knocks her out).
Black Hearted Belle: Impostor, of course I knew all along she wasn't my cousin Mildred.
(Mrs. Merry appears).
Mrs. Merry: Hmm, somebody call my name?
Black Hearted Belle: Mildred?
Mrs. Merry: That's me.
Black Hearted Belle: It's me, Belle, cousin Belle.
Mrs. Merry: My cousin. Ohhhhh!
(T-Shirt appears).
T-Shirt: Mrs Merry?
Black Hearted Belle: After all these years.
Mrs. Merry: After all these years.
(T-Bag comes round but has lost her memory).
T-Bag: Oh, hello dear, who are you?
T-Shirt: Eh?
T-Bag: You're a charming little girl, what's your name?
Debbie: You know my name, now give me that bag.
T-Bag: What bag's that dear?
Debbie: The one in your hand.
T-Shirt: (Laughs) That’s a laugh, isn’t it, your Majesty? Her thinking you're just going to hand it over (Laughs).
T-Bag: Well if it's the little girl's bag I must return it to her, mustn't I?
T-Shirt: Eh?
T-Bag: There you are petal, all yours.
T-Shirt: What are you doing?
T-Bag: What's your name little boy?
T-Shirt: I think I better take you home.
T-Bag: Home? Where's that?
T-Shirt: Come on, we're going.
T-Bag: But you haven't introduced me to all your nice friends.
T-Shirt: Come on.
(T-Bag and T-Shirt disappear).
Debbie: Well that's all very strange. Belle, about that earring.
Black Hearted Belle: Ah me hearty, say no more, you've done your bit. You can have anything you wants.
Debbie: Thanks.
Black Hearted Belle: Oh, me long lost Mildred.
Mrs. Merry: Me long lost Belle.
Black Hearted Belle: Oh we've got so much to talk about.
Mrs. Merry: The Wellington boots, remember the Wellington boots?
Black Hearted Belle: Yeah, full of custard (laughs). And the frog.
Mrs. Merry: The frog, oh those were the days.

Added: 04/04/2015

"What’s My Line?"
Near the end of the episode, when T-Bag has been knocked on the head and has forgotten who Debbie is, T-Shirt says: “That’s a laugh, isn’t it, m-Your Majesty?” And like the pros they are, they just carry on.

For more mistakes from other episodes, please see the Nitpicker's Guide

  • This episode reached number 89 in the most watched programme of the week (week ending Feb 15th) with a peak of 5.13 million viewers beating other well-loved Children's shows such as Rainbow, Sooty, He-Man, Mysterious Cities of Gold and Thundercats!
  • This episode was broadcast on the CiTV Channel on Saturday 5th January 2013 (at 10.30am) as part of their 'Old Skool Weekend' celebrating 30 years of Children's ITV. This is the only time an episode of T-Bag has been broadcast on a Saturday in the UK. The overnight viewing figures show this episode of T-Bag was watched by 304, 000 (a 3.8% audience share) making it the tenth most watched programme on CiTV on the Saturday (or 6th by it's audience share).

  • Jan Hunt, who plays Black Hearted Belle, appears in three episodes throughout the nine series of T-Bag. This is her second of her three appearances.
    (T-Bag Strikes Again, Episode 7: Long John Sylvia)
    (T. Bag and The Pearls of Wisdom, Episode 8: Cedric Sackbutt's Search For A Song)
  • The multi-coloured dress worn by Mrs Merry was used in three other episodes, worn by Long John Sylvia, Rum Barbara and can also be spotted in T. Bag and The Revenge of The T. Set when T. Bag steals the spoons from Sally near the end of the episode.
    (T-Bag Strikes Again, Episode 7: Long John Sylvia)
    (T. Bag and The Revenge of the T. Set, Episode 9: The Bard)
    (T. Bag and The Rings of Olympus, Episode 4: Rum Barbara)
  • A clip from this episode is shown when T-Shirt reminisces in T. Bag and the Revenge of the T. Set.
    (T. Bag and The Revenge of the T. Set, Episode 1: The Stone Circle)
  • Mrs Merry is mentioned later in the series during episode eight when T-Shirt receives a letter from her.
    (T-Bag Bounces Back, Episode 8: Max The Miller)
  • The phrase ‘Stuff me in the cannon and blast me over the horizon’ said by Black Hearted Belle when encouraging Debbie to join the crew was also said by T-Bag during T. Bag and The Rings of Olympus.
    (T. Bag and The Rings of Olympus, Episode 4: Rum Barbara)