T-Bag Strikes Again Episode 9: Charlie Chuckles

Debbie and T-Shirt are in the forest in story 9, T-Shirt uses his magic to show the next number is in the castle but T-Bag takes his magic away so he can not use it anymore. They meet Charlie Chuckles, a jester, who T-Shirt stays with to be his assistant. Debbie goes to the castle and meets the King who hires Charlie for some entertainment for T-Bag who he thinks is a Queen. Who will get the Silver number 9 from the King?
The High-T Website synopsis

Oh mighty plant, oh sacred weed

(T-Bag is playing darts but still has the bandages on her fingers).
T-Bag: One hundred and Eight-T. Oh these stupid things. That insolent traitorous little pup T-Shirt, how dare he bite the hand that feeds him? Use his magical powers against me, would he? Well I'll just have to take them back before he does anymore damage.
(T-Bag stands and walks over to the T-Plant, the room glows a dark eerie red as T-Bag begins her magical chant).
T-Bag: Oh mighty plant, oh sacred weed, attend my wishes now with speed. Reach out to T-Shirt where-ere he be and bring his magic back to me.
(The scene continues in the forest with Debbie and T-Shirt).
Debbie: T-Shirt, we've really got to try and find the silver number nine.
T-Shirt: Don't worry Debbie.
(A loud high-pitched screeching sound is heard as the forest plunges into darkness, within moments daylight returns and the screeching sounds stop).
Debbie: What was that?
T-Shirt: I don't know.
Debbie: Look!
T-Shirt: What?
Debbie: The T on your T-Shirt. T-Shirt, it's gone.
(T-Shirt looks at his cap).
T-Shirt: And it's gone from here as well, that's funny.
Debbie: What does it mean?
T-Shirt: I don't know and I don't care, let's find this number once and for all. Come in number nine (T-Shirt blinks but nothing happens). Come in number nine (T-Shirt blinks again and still nothing happens), eh?
Debbie: I don't like this.
T-Shirt: Just a minute, come in number nine please.

Added: 04/04/2015

My secret passion for playing skittles

The King: Oh, what is this? What is this? Papers to sign, letters to write, laws to be made, plans to approve, papers, papers and more papers. Oh, oh, what is this? You are invited to a grand summer ball. No! All those boring, boring people. There's only one ball that I'm interested in. Mmm, this one. Oh my precious, my beauty, my pride and joy, hmm-mmm. (He takes off his cloak so he can play skittles). Oh I can't stand all this rubbish. Ha, ha, ha, huh. Now then. Mmm, ha, oh, lucky charm, lucky charm. I have a feeling I'm going to knock these skittles right through the ceiling. Geronimo. (He misses) Blast, blast. Huh, now then, steady hand, steady eye.
Debbie: Hello.
The King: Urrrhhhh. Gurh, churr, urhh. Oh my word.
Debbie: Hello.
The King: Yurh, how dare you, how dare you come in here without waiting to be asked?
Debbie: Oh, I'm very sorry. Did I see you playing skittles just now?
The King: Skittles, me? A King playing skittles? Are you mad? I was er, I was attending to the er, royal paperwork you see, huh. Er, plans and letters and things.
Debbie: What are those then?
The King: What are what?
Debbie: Those skittles.
The King: Yurh, good heavens, w-w-w-where did they came from? Who left those there?
Debbie: You did, I saw you just trying to knock them over.
The King: Please, you won't tell anyone will you? Please. If anybody were to find out about my secret passion for playing skittles I'd be the laughing stock of the entire land.
Debbie: I don't see why.
The King: Well, a King should be sensible and serious, respected and dignified, a King should behave like a King.
Debbie: Don't you like being King?
The King: Oh I loathe it. It's the worst job in the world (he tuts), I can't stand it. Oh yes sire, oh no sire, oh three bags full sire. Please you won't tell anybody will you?
Debbie: What about?
The King: My skittling, oh they'd all think I was such a ninny.
Debbie: I won't tell a soul.
The King: Oh thank you, thank you, thank you, oh.
Debbie: I was just here to see if I could find a little silver...
The King: Silver, a little silver, I have loads of the stuff, I have rooms crammed full of it. Oh take as much as you can carry, eh.
Debbie: Oh.
The King: There you are. You have a rummage round in there. Help yourself, it's all yours.
Debbie: Oh thank you.
The King: Hmm-mmm (he sighs with relief).

Added: 04/04/2025

The yellow pom pom's attached to the red pom pom

Charlie Chuckles: Now watch carefully. The yellow pom pom's attached to the red pom pom; and the red pom pom's attached to the white pom pom; and the white pom pom's attached to the blue pom pom; and the blue pom pom's attached to the yellow pom pom; but also the yellow pom pom's attached to the white pom pom; and the white pom pom's attached to the yellow pom pom. Now Sir, if you pull down the white pom pom (T-Shirt pulls down the white pom pom and the yellow pom pom stays still), I thank you. Ahh I know what you're thinking they’re joined in the middle and you’d be absolutely wrong (Charlie Chuckles pulls the adjoining pole apart). Right ahh come on now you have a try.

A right royal entertainment

(T-Bag appears by magic).
The King: Oh (he drops all the papers he's picked up). What's the big idea popping up out the blue like that and scaring me out of my wits? Who are you?
T-Bag: Who am I?
The King: That is what I say, who?
T-Bag: Surely you got my letter.
The King: Letter?
T-Bag: Surely you were expecting me.
The King: Expecting you?
T-Bag: Surely you must know who I am.
The King: Must I? Well, I... Letter. Ah, yes, letter, yes of course. I, I was expecting you. Huh, yeah, who are you? Uh, I mean, how are you?
T-Bag: I'm very well thank you.
The King: Well, well this is a surprise, well no I don't mean a surprise exactly, I mean it's a surprise to see you again so soon. Huh, yes, that's it.
T-Bag: You do know why I'm here don't you?
The King: Yes, of course I do. As a matter of fact I, I have your letter right here. Er somewhere, yeah, no that's not it, er well, that's not it, that's not it.
T-Bag: I'll have to get rid of this bumbler for a start.
The King: Oh that's not it.
T-Bag: I am Queen Titania, sovereign High-T of the Isle of Hightea.
The King: Get away. Uh, I mean, yes, yes, I know that.
T-Bag: Look, if you can't entertain visiting dignitaries then I shall take myself off and tell everybody what a shabby castle you run here.
The King: Oh no, everything's alright your, your Highness, your Majesty. Yes, yes, it's all arranged, everything's alright, yes, hmm.
T-Bag: Well I don't see it.
The King: Well, er, yes erm, well they were, er, huh, guh, you can't trust some people can you? Er, I had a right royal entertainment all lined up for you and now look, they've let me down (he tuts).
T-Bag: Well you better go and find them hadn't you?
The King: Yes, absol... uh who? Oh yes, yes, yes, I will, I will, I will.
T-Bag: Hurry along.
The King: Yes, er, don't go away, I won't be long, make yourself at home.
T-Bag: Snivveling old buffoon. Now, where's that infernal number nine?

Added: 04/04/2025

You're going to enjoy this and it's all for you

Debbie: Sire, sire, I can't find it anywhere. T-Bag!
T-Bag: Yes, you interfering little brat. Now that I have you alone.
Debbie: You can't harm me.
T-Bag: Oh can't I?
Debbie: Get away.
T-Bag: Soon you'll wish you'd never been born.
(Trumpeting music plays and the King enters).
The King: Take your seats one and all and the show will commence.
T-Bag: What's all this nonsense?
The King: Oh what a treat we have in store for you, now sit down, sit down, sit down. You're going to enjoy this and it's all for you.
T-Bag: Waffles and wheatcakes.
The King: Let the show commence (he claps and Charlie Chuckles walks in).
Charlie Chuckles: Ta, la ta, ta, ta, daaaaah. Ah, Madam, for you.
T-Bag: Ah.
(He holds out a white rose which wilts and the King laughs).
Charlie Chuckles: For my first feat I shall attempt to make a paper weight. A paper (he places his newspaper on the floor), wait. Paper, wait. Ha, get it? A paper wait? Oh please yourselves.
T-Bag: This is rubbish.
The King: Oh there's more, there's more.
T-Bag: I was afraid of that.
Charlie Chuckles: And now it's magic time. Er, magic time, yes, erm. Come on son, hurry up. Hmm, er, the object of the first trick will be to make a most valuable item disappear without trace.
T-Bag: I want you to make her disappear without trace.
Charlie Chuckles: Ha, of course, erm, as my new assistant seems to have disappeared without trace perhaps the young lady would like to assist me.
Debbie: I'd love too.
Charlie Chuckles: Good, so I will make a priceless piece of silver vanish into thin air.
Debbie & T-Bag: The Silver number nine.
T-Bag: I want that, give it to me.
Debbie: No give it to me please.
T-Bag: Drat you, you interfering brat.
Charlie Chuckles: Ladies, ladies. Madam, I don't know who you are but if I'm going to give it to anyone I shall give it to the young lady there.
T-Bag: Stop! You take one step in her direction and you'll be sorry.
Charlie Chuckles: Fiddlesticks.
T-Bag: You dare to deny me, The High-T, do you know what I can do to you? I have only to raise my hand.
Debbie: No, stop.
T-Bag: What?
Debbie: She could do the most dreadful things to you Charlie.
T-Bag: That's right.
Debbie: Horrible things.
T-Bag: Yes.
Debbie: So I think you better give to her the silver number nine.
T-Bag: What?
Debbie: I couldn't bear to see the dreadful things you'd do to this poor man, so I'll just stand over here and you can give it to her.
(Debbie walks over and stands beside Charlie).
T-Bag: You heard what she said, give.
Charlie Chuckles: Madam allow me to give it to you (he performs the trick secretly passing the silver number to Debbie), what's this? Nothing in this hand.
T-Bag: Of course not, what a stupid trick. Do you take me for a fool? It's in the other hand.
Charlie Chuckles: Oh! No, it's not there either.
T-Bag: Shortcake and crumpets, I want that nine.
Charlie Chuckles: But Madam, I haven't got it.
Debbie: But I have.
T-Bag: What?
(T-Shirt enters).
T-Shirt: I got your message.
T-Bag: T-Shirt.
T-Shirt: Oh, has the show finished?
T-Bag: Yes and it's curtains for you. Come here.
T-Shirt: Uh-oh.
Debbie: T-Shirt, run.
T-Bag: He's not going anywhere (T-Bag uses her magic and T-Shirt’s feet are stuck to the floor).
T-Shirt: Go without me Debs.
Debbie: No.
T-Shirt: Go, hurry.
(Debbie runs away).
T-Bag: That's right, run, I'll catch up with you. And as for you boy.
T-Shirt: Cup of tea?
T-Bag: I'll give you a cup of tea, back to the T-Room.
T-Shirt: No.
T-Bag: I said back to the T-Room.
(T-Bag uses her magic and they both disappear).
Charlie Chuckles: He's gone.
The King: She's gone.
The King & Charlie Chuckles: You've gone, uurrghhhh.
Charlie Chuckles: Uh, oh, oh, ooh.

Added: 04/04/2025