T. Bag And The Revenge Of The T. Set Episode 3: Lost In Space

Sally arrives aboard a spaceship but gets beamed down when she tries to take something from the museum, the captain finds the silver spoon and places it in this collection and Sally must try to get it before T-Bag and T-Shirt do.
The High-T Website synopsis

They're still after the Silver Spoons. This week Sally goes to a strange planet where she outwits T-Bag and T-Shirt as they try to get the Spoons from the Space Museum.
Lookin listing

Coffee!

T-Shirt: Here you are your majesty, drink this...
T-Bag: Ahh yes (sips tea) Beurghh uhh, what is this?
T-Shirt: Coffee!
T-Bag: Coffee? Coffee? Are you mad? Fix me a real drink, Tea!

Any old iron

T-Bag: Fig rolls and fairy cakes, come on, do your stuff.
T-Shirt: Not having much luck eh?
T-Bag: Button it boy.
T-Shirt: Let me try.
T-Bag: Get off. (Beeps faster) Ah! Bingo! This could be it. Quick, move that rock. Ooh, why didn't I think of this sooner, one bleep and Bob's your uncle, well?
T-Shirt: Congratulations your Majesty, well done, I have to hand it to you, this'll lead us straight to the spoon, oh yes. Mind you, funny looking spoon this, I could swear it was a rusty old baked bean tin.
T-Bag: I'll slap you in a minute. (Beeps faster) Ah-arh-ha-ha! This is it, this is it, this time. Ah-arh-ha-ha-ha!
(Sally hears T-Bag's voice in the distance).
Sally: What's that, there's someone else here, perhaps they can help me.
(Sally rushes off).
T-Shirt: Oh yes, this is it, this is it this time. Any old iron, any old iron, any any any old iron, you'll look sweet.
T-Bag: And you'll looked slapped if you don't shut up. Where is that blasted spoon, it must be here somewhere.
T-Shirt: You're the boss.
(Sally rushes in).
Sally: T-Bag!
T-Bag: Sally Simpkins.
Sally: I thought there was no intelligent life on this planet and I was right.
T-Bag: Very droll my dear, might one presume that your feverish search for the spoon is continuing to draw a blank?
Sally: Don't you worry, I'll get it before you do.
T-Bag: Oh but I'm not worried am I? Not with this little gizmo to help me.
T-Shirt: Oi, who are you calling a gizmo?
T-Bag: Quiet you. Out of my way girl, your face is annoying me!
(T-Bag strides off).
Sally: What are you staring at?
T-Shirt: Why are you just standing there? Why aren't you looking for the spoon?
Sally: Not much point when it's on the spaceship is there?
T-Shirt: What spaceship?
Sally: Oh, no, nothing, I mean...
T-Shirt: You mean it's not here, it's on the spaceship.
Sally: No, forget it, forget it. you're right, it's here.
T-Shirt: Your Majesty, your Majesty, I know where the spoon is.
(T-Shirt rushes off).
Sally: Me and my big mouth.
(T-Bag has found something else with the metal detector).
T-Bag: Skipper McKipper's saucy sardines, oh for Pete's sake.
T-Shirt: Your Majesty, your Majesty.
T-Bag: What?
T-Shirt: I've found the spoon.
T-Bag: Give me it.
T-Shirt: I don't have it but I know where it is.
T-Bag: Where?
T-Shirt: It's not here.
T-Bag: Don't tell me where it's not boy, tell me where it is.
T-Shirt: It's in a spaceship, in space, up there.

Added: 04/04/2015

Guaranteed ultra reliable

Stella: I think you'd better get back to charging up your batteries Mr McCannickle, the last thing I need is you packing up on me.
Mr McCannickle: No danger of that Captain, I'm a XL Zero mark 2, guaranteed ultra reliable.

Added: 04/04/2018

Gone to find Donald Duck

Mr McCannickle: Intruder, stop, identify yourself.
T-Bag: Certainly old bean, my name's Minnie Mouse. Squeak, squeak, say you haven't seen my pal Mickey have ya? Gone an' lost him.
Mr McCannickle: Stop where you are, Intruder. Stop, stop where you are. Intruder stop.
Stella: What's going on now?
Mr McCannickle: One of the intruders back again Captain.
Stella: I see.
Mr McCannickle: It was Minnie Mouse Captain.
Stella: Oh, Minnie Mouse.
Mr McCannickle: Aye Captain.
Stella: And what was she doing, looking for Mickey?
Mr McCannickle: That she was, said she'd gone and lost him.
Stella: Oh, and where are they're now do you suppose? Gone to find Donald Duck perhaps.
Mr McCannickle: Could be Captain.
Stella: Oh dear, what a nuisance. You might have chosen a better time than this to go loopy.
Mr McCannickle: But Captain...
Stella: I'm sorry Mr McCannickle until I find out what the fault is I'm deactivating you.
Mr McCannickle: Captain.
Stella: Sorry old buddy. Now how do I get you fixed?
(T-Bag appears via the transporter beam).
T-Bag: Evening all.
Stella: Who are you?
T-Bag: A.B.C. Android Breakdown Company, I understand you have an XL Zero mark 2 broken down.
Stella: I have. How did you know?
T-Bag: All part of the ten thousand year guarantee plan. Oh dear what a sorry sight, excuse me please, now let's see what's what. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, what a mess.
Stella: What's the problem?
T-Bag: Like a dogs dinner in here, don't know if I can fix this.
Stella: Oh please try, I'd be lost without him.
T-Bag: Hand me that tool box would ya?
(T-Bag jams a spanner into the mechanical workings).
T-Bag: Sorry don't need it now, think I've fixed it.
Stella: Oh, that's wonderful.
T-Bag: Switch on.
Mr McCannickle: It's Minnie Mouse...
Stella: Oh dear!
Mr McCannickle:...mouse, mouse...
Stella: Oh no!
Mr McCannickle:...house, louse, scouse, scones, bones, tea, tea, I'm a little teapot short and stout, here's my handle, here's my spout.
T-Bag: Oh what a pity, beyond repair, fit for the scrap heap.
Stella: You're joking.
T-Bag: 'fraid not. You better dump it before it goes completely crazy and wrecks the whole ship.
Stella: Is there no hope?
T-Bag: Nope.
Stella: Oh well what a shame.
T-Bag: Hurry.
Stella: Goodbye old friend, thanks for everything.

Added: 08/12/2013

Skipper McKipper's saucy sardines

Sally: I'm terribly sorry Mr McCannickle but it was the only way I could think of to stop that evil witch. Did it upset you?
Mr McCannickle: Oh not at all lassie, rather good thinking gerh, in fact it rather tickled, hee, hee. Moose, loose, loose.
(They all laugh).
Stella: Oh what's this? Skipper McKipper's saucy sardines. What a treasure, this is priceless. There can't be another like it in the whole galaxy. Oh I'd give anything to have this in my collection.
Sally: Anything? How about that spoon?
Stella: Are you serious?
Sally: I certainly am.
Stella: Huh, fantastic. Alarm off Mr McCannickle.
Mr McCannickle: Alarm deactivated Captain.
(Stella hands Sally the silver spoon).
Stella: Are you sure you're happy with that?
Sally: Happy, I'm over the moon.

Added: 04/04/2025