T-Bag Strikes Again Episode 6: Dick Gherkin

Debbie gets her numbers stolen by Dick Gherkin, a highwayman, on Crackskull common. T-Shirt sees this in T-Bag’s saucer and goes off to play as a highwayman. Debbie reaches a tavern at closing time and Mistress Trueheart says she will help. T-Bag pretends to be rich so she can be robbed by Dick Gherkin but T-Shirt beats Dick to rob T-Bag.
The High-T Website synopsis

Debbie is thrust into the world of highwaymen where she meets Dick Gherkin, who’s really Clarence Trueheart, and the smallest highwayman she’s ever seen.
TV Times listing

A grand life

T-Bag (off screen): I hope you're eating your tea.
T-Shirt: Yes, it's really delicious. Yuck! (he picks up the saucer and sees Dick Gherkin) Cor, who's that?
Dick Gherkin: Ha, ha, it's a Highway man's life for me sure enough. All you have to say is stand and deliver, your money or your life, and all those fancy la-di-da wealthy toffs can't wait to offload their riches on to me, ha! It is a grand life (he laughs).
T-Shirt: I wish I had a grand life.
(T-Bag walks in).
T-Bag: T-Shirt. What are you doing playing with my saucer? Hands off. I need this to find out what little miss loathsome is up to. Eat your tea.

Added: 04/04/2021

Heard all about Dick Gherkin

Mistress Trueheart: What’s all the panic about?
Debbie: I’ve been robbed.
Mistress Trueheart: Robbed!
Debbie: I was walking over Crackskull common.
Mistress Trueheart: Crackskull common?
Debbie: Yes.
Mistress Trueheart: Oh, by heck, what a barmy thing to do at this late hour. And who was it robbed you, as if I didn’t already know?
Debbie: Dick somebody.
Mistress Trueheart: Dick Gherkin?
Debbie: That’s him.
Mistress Trueheart: Surely you’ve heard all about Dick Gherkin?
Debbie: No.
Mistress Trueheart: Everybody’s heard of the most daring, the most infamous, the most celebrated highwayman this side of Dead Dog hill.

A bit of get up and go

Mistress Trueheart: This is my son, the constable of the watch, would you'd believe. Now you tell him all about it and he'll write it down. You've got a pencil and paper son have you?
Clarence Trueheart: Yes mother.
Mistress Trueheart: Go on, you tell him love, exactly how it happened. Clarence?
Clarence Trueheart: Pencil's broken.
Mistress Trueheart: Oh flaming Nora, it's pathetic. Why couldn't my son have been like Dick Gherkin. At least he's got a bit of get up and go.
Debbie: Yes, he got up and went with my silver numbers. Oh it's not fair.
Mistress Trueheart: Oh, there, there, now, that's enough for one night. You look dog tired, now come with me and I'll find you a nice little room upstairs. It'll all look different in the morning.
Debbie: You're very kind.
Mistress Trueheart: Clarence, it's bedtime.
Clarence Trueheart: Yes mother.

Added: 04/04/2014

To set a trap to catch a Gherkin

T-Shirt: Ugh, that was horrible.
T-Bag: Right, now you can clean your teeth and go to bed.
T-Shirt: It's too early, I'm not tired.
T-Bag: You'll do as I say, I won't have you questioning my every word.
T-Shirt: But I'm not...
T-Bag: I'm off to snatch those numbers back from Dick Gherkin and when I get back here I want to find you fast asleep.
T-Shirt: Couldn't I come as well?
T-Bag: Don't argue with me T-Shirt. Pyjamas. (T-Bag uses her magic so T-Shirt is wearing his pyjamas) Now go to bed.
T-Shirt: Ha, I bet Dick Gherkin doesn't get sent to bed so early.
T-Bag: Bed!
T-Shirt: Couldn't I just...
T-Bag: Bed! (T-Shirt leaves) Be the death of me that boy. Right, back to business. Now to set a trap to catch a Gherkin. Surely there must be somebody in the story who knows his whereabouts, the question is who? I'll just have to ask around, I know, I'll start at that ridiculous tavern. Ooh, I have an idea (T-Bag uses her magic an a big bag of money appears). This ought to lure him out of the woodwork. This and a very cunning disguise should fool him completely.

Added: 04/04/2015

Stand and deliver, your money or your life

T-Shirt: Cor, what a great place to play at highwayman, and it's dastardly Dick T-Shirt, the scourge of Crackskull Common. (In Dick Gherkin voice) Stand and deliver, your money or your life (laughs). Stand and deliver, your money or your life (laughs).
T-Bag: Where is he then, this Dick Gherkin? Does he want my money or what? Oh dear, oh dear, this huge sack full of gold coins is so incredibly heavy I can hardly carry it another step. That's the trouble with being so stinking rich. Cake crumbs and crumpets, where is he? I haven't time to stand about waiting for... (Dick Gherkin laughs) It's him!
Dick Gherkin: Stand and deliver, your money or your life.
T-Bag: Oh woe is me, save our souls, oh dear. Alright, alright, take it, take the money, all of it. Only please, please don't harm me. Here, here you are.
(T-Bag runs off)
T-Shirt: Who was that?
(T-Shirt leaves and T-Bag sneaks back)
T-Bag: Now to follow him back to his secret lair.
Dick Gherkin: Stand and deliver...
T-Bag: Aaarrrggghhhh!
Dick Gherkin:... your money or your life.
T-Bag: What the?
Dick Gherkin: Get your hands up, well go on and no funny business.
T-Bag: What's your game?
Dick Gherkin: Stand and deliver, you heard.
T-Bag: Who the dickens are you?
Dick Gherkin: Well who do you think I am? I'm Dick Gherkin, I rob from the rich and I give to the poor and you look pretty dashed rich to me. Your money or your life Madam.
T-Bag: Shortcake and sugarcubes I've just given it to you.
Dick Gherkin: What did you say?
T-Bag: I said, I've just given you my money, all of it, the whole bag full.
Dick Gherkin: No you didn't.
T-Bag: I did.
Dick Gherkin: When?
T-Bag: Just now, when you were hiding in the bushes.
Dick Gherkin: Tell me more.
T-Bag: Look, I was standing here, you were standing over here. I threw down the money at your feet. You picked up the bag, I came back over here, then I... well where is he? Dick? Dick Gherkin? I don't believe this.

Added: 04/04/2016

He's not much cop

Mistress Trueheart: Aren't you asleep yet?
Debbie: Oh I can't sleep for worrying about my silver numbers.
Mistress Trueheart: Oh you poor little thing. Here, and guess what, there's been another robbery on the common this very night.
Debbie: Oh this is ridiculous. Why doesn't your son do something about it?
Mistress Trueheart: Oh, he never was cut out to be a hero was Clarence. Well he's a good boy really. He's got a heart of gold you know. But the truth is when it comes to being Constable, he's not much cop.
Debbie: Well I can't wait around here and do nothing can I?
Mistress Trueheart: What are you up to?
Debbie: I'm gonna find this Dick Gherkin and get my numbers back.
Mistress Trueheart: Are you heck as like at this late hour.
Debbie: Well I've got to do something.
Mistress Trueheart: Oh alright, but I'm coming with you. We'll find your precious numbers lass, don't you fret.

Added: 04/04/2014