T-Bag Strikes Again Episode 6: Dick Gherkin

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UK Air Date24/09/1986, 4.20pm
Repeat Screening11/05/1988, 4.20pm
Copyright YearMCMLXXXVI (1986)
VTR Date23/08/1985
Fremantle Archive Ref33212 (series ref)
Consecutive Episode Number16
IMDB LinkEpisode page

T. Bag (Tallulah Bag)Elizabeth Estensen
T. ShirtJohn Hasler
DebbieJennie Stallwood
Dick Gherkin/
Clarence Trueheart
Aaron Shirley
Mistress TrueheartAnita Elias

Make UpJann Marshall
Costume DesignerRaymond Childe
Graphic DesignerAlex Forbes
Stage ManagerBobby Webber
Production AssistantPat Lees
Song ByTerry Trower
Written ByLee Pressman
Grant Cathro
DesignerJohn Plant
Executive ProducerMarjorie Sigley
ProducersCharles Warren
Leon Thau
DirectorLeon Thau

Debbie gets her numbers stolen by Dick Gherkin, a highwayman, on Crackskull common. T-Shirt sees this in T-Bagís saucer and goes off to play as a highwayman. Debbie reaches a tavern at closing time and Mistress Trueheart says she will help. T-Bag pretends to be rich so she can be robbed by Dick Gherkin but T-Shirt beats Dick to rob T-Bag.
The High-T Website synopsis
Debbie is thrust into the world of highwaymen where she meets Dick Gherkin, whoís really Clarence Trueheart, and the smallest highwayman sheís ever seen.
TV Times listing

If you would like to contribute your favourite/funniest etc quotes from this episode please contact me.

A grand life

T-Bag (off screen): I hope you're eating your tea.
T-Shirt: Yes, it's really delicious. Yuck! (he picks up the saucer and sees Dick Gherkin) Cor, who's that?
Dick Gherkin: Ha, ha, it's a Highway man's life for me sure enough. All you have to say is stand and deliver, your money or your life, and all those fancy la-di-da wealthy toffs can't wait to offload their riches on to me, ha! It is a grand life (he laughs).
T-Shirt: I wish I had a grand life.
(T-Bag walks in).
T-Bag: T-Shirt. What are you doing playing with my saucer? Hands off. I need this to find out what little miss loathsome is up to. Eat your tea.

Added: 04/04/2021

Heard all about Dick Gherkin

Mistress Trueheart: Whatís all the panic about?
Debbie: Iíve been robbed.
Mistress Trueheart: Robbed!
Debbie: I was walking over Crackskull common.
Mistress Trueheart: Crackskull common?
Debbie: Yes.
Mistress Trueheart: Oh, by heck, what a barmy thing to do at this late hour. And who was it robbed you, as if I didnít already know?
Debbie: Dick somebody.
Mistress Trueheart: Dick Gherkin?
Debbie: Thatís him.
Mistress Trueheart: Surely youíve heard all about Dick Gherkin?
Debbie: No.
Mistress Trueheart: Everybodyís heard of the most daring, the most infamous, the most celebrated highwayman this side of Dead Dog hill.

A bit of get up and go

Mistress Trueheart: This is my son, the constable of the watch, would you'd believe. Now you tell him all about it and he'll write it down. You've got a pencil and paper son have you?
Clarence Trueheart: Yes mother.
Mistress Trueheart: Go on, you tell him love, exactly how it happened. Clarence?
Clarence Trueheart: Pencil's broken.
Mistress Trueheart: Oh flaming Nora, it's pathetic. Why couldn't my son have been like Dick Gherkin. At least he's got a bit of get up and go.
Debbie: Yes, he got up and went with my silver numbers. Oh it's not fair.
Mistress Trueheart: Oh, there, there, now, that's enough for one night. You look dog tired, now come with me and I'll find you a nice little room upstairs. It'll all look different in the morning.
Debbie: You're very kind.
Mistress Trueheart: Clarence, it's bedtime.
Clarence Trueheart: Yes mother.

Added: 04/04/2014

To set a trap to catch a Gherkin

T-Shirt: Ugh, that was horrible.
T-Bag: Right, now you can clean your teeth and go to bed.
T-Shirt: It's too early, I'm not tired.
T-Bag: You'll do as I say, I won't have you questioning my every word.
T-Shirt: But I'm not...
T-Bag: I'm off to snatch those numbers back from Dick Gherkin and when I get back here I want to find you fast asleep.
T-Shirt: Couldn't I come as well?
T-Bag: Don't argue with me T-Shirt. Pyjamas. (T-Bag uses her magic so T-Shirt is wearing his pyjamas) Now go to bed.
T-Shirt: Ha, I bet Dick Gherkin doesn't get sent to bed so early.
T-Bag: Bed!
T-Shirt: Couldn't I just...
T-Bag: Bed! (T-Shirt leaves) Be the death of me that boy. Right, back to business. Now to set a trap to catch a Gherkin. Surely there must be somebody in the story who knows his whereabouts, the question is who? I'll just have to ask around, I know, I'll start at that ridiculous tavern. Ooh, I have an idea (T-Bag uses her magic an a big bag of money appears). This ought to lure him out of the woodwork. This and a very cunning disguise should fool him completely.

Added: 04/04/2015

Stand and deliver, your money or your life

T-Shirt: Cor, what a great place to play at highwayman, and it's dastardly Dick T-Shirt, the scourge of Crackskull Common. (In Dick Gherkin voice) Stand and deliver, your money or your life (laughs). Stand and deliver, your money or your life (laughs).
T-Bag: Where is he then, this Dick Gherkin? Does he want my money or what? Oh dear, oh dear, this huge sack full of gold coins is so incredibly heavy I can hardly carry it another step. That's the trouble with being so stinking rich. Cake crumbs and crumpets, where is he? I haven't time to stand about waiting for... (Dick Gherkin laughs) It's him!
Dick Gherkin: Stand and deliver, your money or your life.
T-Bag: Oh woe is me, save our souls, oh dear. Alright, alright, take it, take the money, all of it. Only please, please don't harm me. Here, here you are.
(T-Bag runs off)
T-Shirt: Who was that?
(T-Shirt leaves and T-Bag sneaks back)
T-Bag: Now to follow him back to his secret lair.
Dick Gherkin: Stand and deliver...
T-Bag: Aaarrrggghhhh!
Dick Gherkin:... your money or your life.
T-Bag: What the?
Dick Gherkin: Get your hands up, well go on and no funny business.
T-Bag: What's your game?
Dick Gherkin: Stand and deliver, you heard.
T-Bag: Who the dickens are you?
Dick Gherkin: Well who do you think I am? I'm Dick Gherkin, I rob from the rich and I give to the poor and you look pretty dashed rich to me. Your money or your life Madam.
T-Bag: Shortcake and sugarcubes I've just given it to you.
Dick Gherkin: What did you say?
T-Bag: I said, I've just given you my money, all of it, the whole bag full.
Dick Gherkin: No you didn't.
T-Bag: I did.
Dick Gherkin: When?
T-Bag: Just now, when you were hiding in the bushes.
Dick Gherkin: Tell me more.
T-Bag: Look, I was standing here, you were standing over here. I threw down the money at your feet. You picked up the bag, I came back over here, then I... well where is he? Dick? Dick Gherkin? I don't believe this.

Added: 04/04/2016

He's not much cop

Mistress Trueheart: Aren't you asleep yet?
Debbie: Oh I can't sleep for worrying about my silver numbers.
Mistress Trueheart: Oh you poor little thing. Here, and guess what, there's been another robbery on the common this very night.
Debbie: Oh this is ridiculous. Why doesn't your son do something about it?
Mistress Trueheart: Oh, he never was cut out to be a hero was Clarence. Well he's a good boy really. He's got a heart of gold you know. But the truth is when it comes to being Constable, he's not much cop.
Debbie: Well I can't wait around here and do nothing can I?
Mistress Trueheart: What are you up to?
Debbie: I'm gonna find this Dick Gherkin and get my numbers back.
Mistress Trueheart: Are you heck as like at this late hour.
Debbie: Well I've got to do something.
Mistress Trueheart: Oh alright, but I'm coming with you. We'll find your precious numbers lass, don't you fret.

Added: 04/04/2014

"A description... of a boom-mic"
At the very end of the episode once Debbie has snuck off without T-Bag noticing, just before Clarence asks for a description of the missing person he says 'Right-O mother', at the top-right corner of the screen a boom-mic drops into view.

For more mistakes from other episodes, please see the Nitpicker's Guide

  • During the repeat screening of this series, this episode was aired before episode five.
  • Aaron Shirley, who played Dick Gherkin/Clarence Trueheart, sadly passed away on 5th May 2014, aged 59.

  • Tabatha Bag pretends to be rich woman to be robbed by a thief in T. Bag and The Rings of Olympus.
    (T. Bag and The Rings of Olympus, Episode 4: Rum Barbara)
  • The plot of having a duel-identity character, this time of Dick Gherkin and Clarence Trueheart, was used again in episodes from subsequent series.
    (Turn on to T-Bag, Episode 7: The Two Musketeers)
    (T. Bag and The Rings of Olympus, Episode 4: Rum Barbara)
  • Dead Dog Hill, as mentioned by Mistress Trueheart, is also referred to by other characters in other series.
    (T. Bag and The Pearls of Wisdom, Episode 2: High Noon)
    (T. Bag and The Rings of Olympus, Episode 7: Rats)
  • Debbie gets the silver numbers stolen by the highwayman Dick Gherkin, this also happens in other episodes.
    (Wonders in Letterland, Episode 6: Debbie In The Land Of R)
    (T-Bag Bounces Back, Episode 6: Hi-Hat)
    (T-Bag Bounces Back, Episode 9: Nikdit The Thief)
    (Turn on to T-Bag, Episode 6: Scrimp)
    (Turn on to T-Bag, Episode 9: Doc Leaf)
    (T. Bag and The Pearls of Wisdom, Episode 4: Grimble and Squiffy)
    (T. Bag and The Pearls of Wisdom, Episode 8: Cedric Sackbutt's Search For A Song)
    (T. Bag and The Rings of Olympus, Episode 4: Rum Barbara)
    (T. Bag and The Rings of Olympus, Episode 7: Rats)
    (T. Bag and The Sunstones of Montezuma, Episode 4: Gone Fishing)
  • Aaron Shirley who plays Dick Gherkin/Clarence Trueheart featured in the cast of the children's programme Words Words Words, where Lee Pressman and Grant Cathro met. Other cast members from Words Words Words would appear in episodes of T-Bag.
    (T-Bag Strikes Again, Episode 2: One, Two Buckle My Shoe)
    (T. Bag and The Revenge of the T. Set, Episode 3: Lost In Space)