T-Bag Strikes Again Episode 7: Long John Sylvia

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UK Air Date08/10/1986, 4.20pm
Repeat Screening18/05/1988, 4.20pm
Copyright YearMCMLXXXVI (1986)
Fremantle Archive Ref33212 (series ref)
Runtime00:20:15:01
Consecutive Episode Number17
IMDB LinkEpisode page

T. Bag (Tallulah Bag)Elizabeth Estensen
T. ShirtJohn Hasler
DebbieJennie Stallwood
Long John SylviaJan Hunt
Jack PluggRonnie Brody

Make UpLesley Sanders
Costume DesignerRaymond Childe
Graphic DesignerAlex Forbes
Stage ManagerBobby Webber
Production AssistantPat Lees
Song ByTerry Trower
Written ByLee Pressman
Grant Cathro
DesignerJohn Plant
Executive ProducerMarjorie Sigley
ProducersCharles Warren
Leon Thau
DirectorLeon Thau

On a pirate radio station ship, Radio Riff Raff, Long John Sylvia and Jack Plugg are waiting for a guest singer. When Jack goes to shore he sees Debbie and thinks she is the guest singer so he takes her with him. T-Shirt goes on holiday and T-Bag goes to the ship to sing where she finds the silver number 7 and she casts it into the sea.
The High-T Website synopsis

If you would like to contribute your favourite/funniest etc quotes from this episode please contact me.

Splishy wave, splashy wave, sploshy waves

Long John Sylvia: Ah ship-mates, we be broadcasting live from somewhere in the seven seas, ah that we be, transmitting on long wave, short wave, splishy wave, splashy wave, sploshy waves, any old waves you want me hearties, ah. Now then, be patient, this morning's guest singer will be with us any minute now. Where is she?
Jack Plugg: How should I know?
Long John Sylvia: Oh, isn't it marvellous. Ah me hearties, don't go away, this be jolly old Radio Riff Raff. (In song) If you're down in the mouth and your heart has sank and you're feeling like going out and walking the plank. Then you're much too down in the dumps by half so stay with jolly old Radio Riff Raff (song ends). Your local, focal, very vocal wonderful Radio Riff Raff, Pirate Radio at it's best and now for another record. Jack.
Jack Plugg: Ah uh (he drops and breaks all the records).
Long John Sylvia: Another record. Well since we all enjoyed that last record so much we'll hear it one more time. Oh great.
Jack Plugg: Sorry.
Long John Sylvia: I can't keep playing the same record over and over again. Where on earth is our guest singer then?
Jack Plugg: I don't know where she is do I? You booked her, she's your friend.
Long John Sylvia: She's not my friend. I never even clapped eyes on her, I just booked a guest singer and that's exactly what we need here right now, somebody to come and sing a few good numbers.
Jack Plugg: A good few numbers yeah.
Long John Sylvia: Oh Jack, Jack, take the boat, go ashore and see if you can't find her.
Jack Plugg: Aye aye Captain.
Long John Sylvia: Ohhhhhh.

Updated: 06/06/2015

Don't make my headache any worse

(The radio is playing some loud music).
T-Shirt: Better?
T-Bag: No, switch that horrible thing off.
T-Shirt: I like it.
T-Bag: Off. (T-Shirt switches the radio off) I have other things on my mind. What's fidgety freckle-face up to now?
T-Shirt: You mean Debbie?
T-Bag: Oh please! Don't make my headache any worse than it is already! (Sees Debbie in the saucer) Oh, T-riffic, she doesn't seem to be having much luck at the moment, look at her glum little face. Oh what's the matter Deborah, can't you find the silver-wilver number eh? Oh, how pleasant to see her so down in the mouth. Almost makes me feel a smidgen better, huh, almost.
T-Shirt: Just relax, stop worrying.
T-Bag: I think I will. (T-Shirt switches the radio back on) Switch it off!

Added: 04/04/2014

To my good friend T-Shirt, love Debbie

T-Shirt: Ah, this is the life.
Debbie: Thanks then Jack, be seeing you, bye.
T-Shirt: Debbie.
Debbie: T-Shirt, what are you doing here?
T-Shirt: I'm on holiday.
Debbie: Oh yes.
T-Shirt: I am, come and join me, have a deckchair.
(T-Shirt uses his magic and makes a deckchair and table appear).
T-Shirt: Sit down, it won't bite you. Orange juice?
(T-Shirt uses his magic and makes an orange juice drink appear).
T-Shirt: Drink up, it's not poison.
Debbie: Hmm. You're being awfully kind all of a sudden.
T-Shirt: Did I hear you singing on the radio?
Debbie: Yes.
T-Shirt: I knew it was you, you were brilliant.
Debbie: Thank you.
T-Shirt: Can I have your autograph?
(T-Shirt uses his magic and makes a pad and pen appear).
Debbie: This isn't some kind of T-Bag trick is it?
T-Shirt: Course not. To tell you the truth, I'm getting fed up with her.
Debbie: Alright then, what do you want me to write?
T-Shirt: Erm, to my good friend T-Shirt, love Debbie.
Debbie: Do you really want me to be your friend?
(T-Shirt nods his head).
Debbie: Why? Why do you?
(T-Shirt shrugs his shoulders).
Debbie: Don't you have any other friends?
(T-Shirt shakes his head).
Debbie: Oh alright then.
T-Shirt: Great.

Added: 04/04/2015

The downfall of that ghastly girl

T-Bag: Look at yourself, call yourself a T-Caddy, ha!
T-Shirt: But you said I could have a holiday.
T-Bag: Balderdash, you're a disgrace to the T-Set and what's all this rubbish about your being friends with that hateful Deborah?
T-Shirt: I like her, look, she gave me this, (T-Shirt reads out Debbie's autograph) to my good friend T-Shirt, love Debbie.
(T-Bag scrunches up the paper and throws it away).
T-Bag: Go and change and then make me a cup of tea, I want to celebrate the downfall of that ghastly girl.

Added: 04/04/2017

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For more mistakes from other episodes, please see the Nitpicker's Guide

  • The character of Jack Plugg is a play on words for 'Jack' and 'Plug'.
  • Ronnie Brody, who played Jack Plugg, sadly passed away on 8th May 1991, aged 72.

  • Jan Hunt, who plays Long John Sylvia, appears in three episodes throughout the nine series of T-Bag. This is her first of her three appearances.
    (T-Bag Bounces Back, Episode 4: Black Hearted Belle)
    (T. Bag and The Pearls of Wisdom, Episode 8: Cedric Sackbutt's Search For A Song)
  • The multi-coloured dress worn by Long John Sylvia was reused in three subsequent episodes, worn by Mrs Merry, Rum Barbara and can also be spotted in T. Bag and The Revenge of The T. Set when T. Bag steals the spoons from Sally near the end of the episode.
    (T-Bag Bounces Back, Episode 4: Black Hearted Belle)
    (T. Bag and The Revenge of the T. Set, Episode 9: The Bard)
    (T. Bag and The Rings of Olympus, Episode 4: Rum Barbara)
  • The episode plot of Debbie relaxing with T-Shirt, the setting of a pirate radio station and T-Bag singing for the station thus breaking the microphone was used again in T. Bag and The Sunstones of Montezuma.
    (T. Bag and The Sunstones of Montezuma, Episode 5: Hippies)