T-Bag Strikes Again Episode 7: Long John Sylvia

On a pirate radio station ship, Radio Riff Raff, Long John Sylvia and Jack Plugg are waiting for a guest singer. When Jack goes to shore he sees Debbie and thinks she is the guest singer so he takes her with him. T-Shirt goes on holiday and T-Bag goes to the ship to sing where she finds the silver number 7 and she casts it into the sea.
The High-T Website synopsis

Splishy wave, splashy wave, sploshy waves

Long John Sylvia: Ah ship-mates, we be broadcasting live from somewhere in the seven seas, ah that we be, transmitting on long wave, short wave, splishy wave, splashy wave, sploshy waves, any old waves you want me hearties, ah. Now then, be patient, this morning's guest singer will be with us any minute now. Where is she?
Jack Plugg: How should I know?
Long John Sylvia: Oh, isn't it marvellous. Ah me hearties, don't go away, this be jolly old Radio Riff Raff. (In song) If you're down in the mouth and your heart has sank and you're feeling like going out and walking the plank. Then you're much too down in the dumps by half so stay with jolly old Radio Riff Raff (song ends). Your local, focal, very vocal wonderful Radio Riff Raff, Pirate Radio at it's best and now for another record. Jack.
Jack Plugg: Ah uh (he drops and breaks all the records).
Long John Sylvia: Another record. Well since we all enjoyed that last record so much we'll hear it one more time. Oh great.
Jack Plugg: Sorry.
Long John Sylvia: I can't keep playing the same record over and over again. Where on earth is our guest singer then?
Jack Plugg: I don't know where she is do I? You booked her, she's your friend.
Long John Sylvia: She's not my friend. I never even clapped eyes on her, I just booked a guest singer and that's exactly what we need here right now, somebody to come and sing a few good numbers.
Jack Plugg: A good few numbers yeah.
Long John Sylvia: Oh Jack, Jack, take the boat, go ashore and see if you can't find her.
Jack Plugg: Aye aye Captain.
Long John Sylvia: Ohhhhhh.

Updated: 06/06/2015

Don't make my headache any worse

(The radio is playing some loud music).
T-Shirt: Better?
T-Bag: No, switch that horrible thing off.
T-Shirt: I like it.
T-Bag: Off. (T-Shirt switches the radio off) I have other things on my mind. What's fidgety freckle-face up to now?
T-Shirt: You mean Debbie?
T-Bag: Oh please! Don't make my headache any worse than it is already! (Sees Debbie in the saucer) Oh, T-riffic, she doesn't seem to be having much luck at the moment, look at her glum little face. Oh what's the matter Deborah, can't you find the silver-wilver number eh? Oh, how pleasant to see her so down in the mouth. Almost makes me feel a smidgen better, huh, almost.
T-Shirt: Just relax, stop worrying.
T-Bag: I think I will. (T-Shirt switches the radio back on) Switch it off!

Added: 04/04/2014

Singing songs on the radio

T-Bag: Ooh my head, my head, my head. Oh stop sulking boy.
T-Shirt: That was Debbie. Debbie was on the radio, she was great, I think she's smashing.
T-Bag: Debbie, a, on the radio, a. Are you deliberately try to wind me up boy?
T-Shirt: No.
T-Bag: Are you deliberately try to aggravate me?
T-Shirt: It was her I'm telling you, honest.
T-Bag: Rubbish! You're hearing things.
T-Shirt: I'm not.
T-Bag: I say you are. Why would Miss Smartypants waste her time singing songs on the radio? Talk sense boy.
T-Shirt: I'm sure it was her.
T-Bag: Well you're wrong, it wasn't. You're imagining things.
T-Shirt: Am I?
T-Bag: Yes!
T-Shirt: Well it's no wonder if I am, the way you overwork me.
T-Bag: Whaaaat?
T-Shirt: Every other day it's cup of tea T-Shirt, do this T-Shirt, do that T-Shirt. T-Shirt go there, T-Shirt come here. T-Shirt, T-Shirt, T-Shirt.
T-Bag: Have you quite finished?
T-Shirt: Well it's not fair, I never get a rest, I never get a break and I never get a holiday.
T-Bag: Ha, holiday, holiday!? I'll give you a holiday!
(T-Bag walks off).
T-Shirt: You'll give me a holiday! Great, thanks.
(T-Shirt picked up the radio, uses his magic and disappears).

Added: 04/04/2019

To my good friend T-Shirt, love Debbie

T-Shirt: Ah, this is the life.
Debbie: Thanks then Jack, be seeing you, bye.
T-Shirt: Debbie.
Debbie: T-Shirt, what are you doing here?
T-Shirt: I'm on holiday.
Debbie: Oh yes.
T-Shirt: I am, come and join me, have a deckchair.
(T-Shirt uses his magic and makes a deckchair and table appear).
T-Shirt: Sit down, it won't bite you. Orange juice?
(T-Shirt uses his magic and makes an orange juice drink appear).
T-Shirt: Drink up, it's not poison.
Debbie: Hmm. You're being awfully kind all of a sudden.
T-Shirt: Did I hear you singing on the radio?
Debbie: Yes.
T-Shirt: I knew it was you, you were brilliant.
Debbie: Thank you.
T-Shirt: Can I have your autograph?
(T-Shirt uses his magic and makes a pad and pen appear).
Debbie: This isn't some kind of T-Bag trick is it?
T-Shirt: Course not. To tell you the truth, I'm getting fed up with her.
Debbie: Alright then, what do you want me to write?
T-Shirt: Erm, to my good friend T-Shirt, love Debbie.
Debbie: Do you really want me to be your friend?
(T-Shirt nods his head).
Debbie: Why? Why do you?
(T-Shirt shrugs his shoulders).
Debbie: Don't you have any other friends?
(T-Shirt shakes his head).
Debbie: Oh alright then.
T-Shirt: Great.

Added: 04/04/2015

The downfall of that ghastly girl

T-Bag: Look at yourself, call yourself a T-Caddy, ha!
T-Shirt: But you said I could have a holiday.
T-Bag: Balderdash, you're a disgrace to the T-Set and what's all this rubbish about your being friends with that hateful Deborah?
T-Shirt: I like her, look, she gave me this, (T-Shirt reads out Debbie's autograph) to my good friend T-Shirt, love Debbie.
(T-Bag scrunches up the paper and throws it away).
T-Bag: Go and change and then make me a cup of tea, I want to celebrate the downfall of that ghastly girl.

Added: 04/04/2017

What a piece of fish

Jack Plugg: Ta-dah!
Long John Sylvia: Supper is served.
Jack Plugg: For you Ma'am.
Long John Sylvia: Oh, fish and chips.
Jack Plugg: Freshly caught, the fish that is not the chips.
Long John Sylvia: There you go, ah.
Debbie: I don't know if I'm really hungry but seeing as you've gone to all the bother. Very nice.
Long John Sylvia: Mmm-mm.
Jack Plugg: Try the fish.
Debbie: Well that's funny.
Long John Sylvia: What's the matter?
Debbie: There's something hard in this fish.
Jack Plugg: Eh?
Long John Sylvia: Oh it's just a piece of bone.
Debbie: No. (Cuts into the fish) Ah, it's the silver number seven.
Jack Plugg: Glory be.
Long John Sylvia: Well I never.
Debbie: The fish must have swallowed it when it got thrown into the sea.
Jack Plugg: That's right and I caught it.
Long John Sylvia: And here it is now.
Debbie: And I've got it. What a piece of luck.
Jack Plugg: What a piece of fish.
Long John Sylvia: Oh.
(Jack and Sylvia laugh).

Added: 04/04/2022