Turn On To T-Bag Episode 4: Bubble Boy

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Episode 1Sparkes
Episode 2Gangsters
Episode 3Yeti
Episode 4Bubble Boy
Episode 5Pyramids
Episode 6Scrimp
Episode 7The Two Musketeers
Episode 8The African Queen
Episode 9Doc Leaf
Episode 10Turn On To T-Bag

UK Air Date26/01/1988, 4.20pm
Repeat Screening31/07/1990, 4.00pm
Copyright YearMCMLXXXVII (1987)
VTR Date09/09/1987
Fremantle Archive Ref37939 (series ref)
Consecutive Episode Number34
IMDB LinkEpisode page

T. Bag (Tallulah Bag)Elizabeth Estensen
T. ShirtJohn Hasler
Holly Anna JonesDiana Barrand
KrystleLois Baxter
J.R.Colin Bennett

Make UpJan Marshall
Costume DesignerRaymond Childe
Graphic DesignerAlex Forbes
Stage ManagerBobby Webber
Production AssistantBarbara Mitchell
Songs ByTerry Trower
Written ByLee Pressman
Grant Cathro
DesignerJohn Plant
Executive ProducerCharles Warren
Producer/DirectorLeon Thau

J.R. forgets his wife’s, Krystle, birthday because he is busy preparing a commercial for Sudd’s soap. When his bubble boy for the commercial doesn’t show up T-Shirt replaces him to try to get the next crystal on the ring for Krystle’s birthday. When T-Shirt vanishes Holly replaces him.
The High-T Website synopsis
Holly arrives in Texas and meets two people who seem very familiar, a soap tycoon and his beautiful Krystle. She is going to have a birthday party and the young star of his soap advertisement has gone missing. Both T-Shirt and Holly come to the rescue with a jingle or two, much to the annoyance of T-Bag who is getting desperate about stopping Holly getting another crystal.
TV Times listing
Holly arrives in Texas and meets two people who seem very familiar.
Lookin listing

A Girl To Help Out

Sudds Soap

Friends of P.J.

Birthday Presents

For more images see the Image Galleries

If you would like to contribute your favourite/funniest etc quotes from this episode please contact me.

I had a bath last week

T-Bag: T-Shirt. T-Shirt.
T-Shirt (Off screen): What?
T-Bag: I'm not telling you again, get up now.
(T-Shirt walks in).
T-Shirt: What are you dragging me out of bed at this time for eh?
T-Bag: Good morning Rip Van Winkle, up at the crack of noon as usual.
T-Shirt: I'm going back to sleep.
T-Bag: You're doing nothing of the no-such which. There's a lot to be done today, that horrible Holly has got to be stopped.
T-Shirt: Ah breakfast.
T-Bag: Sorry you're too late. Breakfast is over. Now go and have your bath.
T-Shirt: Bath? I had a bath last week.
T-Bag: Precisely now get in there and don't be long I want one after you.
T-Shirt: But I don't want a...
T-Bag: Bath.

Added: 04/04/2019

You've forgotten my birthday

Krystle: Eat some breakfast J.R. You can't go to work on an empty stomach.
J.R: Hmm.
Krystle: J.R.
J.R: What's that dear.
Krystle: You've been up half the night scrubbing away on that thing. Stop and have some breakfast.
J.R: I can't stop Krystle dear, it's, I've got to finish writing this jingle.
Krystle: Why J.R. Sudd, all you ever do is work, work, work, work, work.
J.R: Look, this commercial has to be in the can by four o'clock 'cause that's when it's being transmitted.
Krystle: So what?
J.R: So, if this Bubble boy campaign catches on, everyone'll be out to buy Sudd's soap and we'll be even richer and that is so what.
Krystle: You spend so much time on that stuff I'll bet you've even forgot what day it is.
J.R: Hmm, what about this? I'm the Bubble Boy kid, I'm clean and neat, from the top of my head to the soles of my feet. Hmm, so far so good.
Krystle: I'll bet you've forgotten all about it.
J.R: Now no-one makes soap like Sudds.
Krystle: You have, haven't you?
J.R: Sudds? Now what rhymes with Sudd?
Krystle: Mud.
J.R: No-one makes soap like Sudds, that's why I use mud. No doubt, that's no good at all.
Krystle: J.R. you've forgotten my birthday haven't you?
J.R: What birthday?
Krystle: I knew it, I knew it.
J.R: Ohhh, I haven't forgotten your bir... how could I forget your birthday? Hmm, Happy Birthday.
Krystle: You did forget.
J.R: No I didn't.
Krystle: Where's my present then?
J.R: Present, ah. oh, now, uh, darn it, I left it at work.
Krystle: Work!
J.R: Wait 'til you see it, oh you'll love it.
Krystle: What is it?
J.R: It is a surprise. I'm going to give it to you right after we've finished doing the Bubble Boy commercial.
Krystle: Blow the Bubble Boy, just you be home in time for the dinner party tonight.
J.R: What dinner party?
Krystle: Oh I don't believe this.
J.R: Oh you mean the dinner party.
Krystle: I hope you haven't forgotten to book a girl to help out.
J.R: Ohhhh, darn it, hasn't she turned up? Isn't that typical, now you just can't trust anybody. Oh look at the time, I'm sorry sweetness, I've got to dash.
Krystle: Don't you be late now.
(Krystle goes inside and Holly appears).
J.R: Ahhh!
Holly: Ooh.
J.R: I'm sorry I'm in a bit of a hurry.
Holly: I wondered if you could help me.
J.R: What?
Holly: It'll only take a second.
J.R: Oh alright but just be quick, I've got to go.
Holly: I'm looking for a crystal.
J.R: Oh Krystle, sure, right inside.
Holly: Great.
J.R: Er, are you who I think you are?
Holly: I don't know.
J.R: Well now sure you are. Well you now stay here, my wife will be right out, she'll tell you what to do, I got to fly.
Holly: Thanks a lot.
J.R: No thank you. You know, I must have ordered that girl after all. Huuuurhh, my memory's getting worse by the day.
Holly: I can't believe my luck. This will be the fourth crystal, soon I'll get the fifth and... Look out T-Bag!

Added: 04/04/2015

I've lost the soap

T-Bag: How long can it take to have a bath? Haven't you finished yet?
T-Shirt (off screen): I've lost the soap.
T-Bag: Oh for crying out loud, get out of there! The whole morning's slipping away and we've done sweet tickity-boo about getting rid of the hateful Holly. It's not good enough. Me stuck out here waiting for my bath and you're fooling around in there. (Mimicking T-Shirt) 'I've lost the soap.' Stupid boy, out of my way.
T-Shirt: It could have dropped onto the floor, I suppose.
T-Bag (off screen): Aaarrggghhh!
T-Shirt: You found it then.

Added: 04/04/2013

PJ from LA

Krystle: My heavens, what is going on?
T-Bag: Well, hello.
Krystle: Who are you?
T-Bag: Who are we? (to T-Shirt) Who are we?
T-Shirt: I don't know, who are we?
Krystle: Yes, JR never mentioned you.
T-Shirt: JR? Oh, yes. I'm TS, Ma'am.
Krystle: TS?
T-Shirt: I'm a friend of PJ.
T-Bag: Good old PJ.
Krystle: PJ?
T-Bag: PJ from NBC?
Krystle: Oh, I see.
T-Bag: No, NBC. You must know PJ from LA.
Krystle: Sure.

Added: 04/04/2012

Typical isn't it?

T-Bag: So you see, at the AGM, ER said OK to FB, got in his MG and went AWOL with a VIP from the UN. Typical isn't it?
Krystle: Yeah, typical.
T-Shirt: That's why we're here.
Krystle: Oh, why don't you sit down and make yourself at home. In fact you are just in time to watch my Husband's new soap commercial on the TV.
T-Shirt: Soap commercial?
Krystle: You'll just adore this, and it was me that discovered the star of the show, she's so cute, you'll just adore her.
Holly (heard on TV as the Bubble Girl Kid): La la la la la la la la la. La la la la la la la la la. I'm the Bubble Girl Kid; I'm clean and neat, from the top of my head to the soles of my feet...
T-Bag: Figs and fairycakes, what is going on here?
Krystle: Isn't she just too divine?
T-Shirt: Wherever Holly is the crystal is. Told you it wasn't here didn't I? It's in the TV studio like I said.
T-Bag: What are we hanging around here for then? You (to Krystle) you're coming with us.
Krystle: I am?

Added: 04/04/2012

I'm all washed up

J.R: Oh, bravo, magnificent, fantastic.
Holly: Thank you. I'll just go and get changed.
J.R: Oh well, that's one problem solved. Now what's next? Oh-p yep, the birthday, coo-wee, well now she ought'a be happy with that.
(T-Bag, T-Shirt and Krystle appear by magic in the studio).
J.R: Aaurggh.
Krystle: What happened?
T-Bag: Quiet!
J.R: Bubble Boy!
Krystle: J.R.!
Holly: T-Bag!
T-Shirt: Holly!
Holly: T-Shirt!
J.R: Krystle!
T-Bag: Shut up! Did somebody say crystal?
T-Shirt: Told you it was here.
T-Bag: Well get it then.
T-Shirt: Here.
T-Bag: Excellent.
Holly: Oh no.
T-Bag: Oh yes Miss clever clogs, smarty-pants. What have I got here? The next missing crystal, that's what. Hee, he, he, he, clever me, that'll teach you to go showing off, I saw you (mimicking Holly) I'm the Bubble Girl kid I'm an insolent pup, but now I'm down in the dumps cause I'm all washed up! Ha, ha, ha, come on T-Shirt, let's go home and celebrate.
(T-Bag takes a bite from the 'soap' apple) .
T-Shirt: No!
(T-Bag and T-Shirt disappear).
J.R: Oh-ai, would someone kindly explain to me what is going on?

Added: 04/04/2013

A new yacht

Holly: So you mean I've been slogging away all day for nothing, great. Oh, what's the use anyway, T-Bag's won and that's that.
Krystle: But you've done a lovely job for me, my birthday party's gonna be a great success.
J.R: Oh your birthday, oh sorry doll. Happy Birthday, here's your present, I'm sorry I didn't have time to wrap it.
Krystle: Hmmm.
J.R: What's the matter, don't you like it?
Krystle: Well, to tell you the truth I was hoping for a new yacht.
J.R: A yacht, that's no problem, we'll pick one up on the way after we've bought the toothpicks.
Krystle: Can we?
J.R: No sweat.
Krystle: Ohhh, say would you like this? I know it's not much but...
Holly: Would I? Thanks. I don't believe it.

Added: 04/04/2013

I'll scream

T-Bag: I hate her! I loathe her! I detest her! I'm fed up to the back teeth with her!
T-Shirt: Never mind, we'll get her next time Your Majesty.
T-Bag: Next time, next time, next time, don't talk to me about next time.
T-Shirt: Don't get yourself in a lather. Come and sit down, relax, take it easy.
T-Bag: Oh, I'm sick of the sight of her, if I ever see that smug little face I'll scream, I will, I'll scream.
Holly (heard on TV as the Bubble Girl Kid): La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. I'm the Bubble Girl kid I'm clean and neat, from the top of my head to the soles of my feet.
(T-Bag screams and lightning fills the T-Room).

Added: 04/04/2013

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For more mistakes from other episodes, please see the Nitpicker's Guide

  • The characters of J.R. and Krystle are a spoof of J.R. Ewing and Crystal from the American 80's shows Dallas and Dynasty.
  • J.R. says the line ‘We're going for a take, stand by lights, stand by sound, you all set Bobby’, this is a reference to Bobby Webber, the series stage manager.

  • In this episode T-Bag calls T-Shirt 'Rip Van Winkle' after the short story by author Washington Irving, first published in 1819. This moniker was used again in another episode.
    (T. Bag and The Rings of Olympus, Episode 6: Exit With A Puff)
  • This episode features the making of a TV commercial, this also happened again in Take off with T. Bag.
    (Take off with T. Bag, Episode 9: The Red Shoes)
  • Krystle is named after the magical item collected in this series, this would happen again in T. Bag and The Pearls of Wisdom.
    (T. Bag and The Pearls of Wisdom, Episode 2: High Noon)
  • In this episode T-Shirt takes a bath, he also does this in other episodes.
    (T-Bag Bounces Back, Episode 6: Hi-Hat)