Turn On To T-Bag Episode 8: The African Queen

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Episode 1Sparkes
Episode 2Gangsters
Episode 3Yeti
Episode 4Bubble Boy
Episode 5Pyramids
Episode 6Scrimp
Episode 7The Two Musketeers
Episode 8The African Queen
Episode 9Doc Leaf
Episode 10Turn On To T-Bag

UK Air Date23/02/1988, 4.20pm
Repeat Screening28/08/1990, 4.00pm
Copyright YearMCMLXXXVII (1987)
VTR Date20/10/1987
Fremantle Archive Ref37939 (series ref)
Consecutive Episode Number38
IMDB LinkEpisode page

T. Bag (Tallulah Bag)Elizabeth Estensen
T. ShirtJohn Hasler
Holly Anna JonesDiana Barrand
Bertha BotePamela Vezey
Mr. GrimesRoger Sloman

Make UpShiela Mann
Costume DesignerRaymond Childe
Graphic DesignerAlex Forbes
Stage ManagerBobby Webber
Production AssistantBarbara Mitchell
Written ByLee Pressman
Grant Cathro
DesignerJohn Plant
Executive ProducerCharles Warren
Producer/DirectorLeon Thau

Holly arrives on a cargo ship where she hides from Mr Grimes but she gets caught and he takes her to the captain, Berthda Boat. T-Bag teaches T-Shirt how to put people in his power but when he puts T-Bag in his power he makes her act like a child. When they go to the cargo ship T-Bag meets up with Mr Grimes they steal Holly’s bag of crystals from the chest they were locked up in.
The High-T Website synopsis
On board the African Queen, Holly falls foul of a sailor named Grimes, who hates children. He is also a crook and when he discovers the bag of crystals Holly has in her possession, he sets out to deprive her of them. T-Bag and T-Shirt arrive on the boat and try to do the same thing – but whenever someone claps his hands T-Bag starts to behave very strangely. Fortunately for Holly, Bertha Bote, the captain of the ship, becomes her friend.
TV Times listing

Rise into the air...

Under the spell

Caught At Sea

The Opening Of The Chest

For more images see the Image Galleries

If you would like to contribute your favourite/funniest etc quotes from this episode please contact me.

What about Ted?

T-Shirt: When I count to three, you will be in my power, one... two... three...
T-Bag: T-Shirt. Oh there you are, what is...
T-Shirt: Shhhhh.
T-Bag: What is it?
T-Shirt: Look at Ted.
T-Bag: What about Ted?
T-Shirt: Can't you tell?
T-Bag: Tell what?
T-Shirt: He's in my power.
T-Bag: Is he really? Oh for Pete's sake.
T-Shirt: Oi.
T-Bag: Playing with Teddy bears at your age, it's ridiculous. Why can't you grow up? When I was your age I wasn't interested in such rubbish. I had far better ways of occupying myself.
T-Shirt: Did she hurt you Ted? Did you bump your head? Poor old Ted.
T-Bag: Pathetic beyond belief, you're such a baby.
T-Shirt: No I'm not.
T-Bag: You're far too old to be playing with a stupid teddy bear.
T-Shirt: Well I've got nobody else to play with have I? You won't play with me.
T-Bag: I've no time for playing, not with Madam mischief on the loose. Things are getting desperate now.
T-Shirt: Play with me.
T-Bag: Scram.
T-Shirt: Let me try to put you in my power.
T-Bag: Beat it, I said.
T-Shirt: You are feeling my power.
T-Bag: And you'll be feeling the back of my hand in a minute, now help me to find the horrible Holly (T-Bag uses her magic to turn the TV on where she sees Holly on the ship). And there she is, ferreting around, nose into everything as usual. Ooooh, how I hate her.
T-Shirt: Teach me how to do it, you're good at it.
T-Bag: T-Shirt.

Added: 04/04/2016

Little intelligence

T-Bag: Right that's her out of my hair for a while, now what?
T-Shirt: Go on your Majesty, teach me how to put people in my power.
T-Bag: Why?
T-Shirt: I want to be like you, I think it's great what you do to people, get them to do anything you like, wrap them round your little finger, it's very impressive.
T-Bag: Of course it's impressive but it's way beyond your reach, you're not up to it.
T-Shirt: But if you taught me, you're a great teacher your Majesty.
T-Bag: True.
T-Shirt: You could do it, I know you could.
T-Bag: Well?
T-Shirt: One quick lesson.
T-Bag: Well alright then but you must concentrate.
T-Shirt: I will, I will.
T-Bag: Well the first thing you have do is clear your brain of any thoughts. That shouldn't pose any problems should it?
T-Shirt: No.
T-Bag: No, then reach down inside yourself and feel the magic power and then (clicks finger) and you've done it.
T-Shirt: There's just one problem.
T-Bag: What's that?
T-Shirt: I can't do that (tries to click fingers).
T-Bag: Oh for heavens sake, anything then, clap your hands.
T-Shirt: Oh I can clap my hands.
T-Bag: Well that's it.
T-Shirt: Oh but you haven't told me how to undo the spell.
T-Bag: It's obvious isn't it? Same again. (claps) In your power, (claps) out, (claps) in, (claps) out, are you following this?
T-Shirt: I think so, can I try it out on you?
T-Bag: You must be joking.
T-Shirt: I've got to try it out.
T-Bag: Not on me you don't. You have to start with something simple and work your way up. Something of little intelligence.
T-Shirt: Little intelligence?
T-Bag: Yes something really slow witted, thick.
T-Shirt: Like what?
T-Bag: Like this.
(Gilbert appears on the table by magic).
T-Shirt: That's Gilbert, Professor Sparks' guinea pig.
T-Bag: Well that's pretty thick, practice on that. I'm going to relax now that, that loathsome girl is out of my hair.

Added: 04/04/2014

You are in my power

T-Shirt: Sorry about this Gilbert but I have to start on something with little intelligence. Now, I'm reaching deep down inside me for the magic power (T-Bag snores), you are in my power, when I clap my hands you will do everything I tell you. (T-Shirt claps his hands and T-Bag wakes up hypnotized). You are feeling very light, your whole body is weightless, you feel as if you could fly. Concentrate now, you're starting to float in the air, rise, rise , rise. (T-Bag floats upwards), rise? Oh this rubbish, it doesn't work, what am I doing wrong your Majesty? (He notices T-Bag is in the air) Your Majesty, come down, I didn't mean you, come down. Oh what do I have to do to get you down? Oh yes, that's it, I clap my hands. Now your Majesty, when you hear a clap you'll come out of the spell (he claps).
T-Bag: Arrrrgggghhhhhh! (T-Bag falls to the floor).
T-Shirt: Now don't throw a wobbly your Majesty.
T-Bag: That's it, that's it, come here, I'm going to wring your neck.
T-Shirt: Get back.
T-Bag: Wait 'til I get my hands on you.
T-Shirt: No.
T-Bag: I've had all I can take, I can't take anymore.
(He claps and T-Bag is hypnotized again, he pulls a funny face to check her reaction).
T-Shirt: This could be a bit of a laugh, I think I could enjoy this.

Added: 06/06/2015

A bit of smart detective work

Bertha Bote: Oh dear, oh dear.
(T-Shirt appears).
Holly: T-Shirt.
Bertha Bote: What the?
Holly: I might have known, surprise, surprise, give me back my bag you little weasel.
T-Shirt: I haven't got your rotten bag, have I?
Holly: Don't give us that, of course you've got it.
Bertha Bote: Well if he says he hasn't got it Holly.
Holly: It's written all over his face, don't let him pull the wool over your eyes Bertha, he's the thief alright.
T-Shirt: No I'm not.
Holly: Who is then?
T-Shirt: I don't know do I? I only just got here.
Holly: Well I'm going to search this ship from top to bottom 'til I get my crystals back. (Holly leaves).
T-Shirt: Oh poor little girl, lost her crystals, isn't that terrible?
Bertha Bote: I feel it's all my fault.
T-Shirt: I'll help her get her bag back.
Bertha Bote: How?
T-Shirt: Leave it to me. A bit of smart detective work, that's what we need here.

Added: 04/04/2015

"Choker"
The first time we see T-Bag and T-Shirt, T-shirt is trying to put his teddy bear under his power. When T-Bag comes in, she is wearing her choker the wrong way around with the bow at the front. This continues through this scene, but in later scenes, she has it the right way around with the bow at the back.

For more mistakes from other episodes, please see the Nitpicker's Guide

  • Gilbert, Professor Spark's Guinea Pig was Lee Pressman's Guinea Pig. Gilbert is credited 'as Himself' on the credits (Gilbert is also credited in episodes 1, 9 and 10).
  • The title of this episode was also the name of a movie made in 1951.
  • The name of the character Bertha Bote, is a play-on-words for 'Berth A Boat'.
  • Pamela Vezey, who played Bertha Bote, sadly passed away on 18th June 1992, aged 59.
  • Roger Sloman appeared in The Tomorrow People which was also written by Lee Pressman and Grant Cathro. Roger Sloman appeared in all five episodes of 'The Culex Experiment' as Inspector Platt.
  • Roger Sloman appeared in Mike & Angelo which was also written by Lee Pressman and Grant Cathro. Roger Sloman appeared in the episode 'Trust Me, I'm A Doctor!' (#6.2, 29/02/1994) as Sydney Pinner.
  • Roger Sloman appeared in B & B which was also written by Lee Pressman and Grant Cathro. Roger Sloman appeared in the programme as Bob Noakes.

  • Roger Sloman, who plays Mr Grimes, appears in two episodes throughout the nine series of T-Bag. This is his first of his two appearances.
    (T. Bag and The Pearls of Wisdom, Episode 3: Elementary, My Dear What-Not)
  • This is the first time that T-Bag thinks and behaves like a child; this is also done in the following series.
    (T. Bag and The Revenge of the T. Set, Episode 5: Hazel Knutt's Muesli Bar)
  • A clip from this episode is shown when T-Shirt reminisces in T. Bag and the Revenge of the T. Set.
    (T. Bag and The Revenge of the T. Set, Episode 1: The Stone Circle)
  • The bag given to Holly at the end of this episode leads into the next episode where there are many other identical bags owned by all the characters.
    (Turn on to T-Bag, Episode 9: Doc Leaf)
  • Gilbert, Professor Spark's Guinea Pig, appears in four episodes over the series.
    (Turn on to T-Bag, Episode 1: Sparkes)
    (Turn on to T-Bag, Episode 9: Doc Leaf)
    (Turn on to T-Bag, Episode 10: Turn On To T-Bag)
  • T-Bag is referred to as 'Bin Bag' in this episode, this happens numerous times throughout the series, in this episode it is T-Shirt who says 'Thank you Bin-Bag'.
    (T-Bag Bounces Back, Episode 10: Happy Ending)
    (Turn on to T-Bag, Episode 9: Doc Leaf)
    (Turn on to T-Bag, Episode 10: Turn On To T-Bag)
    (T. Bag and The Revenge of the T. Set, Episode 8: La Boheme)
    (T. Bag and The Revenge of the T. Set, Episode 9: The Bard)
    (T. Bag and The Pearls of Wisdom, Episode 9: Play It Again, Sal)
    (T. Bag and The Pearls of Wisdom, Episode 10: The Pearls Of Wisdom)
    (T. Bag and The Rings of Olympus, Episode 10: Return To Olympus)
    (T. Bag and The Sunstones of Montezuma, Episode 6: Ra Ra Rasputin)
    (T. Bag and The Sunstones of Montezuma, Episode 7: One Million Years B.C.)