Turn On To T-Bag Episode 6: Scrimp

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Turn On To T-Bag

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Episode 1Sparkes
Episode 2Gangsters
Episode 3Yeti
Episode 4Bubble Boy
Episode 5Pyramids
Episode 6Scrimp
Episode 7The Two Musketeers
Episode 8The African Queen
Episode 9Doc Leaf
Episode 10Turn On To T-Bag

UK Air Date02/02/1988, 4.20pm
Repeat Screening07/08/1990, 4.00pm
Copyright YearMCMLXXXVII (1987)
VTR Date29/09/1987
Fremantle Archive Ref37939 (series ref)
Consecutive Episode Number36
IMDB LinkEpisode page

T. Bag (Tallulah Bag)Elizabeth Estensen
T. ShirtJohn Hasler
Holly Anna JonesDiana Barrand
Ebenezer ScrimpJohn Cater
Tom ScrimpSam Kent Smith

Make UpShiela Mann
Costume DesignerRaymond Childe
Graphic DesignerAlex Forbes
Stage ManagerBobby Webber
Production AssistantBarbara Mitchell
Written ByLee Pressman
Grant Cathro
DesignerJohn Plant
Executive ProducerCharles Warren
Producer/DirectorLeon Thau

It is the night before Christmas where Ebenezer Scrimp is counting his shillings. His nephew, Tom, wants to celebrate Christmas but Ebenezer doesn’t. When Tom brings Holly in from the cold, Ebenezer steals Holly’s crystals and she must get them back before T-Bag does.
The High-T Website synopsis

Jingle Bells

Holly & Tom Scrimp

Christmas Carollers

Roof Top Fishing

For more images see the Image Galleries

If you would like to contribute your favourite/funniest etc quotes from this episode please contact me.

Holly and the Ivy

T-Bag: I must get that booster device soon without it I can't start transmitting.
T-Shirt: Unless that girl, Holly, gets all those crystals first.
T-Bag: Oh don't remind me. We better see what she's up to.
T-Shirt: Christmas Carols, great, I love Christmas.
T-Bag: That's all I need, twittering children.
T-Shirt: Oi, I was listening to that.
T-Bag: Tough.
T-Shirt: You never told me it was Christmas, it's not fair.
T-Bag: I've enough on my mind without all that rubbish. Where's that girl?
T-Shirt: Can we have a Christmas tree?
T-Bag: She's got five of those blasted crystals already, she mustn't get anymore.
T-Shirt: And decorations and crackers and Christmas Pudding.
T-Bag: I'll stop her this time pesky interfering little madam.
T-Shirt: And presents, and cards and mistletoe.
T-Bag: I'll get you Holly.
T-Shirt: Oh will you, great, right you get the Holly and I'll get the Ivy, The Holly and the Ivy when they're both full grown...
T-Bag: If you want to live to be full grown you better shut up about this Christmas hoo-haa and help me.
T-Shirt: Oh but I want..
T-Bag: T-Shirt.
T-Shirt: Well that's just typical isn't it, thank you very much.

Added: 08/12/2012

A Christmas tree

Tom Scrimp: Uncle Ebenezer, I'm home.
Ebenezer Scrimp: About time too, you're late. Where have you been eh? Up to no good that's for sure.
Tom Scrimp: Oh no Uncle, I'll tell you what happened. You see, this poor old lady slipped over on the ice and hurt her leg, well I helped her up and carried her big heavy bag home for her, she lived miles away and that's why I'm late.
Ebenezer Scrimp: How much did she give you for that?
Tom Scrimp: Nothing, I, I didn't want anything.
Ebenezer Scrimp: What? You stupid little fool you should have made her pay.
Tom Scrimp: What for?
Ebenezer Scrimp: What for? What for? I've told you 'til I'm blue in the face, nothing's free in this life boy. That woman made a real fool of you.
Tom Scrimp: Oh, oh no she didn't she said thanks very much.
Ebenezer Scrimp: Thank you very much won't pay the rent will it? Well how much did you earn today then eh? (Tom hands over a coin) One penny!
Tom Scrimp: Sorry Uncle, not many people wanted their chimney swept today. It is Christmas Eve you know.
Ebenezer Scrimp: So what?
Tom Scrimp: Well everyone's too busy putting up trees and fancy decorations and all that.
Ebenezer Scrimp: So because of that I have to suffer?
Tom Scrimp: Can we have a Christmas tree Uncle?
Ebenezer Scrimp: What?
Tom Scrimp: Only a little one, can we Uncle please?
Ebenezer Scrimp: A Christmas tree!
Tom Scrimp: A teeny one, they only cost a ha'penny.
Ebenezer Scrimp: You're asking me to spend hard earned cash on a dead tree?
Tom Scrimp: Well yes.
Ebenezer Scrimp: And what prey will you do with this dead tree eh?
Tom Scrimp: Do?
Ebenezer Scrimp: Can you eat it? Can you clothe yourself with it? What good is it to anybody?
Tom Scrimp: Well it's nice to look at.
Ebenezer Scrimp: Ah and when you're finished looking at it what then?
Tom Scrimp: You, you throw it away.
Ebenezer Scrimp: Exactly, here you are (he passes Tom a tree branch), look at this instead, it's free.
Tom Scrimp: Oh Uncle.
Ebenezer Scrimp: Not another word. They'll be no Christmas in this house.
(Scrimp leaves, Sam sighs and there is a knock on the door which he opens).
Holly: Oh excuse me, I'm sorry to trouble you, it's just that, well I'm so cold and tired that... (Holly begins to faint).
Tom Scrimp: Here, come, come in, come in, cor, erm, here, sit over here, er, you'll be alright, erm, er, Uncle, Uncle.

Added: 04/04/2020

Jingle Bells

T-Shirt: Jingle Bells, T-Bag smells. She's a right old pain. Tallulah Bag's a right old hag. I'll sing it once again, oh, Jingle Bells, T-Bag smells.
T-Bag: T-Shirt!
T-Shirt: Oops.
T-Bag: What is this? I can't even leave the room for two seconds.
T-Shirt: But it's Christmas, pull a cracker.
T-Bag: I told you to belt up about stupid Christmas. I don't want to hear another word about it. Look at the state of this place.
T-Shirt: Don't you even want your present?
T-Bag: No I do not. What present?
T-Shirt: Your Christmas present.
T-Bag: What is it?
T-Shirt: Here you are.
(T-Shirt uses his magic and a fishing rod appears).
T-Bag: What am I supposed to do with this?
T-Shirt: Go fishing.
T-Bag: Are you trying to drive me completely crazy or what? Now just stop all this and help me find that girl.

Updated: 04/04/2015

A Merry Christmas

T-Bag: A Merry Christmas to you good sir, please spare a thought won’t you for the poor and needy, share your wealth with those less fortunate than yourselves and give, give, give.
Ebenezer Scrimp: Only a penny farthing!

Up the chimney

T-Bag: Foolproof eh? Foolproof. I'm the one who's a fool for listening to your stupid pathetic ideas.
T-Shirt: Well that's nice isn't it. I was just trying to help.
T-Bag: Well I can do without that kind of help thank you very much. From now on I'll do the thinking and you do as you're told.
T-Shirt: Well that's fine by me. Go on then, I'll just sit back here and you let me know when you've come up with this amazing plan to get those crystals back.
T-Bag: Don't worry, I will.
T-Shirt: Go on then, what is it? Eh, eh.
T-Bag: I'll think of something.
T-Shirt: Come on, hurry up.
T-Bag: Alright.
T-Shirt: I'm waiting.
T-Bag: Well I can't think with you wittering on in my ear, can I? Suppose we better see what's what before making any rash decisions.
(T-Bag's magics the TV on and can see what Scrimp is doing).
T-Bag: Look at this, he's hiding the crystals in that box All I have to do is get it and that'll be that. The crystals will be mine and the battle will be won. Wait a minute, is he mad or what?
T-Shirt: He's hiding the box up the chimney.
T-Bag: Well obviously he's hiding the box up the chimney, I can see that.
T-Shirt: So how are you going to get them down then?
T-Bag: There's always a way, all I need is a little time to consider the best way to tackle the problem.
T-Shirt: Tackle!
T-Bag: Chimney, chimney.
T-Shirt: Your Majesty, Your Majesty, I've just had a brilliant idea.
T-Bag: Be quiet, I'm trying to think.
T-Shirt: The fishing rod.
T-Bag: Be quiet boy.
T-Shirt: On the roof.
T-Bag: How many times do I have to tell you, button your lip?
T-Shirt: We could hook it up the chimney.
T-Bag: Shush, I have an idea coming on. A good idea, an inspired idea.
T-Shirt: But mine...
T-Bag: It's brilliant, give me this, all we have to do is go up on the roof with this fishing rod and hook his little box up the chimney. Ha, genius, I don't know how I think of it. Come on.

Added: 08/12/2012

Pull a cracker

(Tom is putting on a new hat).
Tom Scrimp: Cor, great, look at this Holly.
Holly: Ooh, I love it. It really suits you.
Carol singers (off screen): Good King Wenceslas looked out on the Feast of Stephen.
Holly (and Carol singers (off screen)):: When the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even. Brightly shone the moon that night though the frost was cruel. When a poor man came in sight gathering winter fuel.
Ebenezer Scrimp: That's charming.
Carol singers (continuing off screen): Hither, page, and stand by me if thou knowst it, telling.
(Scrimp goes outside to address the carol singers).
Ebenezer Scrimp: Wonderful singing, very good, keep it up (chuckles). A merry Christmas to you, here you are (he throws a bag of coins and comes back inside).
Carol singers (continuing off screen): Yonder peasant, who is he? Where and what his dwelling?
Ebenezer Scrimp: What a marvellous day this is, people singing in the streets, bells ringing, children laughing, what have I been missing all these years?
Carol singers (continuing off screen): Sire, he lives a good league hence underneath the mountain. Right against the forest fence by Saint Agnes fountain.
Tom Scrimp: Here Uncle, pull a cracker.
Ebenezer Scrimp: Right (they all laugh).
(Carol singers outside have stopped).
Ebenezer Scrimp: And Merry Christmas to you my dear.
Holly: Merry Christmas Mister Scrimp.
Ebenezer Scrimp: I hope you're going to stay for dinner, there's enough for everyone, look. It's gonna be great.
Holly: I'd love to but I can't.
Tom Scrimp: Oh.
Holly: No, you see there's something I've got to do and it's really important.
Tom Scrimp: But Holly.
Ebenezer Scrimp: Oh go on, stay for a little while hey.
Holly: Sorry I have to go, thanks anyway for giving me my crystals back. See it's another one of these I've got to find.
Tom Scrimp: Oh you can look for that later, here, here, pull a cracker.
Holly: Oh alright (they pull a cracker and a crystal falls out). The crystal! I don't believe it.
Tom Scrimp: Amazing.
Ebenezer Scrimp: There you are, now you've got no excuses, you'll have to stay for dinner won't you? Oh what a wonderful day. Oh, how I love Christmas.
Tom Scrimp: So do I.
Holly: Me too. Merry Christmas T-Bag.
(In the T-Room with T-Bag and T-Shirt).
T-Shirt: (laughs) And a Happy New Year.
(T-Bag rolls her head and the T-Room fills with thunder and lightning).

Added: 04/04/2021

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For more mistakes from other episodes, please see the Nitpicker's Guide

  • John Cater, who plays Scrimp, sadly passed away on 21st March 2009, aged 77.
  • The character of Ebenezer Scrimp is a parody of Ebenezer Scrooge from the Charles Dickens novel 'A Christmas Carol'.
  • Sam Kent-Smith, who plays Tom, is the son of actor Sylvester McCoy who played the seventh Doctor in Doctor Who, Sylvester's birth name is Percy James Patrick Kent-Smith. Sam also played an uncredited Haemovore in the 1989 Doctor Who serial 'The Curse of Fenric', although the scene was cut from the original version it was later reinstated in the special edition available on the DVD release of the serial. Sam would later work as a 3D artist for Asylum Entertainment and worked on the game 'Doctor Who Return To Earth' for the Nintendo Wii.

  • T-Shirt's Santa costume was used again in T. Bag's Christmas Cracker.
    (T. Bag's Christmas Cracker)
  • When Holly is talking about the TV shows coming up in episode one she mentions the night before Christmas which relates to this episode.
    (Turn on to T-Bag, Episode 1: Sparkes)
  • John Cater, who plays Scrimp, appears in three episodes throughout the nine series of T-Bag. This is his first of his three appearances.
    (T. Bag and The Pearls of Wisdom, Episode 4: Grimble and Squiffy)
    (T. Bag's Christmas Turkey)
  • Holly gets the crystals stolen by the miser Scrimp, this also happens in other episodes.
    (Wonders in Letterland, Episode 6: Debbie In The Land Of R)
    (T-Bag Strikes Again, Episode 6: Dick Gherkin)
    (T-Bag Bounces Back, Episode 6: Hi-Hat)
    (T-Bag Bounces Back, Episode 9: Nikdit The Thief)
    (Turn on to T-Bag, Episode 9: Doc Leaf)
    (T. Bag and The Pearls of Wisdom, Episode 4: Grimble and Squiffy)
    (T. Bag and The Pearls of Wisdom, Episode 8: Cedric Sackbutt's Search For A Song)
    (T. Bag and The Rings of Olympus, Episode 4: Rum Barbara)
    (T. Bag and The Rings of Olympus, Episode 7: Rats)
    (T. Bag and The Sunstones of Montezuma, Episode 4: Gone Fishing)
  • Holly sings the Christmas Carol 'Good King Wenceslas', this is also sung in T. Bag's Christmas Carol.
    (T. Bag's Christmas Carol)
  • T-Bag and T-Shirt sing the Christmas Carol 'We wish you a Merry Christmas', this is also sung in other episodes.
    (T. Bag's Christmas Carol)
    (T. Bag's Christmas Turkey)
  • In episode ten T-Shirt tells Professor Sparkes about their adventures referring to this episode, 'and been down chimneys'.
    (Turn on to T-Bag, Episode 10: Turn On To T-Bag)