T. Bag And The Rings Of Olympus Episode 2: Bandits

El Moustachio, a bandit, steals the next ring and all his takings from the barber Pedro. Polly makes a deal with Pedro to get his money back in exchange for the next Ring of Olympus.
The High-T Website synopsis

Next week Polly finds herself down Mexico way. Why is T-Bag so hot under the collar? Find out in next week’s hair-raising episode of T. Bag and the Rings of Olympus.
Next week preview (from previous episode)

This week, Polly finds herself down Mexico way. Who is the maniac with the monster moustache? Can Polly find the next gold ring? Stay tuned to T. Bag and the Rings of Olympus.
Stay tuned preview (from start of episode)

Will those Gold Rings ever be found?
Lookin listing

Ripe for the picking

(T-Shirt is listening to some loud music).
T-Bag: T-Shirt. Will you shut that row off? Oh. (T-Bag removes the cassette tape and pulls out all the tape ribbon).
T-Shirt: Oi!
T-Bag: Oh dear, look what happened. What a shame. (picks up saucer) Ohhhh. Look, look, we're in luck. One of those golden rings, ripe for the picking, sensational.
T-Shirt: Oh yeah, I can hardly contain my excitement.
T-Bag: I'm off. We're off.

Added: 04/04/2024

Shortback and sides for my scruffy sidekick

T-Shirt: He's not here, let's go.
T-Bag: He's got to be here somewhere. Shop. Shop, shop, shop, shop, shop, shop.
Pedro: Sí.
T-Bag: Sí sí.
T-Shirt: He's not wearing the ring thingy.
T-Bag: Sí sí. It's got to be here somewhere, you distract him while I hunt for it.
T-Shirt: Distract him, how?
T-Bag: Oh hopeless, hopeless, Ah barber you, shortback and sides for my scruffy sidekick.
Pedro: Heh.
T-Shirt: What?
T-Bag: Ah shut up, get in the chair.
Pedro: How would you like it amigo?
T-Bag: Oh hack it all off.
T-Shirt: A trim will do.
Pedro: Ah, sí señor.

Added: 04/04/2017

A piece of paella

T-Bag: Ok, here's the plan. Once I get in with that old moustachio character and ingratiate myself.
T-Shirt: Sounds painful.
T-Bag: Oh once I've gained his trust he'll be a piece of paella.

Added: 04/04/2019

A million times before

T-Bag: Oh look at me, I'm soaking, and look at my hair, what a mess. I'll have to go and see that old bimbo, the barber, I suppose. What am I going to do about getting in with that chilli bean, fuzz-faced fool of a bandit.
T-Shirt: Let me go Amigo.
T-Bag: Ohhhh, well you know what has to be done.
T-Shirt: Yeah, yeah, yeah, pal up with him, get the ring, I've done it all a million times before.
T-Bag: But never successfully.
T-Shirt: That's rich coming from you.
T-Bag: Ohhhh go and don't come back without that ring.
(T-Shirt disappears).
T-Bag: Ohhhhh.

Added: 04/04/2015

Nice poncho, Honcho

El Moustachio: OK girl, you're one of the boys now.
Polly: Great.
El Moustachio: Go into the cave and get yourself a gun, it's time we did some bandit business, no, eh. Ariba, ariba (he laughs).
(Polly walks off into the cave, T-Shirt then appears dressed as a Mexican with a big moustache).
El Moustachio: Santa Lucia, where did you spring from?
T-Shirt: The name is Figaro Miguel Rodriguez Gonzales Topo Gigo Enricho Salvador Jose de Shirt but you can call me Honcho.
El Moustachio: Nice poncho, Honcho.
T-Shirt: Gracias.
El Moustachio: And I love the moustache.
T-Shirt: Ah, is nothing.
El Moustachio: How long it take you to grow? Mine took me seventeen years.
T-Shirt: Ha! Seventeen minutes this took, I was clean shaven when I left home this morning.
El Moustachio: No, ci?
T-Shirt: Ci.
El Moustachio: Wow, I always say judge a man by his moustache. And yours my fine friend is a masterpiece, ha, ha, what a man.
T-Shirt: Hey Amigo, any chance of joining your gang?
El Moustachio: Hey, with whiskers like those Amigo you can lead the gang. El Moustachio stands down before a superior forest of facial follicles.
T-Shirt: Eh? Oh nice one El (laughs).
(Polly comes out of the cave).
Polly: T-Shirt!
T-Shirt: Oh.
El Moustachio: Hey girl, come and meet our new leader, El Honcho.
Polly: Honcho? Who are you trying to kid? He's just out to con you.
T-Shirt: Me, trying to con you, what do you think she's trying to do?
Polly: Don't listen to him, he's a little liar.
T-Shirt: She's the liar, kick her out.
El Moustachio: Uh?
T-Shirt: Who's the leader here, who's got the biggest moustache?
El Moustachio: You have Honcho.
T-Shirt: Exactly and I say kick her... (Polly rips off T-Shirt's fake moustache) ... owwwwwhhhh!
El Moustachio: Torremolinos.
T-Shirt: Oops.
El Moustachio: Why you lying, fibbing, two-faced little...
T-Shirt: Adios.
(T-Shirt disappears).
El Moustachio: Wha... Grrrr.
Polly: What you looking at me like that for? What have I done?
El Moustachio: If I ever find out that you've been lying to me... (actions to slit throat as he puts his hat back on that squelches with the beans). What?
Polly: Er.
El Moustachio: So, yuuuurghh.

Added: 04/04/2015 | Updated: 04/04/2017

A close shave

El Moustachio: I will never be able to show my face in this town again.
Pedro: Ohhhhh, what a pity, hee hee. Adios Amigos.
(El Moustachio leaves).
Polly: Can I really keep this ring Pedro?
Pedro: Ohh, sí, señorita and muchas gracias for all your help.
Polly: Supposed you could say it was a close shave.
Pedro: Keh? Oh (laughs).

Added: 04/04/2020