T. Bag And The Rings Of Olympus Episode 1: The Rings Of Olympus

When T-Bag is banished from Mount Olympus by the Goddess Athena she wants the Rings Of Olympus which give Athena her powers.
The High-T Website synopsis

T-Bag, T-Shirt and Polly begin their quest to recover the Gold Rings of Olympus, which have been scattered through space and time all over the world by the Goddess Athena.
TV Times listing

T-Bag, T-Shirt and Polly begin their quest to get back the Gold Rings of Olympus.
Lookin listing

First of a ten-part adventure. T-Bag, T-Shirt and Polly begin their quest for the golden rings scattered through space and time.
Radio Times listing

A nice way to greet an old friend

T-Shirt: Oh no not again.
T-Bag: That's a nice way to greet an old friend.
T-Shirt: Well you're old I'll give you that.
T-Bag: Mmmm yes, you've grown since last we met, especially your lip!
T-Shirt: Look before you go any further, forget it, I'm not interested, keep your crackpot plans to yourself.
T-Bag: You will do exactly as I say.
T-Shirt: Arrggghhhh, I am in your power your Majesty.
T-Bag: Fabby, fabby doooo. Wonderful, welcome to the new T-Room and the new High-T plant. I like it.
(T-Bag magics in the T-Room furniture)
T-Bag: Everything's hunky dory, my hunk has seldom been dorier.
T-Shirt: Where are we anyway?
T-Bag: The great and magnificent Tabatha Bag is back with a vengeance. Arghh, argh ha.
T-Shirt: What an enormous head!
T-Bag: Don't talk to me like that.
T-Shirt: Not you, that. Who do you think it is?
T-Bag: Oh who cares? Ugly great thing, I'm not having that cluttering up my nice new T-Room. It's got to go.
Athena: Hold mortal.
T-Bag: What?
T-Shirt: I, I, trouble.
Athena: Who are you and what are you doing here? This is Mount Olympus, home of the Gods.
T-Bag: Oh the cheek of it, listen here love, your trespassing in my new front room so roll up your robe and get your size fifteen out of here... pa-rrronto!
Athena: I am Athena.
T-Bag: A-what?
Athena: Athena, the Goddess of Wisdom.
T-Bag: Get out of here.
(T-Bag tries to zap Athena but it rebounds)
T-Bag: What?
T-Shirt: Must be out of bullets.
Athena: Pathetic creature. Go, go, go...

Updated: 04/04/2013

The Search For The New T-Room

T-Shirt: Looks like we’re homeless.
T-Bag: Come on.
T-Shirt: Come on where?
T-Bag: Back up the mountain, nobody throws out Tabatha Bag, let’s go.
T-Shirt: Hang about, stop and think, is this wise? Look there’s a cave, we could pop in there, find a nice cosy corner and...
T-Bag: Only creepy old bats live in caves.
T-Shirt: I never said a word.
T-Bag: No way am I going in that dark, dirty, smelly cave, no way.

Minotaur Mix-Up

After going into the cave to find a place for the new T-Room:
T-Shirt: Look, there's a sign.
T-Bag (reading the sign): To the Minotaur.
T-Shirt: What's a Minotaur?
T-Bag: Oh pathetic, don't they teach you anything at that school.
T-Shirt: So what is it then.
T-Bag: Oh well, well, Minotaur it's greek for mind the door.

The rings of Tabatha

T-Bag: I want those rings.
T-Shirt: Oi, know-it-all, I've just looked up Minotaur and for your information it doesn't mean mind the door. It means... hideous monster, half bull, half man, feeds off human flesh and blood.
(They hear a loud roaring sound).
T-Bag: Auurrggghhhhh. I think we ought to.
T-Shirt: Yeah. I think we ought to.
(T-Shirt closes the door).
T-Bag: Right, that's that, come on, we're off.
T-Shirt: Off? We just got here.
T-Bag: We've just found out how that Athena biddy gets her powers from.
T-Shirt: Oh yeah.
T-Bag: Oh yeah, the rings of Olympus, shortly to become the rings of Tabatha.
T-Shirt: Eh?
T-Bag: Come on, I'll explain my cunning plan on the way.

Added: 04/04/2016

Melodious, goddess of music

T-Bag: Right, all set.
T-Shirt: What do I look like? I'll get arrested walking round like this.
T-Bag: Oh shut up, now you remember the plan?
T-Shirt: Yeah, yeah, yeah, sing her to sleep and grab the rings, very original.
T-Bag: Oh thank you, when I give the wink start plucking. Oh Athenia darling it's been too, too long.
Athena: What, who are you?
T-Bag: Oh you don't remember do you? It's me Melodious, goddess of music. We used to be cloud mates remember?
Athena: Errrrrr, errurrr.
T-Bag: Oh, of course you do. Divine little place you have here, very des res I must say.
Athena: I, I don't think I've had the pleasure.
T-Bag: Oh, still in the dark eh? Well never mind, this'll bring back the old memories flooding back, this little ditty from days gone by. OK, hit it Harpo.

Added: 04/04/2015

Groove in the floor

(T-Bag is pacing up and down in the T-Room)
T-Bag: I’ve got to have those rings, I must have those rings, I won’t rest ‘til I get those rings.
T-Shirt: Right, right there’s going to be no peace until you what you want. Sit down and I’ll go get them.
T-Bag: You? Don’t make me laugh.
T-Shirt: A bit of gumption, that’s all that’s needed and I’m full of it.
T-Bag: You said it.
T-Shirt: So you just stop wearing a groove in the floor and I’ll be back in a jiffy, maybe even sooner.
(T-Shirt uses his magic and disappears)
T-Bag: Ohhh, that boy.

I am Zeus, I am all powerful

Polly: Oh great Zeus. It's me, Polly-Zena. I just wanted to tell you I'm so happy. I'll take care of your rings Great Zeus, you can trust me.
(T-Shirt pretends to be Zeus by hiding behind the statue and speaking through the megaphone).
T-Shirt: I do trust you child.
Polly: Zeus?
T-Shirt: I trust you completely Polly-Styrene, erm, er, Polly-Urethane… oh.
Polly: Polly-Zena, just call me Polly.
T-Shirt: Polly, I have been betrayed. There is a rotten apple in the barrel, a snake in the grass, a chicken in the basket. Athena. Ten golden magical rings she stole from me.
Polly: Stole?
T-Shirt: Those rings have untold powers which she will use to destroy us all. There is only one person who can stop her. You.
Polly: Me?
T-Shirt: You must get those rings from Athena and return them to their rightful owner.
Polly: Bu.. wha...
T-Shirt: I command you. I am Zeus, I am all powerful. Fail me not, bring me those rings.
Polly: I will obey great Zeus.
(Polly walks off, T-Shirt comes out from behind the Zeus statue and T-Bag appears).
T-Shirt: Pretty darn brilliant I'd say. Now that's what I call utilising the noddle.
T-Bag: Pretty darn feeble I'd say. She's never going to stand for that dross and bumpkin.
T-Shirt: We'll soon see.
Athena (off screen): Polly-Zena.
T-Shirt: Quick, hide.
T-Bag: What?
T-Shirt: Watch me.
T-Bag: Urhhh, ohhhhhhh, ohhhhhhh.
(T-Shirt and T-Bag pose as statues in the background then Polly and Athena walk back in).
Polly: Anything I can do, anything before I go to bed? I know, I could polish the rings if you'd like.
Athena: Oh Polly, you are keen aren't you? Alright, here, but take good care of them.
Polly: Oh I will, yes, I will.
Athena: I'll be back in a little while, it's so nice to have found someone I can trust.
(Athena walks off and Polly approaches the Zeus statue).
Polly: Oh great Zeus, I've done what you asked. Zeus? Zeus?
(T-Shirt creeps back behind the Zeus statue and begins to talk without the megaphone).
T-Shirt: Do you have the rings? (He coughs and then speaks through the megaphone) Do you have the rings?
Polly: I do.
T-Shirt: Brilliant, leave them on the ground before me and retire, you have done well Polly whatever your name is. Now go.
(Polly leaves the rings on the floor and begins to walk away).
T-Bag: Pssst, pssst. Get the rings.
(Polly turns back).
Polly: Oh, by the way. Wh… wh… what?
(Polly grabs one side of the chain with the Rings of Olympus).
T-Shirt: Get off.
Polly: Give that back. Help!
T-Shirt: It's mine.
Polly: It isn't, let go. Athena.
T-Shirt: Will you give me that?

Added: 04/04/2024

Scattered across time and space

Polly: Athena, Athena, help, help.
Athena: What is this?
(The rings break apart and fall to the floor).
T-Bag: Don't just stand there like a lump of putty, pick 'em up.
Athena: No!
T-Bag: Oh, keep out of this, Grandma! Get those rings.
(Athena makes the rings disappear).
T-Shirt: What?
Athena: Too late, they've gone, scattered across time and space where you will never get your evil hands on them.
T-Bag: You interfering old harridan. I may not have those rings but neither do you, so goodbye.
(T-Bag zaps Athena and she disappears).
T-Bag: Come on, quick, we've got to find those rings wherever they are.

Added: 04/04/2014

Many strange and unfamiliar places

(Polly picks up a ring left on the floor and she hears Athena's voice).
Athena (off screen): Polly-Zena, Polly-Zena.
Polly: Athena?
Athena (off screen): Help me. Will you help me?
Polly: Where are you?
Athena (off screen): That's not important. You must recover those rings or all is lost.
Polly: But how?
Athena (off screen): The ring you hold will lead you to the others. Find them please, bring them back to me.
Polly: I will.
Athena (off screen): Wait, you will need to be prepared for your journey will take you to many strange and unfamiliar places.
(Polly disappears and reappears wearing different clothes ready for her journey).
Polly: Wow.
Athena (off screen): Go now, hurry. Use the power of the ring. Go safely my child, go safely.
(Polly disappears).

Added: 04/04/2024

Not another quest

T-Shirt: Not another quest, tell me it’s not, I can’t bear it. I’m getting too old for this lark.
T-Bag: Oh shut up, I’m trying to find out where she’s gone to, all we’ve got to do is follow her and get there first.
T-Shirt: How can we get there first if we’re following her?
T-Bag: Do you want to help me or not?
T-Shirt: Preferably not but I’d like to live to be sixteen.
T-Bag: I’m gonna get you Polly pee-wee piffle pants and you’ll regret the day you were born... ha, ha, ha!

Added: 08/11/2010