Take Off With T. Bag Episode 2: Thief Of Baghdad

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Episode 1Many Happy Returns
Episode 2Thief Of Baghdad
Episode 3Bagsy Malone
Episode 4Curse Of The Mummy
Episode 5Doctor Strangebag
Episode 6Antony and Cleopatra
Episode 7Phantom Of The Opera
Episode 8Bin Bag
Episode 9The Red Shoes
Episode 10Shangri-La

UK Air Date15/09/1992, 4.15pm
Repeat ScreeningN/A
Copyright Year1992
VTR Dateunknown
Fremantle Archive Ref56887 (series ref)
Consecutive Episode Number86
IMDB LinkEpisode page

T. Bag (Tabatha Bag)Georgina Hale
T. ShirtJohn Hasler
Tow-Ling ShirtBea Julakasiun
Sultan BagwashNorman Mitchell
AliAlex Bartlette

Make UpChristine Morrell
CostumeJo Allman
Stage ManagerBobby Webber
Lighting DirectorPeter Bower
Production AssistantGill Thomas
Video Tape EditorGrant Goodwin
Production DesignerAlex Clarke
ProducerCharles Warren
DirectorNeville Green
Written ByLee Pressman
Grant Cathro

T-Bag arrives at a bazaar in Baghdad where a Sultan buys a flying carpet from Alis Store. When Tow-Ling makes a wish on a magic lamp at the bazaar to make T-Bag shrink, T-Shirt and Tow-Ling have to go back to the bazaar to get the lamp but the Sultan has already taken it.
The High-T Website synopsis

For Hours

Shrunk

Ali

After The Big Bang

For more images see the Image Galleries

If you would like to contribute your favourite/funniest etc quotes from this episode please contact me.

Pick it, stick it, dunk it, junk it

Tow-Ling: Right, I think I've got it now.
T-Shirt: Go for it Tow-Ling, you can do it.
T-Bag: Oh get on with it will you, I'm gasping here.
Tow-Ling: Er, so, pick it, stick it, dunk it, junk it. There, how's that?
T-Shirt: Mmm, not bad, you're getting there.
T-Bag: I'll be the judge of that, do you mind, give me that tea.
T-Shirt: No, no, no, I think we'll try it one more time.
T-Bag: I must have been out of my mind bringing you along, you little half baked driblet. Ha, I mean, what do they teach you at this tea-making academy these days.
Tow-Ling: Tea's up your Majesty.
T-Bag: Thank you. (T-Bag takes a sip of tea and starts coughing) Oh you idiot!

Added: 04/04/2015

This recession

T-Bag: I don't see any sign of my birthday surprise.
T-Shirt: Well, give us a break, we've only been here two seconds.
Ali: And now Ladies and Gentlemen what am I bid for this exquisite hand painted 24 piece tea... (drops two cups) 22 piece tea service? Sir, Madam. Ah, beautiful lady, now I've gazed on the face of an angel I can die a happy man.
T-Bag: Go kiss a scorpion, you fuzzhead.
Ali: Baubles, bangles, bracelets.
T-Bag: A bunch of five, if you don't get outta my way.
Ali: Young sir, anyone can learn to be a snake charmer, even you.
T-Shirt: Cobras.
Ali: No it's true, honest.
T-Bag: T-Shirt.
T-Shirt: Sorry but I have to...
Ali: This recession, when will it ever end? Sheba?

Added: 04/04/2014

Traipsing Around

T-Bag: Hours and hours weve been traipsing around this (sniffs) foul place and what for? Not even a sausage, not even a party-sized, miniature, cocktail-sticked chipolata; nothing. Oh Ive had enough.
T-Shirt: Dont stop yet!
T-Bag: I wish Id never had started.

Auditioning for the part of Thumbelina

T-Bag: Help!
T-Shirt: Stop whining and come on.
T-Bag: Help!
T-Shirt: What? Where did you...
T-Bag: Help! T-Shirt.
T-Shirt: Hello.
T-Bag: Oh, the boy's a pinhead. Oi, down here you bean-brained idiot.
T-Shirt: Flipping heck, well what are you doing down here?
T-Bag: Well what does it look like, auditioning for the part of Thumbelina, how should I know? Oh shut up, or I'll, or I'll...
T-Shirt: Or you'll what exactly?
(He breathes on T-Bag and she falls over, he laughs).
Tow-Ling: What are you laughing at? What have you done with old moany minnie. Huuuuhhhh.
T-Bag: I thought I told you to stay on the ship shorthouse.
Tow-Ling: Look who's talking. Anyway, what happened to you?
T-Bag: I, well, I happened to go on a very severe strict diet. T-Shirt, do something.
T-Shirt: Right, ok, erm.
Tow-Ling: Sweet?
T-Shirt: Oh thanks.
Tow-Ling: There was this magic lamp back there and I wished for those sweets.
T-Shirt: Huh, amazing.
Tow-Ling: And I also wished for... oh no!
T-Shirt: What, what?
Tow-Ling: Nothing, nothing.
T-Shirt: Come on, what?
Tow-Ling: Forget it, forget it.
T-Shirt: Tow-Ling.
Tow-Ling: I wished that T-Bag would be cut down to size.
T-Bag: Whaaaaaaaaaaat? I'll throttle him, I'll marmalize him, I'll. I'll...
T-Shirt: Now, now, now, that's not going to help is it? How many wishes did that lamp have?
Tow-Ling: Three I guess, I only used two.
T-Shirt: Well it's obvious isn't it? We better get back there, find that lamp and use the last wish to get madam back to her normal size, although it is tempting, huh.
T-Bag: T-Shirt.
T-Shirt: Alright, alright. We better hide you somewhere for safety. I've got it (he scoops T-Bag into the box of sweets), how's that? Comfy in there?
T-Bag: My favourite.

Added: 04/04/2017

"Audio Problems"
As T-Bag and T-Shirt are arguing, after Tow-ling wishes for Liquorice Allsorts, T-Bag says 'I wish Id never had started' you can see a microphone at the top of the screen (above T-Bag's head in the palm tree foliage) for a second before it pops out of view.

For more mistakes from other episodes, please see the Nitpicker's Guide

  • Norman Mitchell, who played Sultan Bagwash, sadly passed away on 19th March 2001, aged 82.
  • Alex Bartlette appeared in Spatz which was also written by Lee Pressman and Grant Cathro. Alex Bartlette appeared in the episode 'Time and Efficiency' (#2.3, 24/01/1991) as Mr. Pashby.
  • Alex Bartlette also wrote several episodes of Mike & Angelo alongside Lee Pressman and Grant Cathro.

  • Norman Mitchell, who plays Sultan Bagwash, appears in two episodes throughout the nine series of T-Bag. This is his second of his two appearances. At 70 episodes Norman Mitchell has the longest running number of episodes between his two appearances of any guest actor of the series. Norman Mitchell again plays the character of a Sultan.
    (T-Bag Strikes Again, Episode 5: Ali Barber)
  • Sultan Bagwash appears as a party guest later in this series during episode ten; this was filmed during filming of episode two.
    (Take off with T. Bag, Episode 10: Shangri-La)
  • Alex Bartlette, who plays Ali, appears in two episodes throughout the nine series of T-Bag. This is his second of his two appearances.
    (T. Bag and The Rings of Olympus, Episode 2: Bandits)
  • This is one of two episodes where the word thief appears in the episode title.
    (T-Bag Bounces Back, Episode 9: Nikdit The Thief)
  • Ali tries to sell the latest fictional Sinbad video which is also the name of Omar's budgie, Sinbad, in an episode of T-Bag Bounces Back.
    (T-Bag Bounces Back, Episode 2: Nights In Arabia)
  • This episode features a mention of a place in the UK which happens in several other episodes, this episode features Ali mentioning Lewisham.
    (T. Bag and The Sunstones of Montezuma, Episode 1: In The Footsteps Of Kit Bag)
    (T. Bag and The Sunstones of Montezuma, Episode 7: One Million Years B.C.)
    (Take off with T. Bag, Episode 1: Many Happy Returns)
    (Take off with T. Bag, Episode 9: The Red Shoes)
    (Take off with T. Bag, Episode 10: Shangri-La)
  • T-Shirt, after listening to Ali saying that anyone can be a snake charmer, says 'Cobras' but Ali reassures him that it's true. A similar scene plays out with T-Bag and Thug in T. Bag and The Sunstones of Montezuma.
    (T. Bag and The Sunstones of Montezuma, Episode 7: One Million Years B.C.)