Take Off With T. Bag Episode 2: Thief Of Baghdad

T-Bag arrives at a bazaar in Baghdad where a Sultan buys a flying carpet from Ali’s Store. When Tow-Ling makes a wish on a magic lamp at the bazaar to make T-Bag shrink, T-Shirt and Tow-Ling have to go back to the bazaar to get the lamp but the Sultan has already taken it.
The High-T Website synopsis

Pick it, stick it, dunk it, junk it

Tow-Ling: Right, I think I've got it now.
T-Shirt: Go for it Tow-Ling, you can do it.
T-Bag: Oh get on with it will you, I'm gasping here.
Tow-Ling: Er, so, pick it, stick it, dunk it, junk it. There, how's that?
T-Shirt: Mmm, not bad, you're getting there.
T-Bag: I'll be the judge of that, do you mind, give me that tea.
T-Shirt: No, no, no, I think we'll try it one more time.
T-Bag: I must have been out of my mind bringing you along, you little half baked driblet. Ha, I mean, what do they teach you at this tea-making academy these days.
Tow-Ling: Tea's up your Majesty.
T-Bag: Thank you. (T-Bag takes a sip of tea and starts coughing) Oh you idiot!

Added: 04/04/2015

This recession

T-Bag: I don't see any sign of my birthday surprise.
T-Shirt: Well, give us a break, we've only been here two seconds.
Ali: And now Ladies and Gentlemen what am I bid for this exquisite hand painted 24 piece tea... (drops two cups) 22 piece tea service? Sir, Madam. Ah, beautiful lady, now I've gazed on the face of an angel I can die a happy man.
T-Bag: Go kiss a scorpion, you fuzzhead.
Ali: Baubles, bangles, bracelets.
T-Bag: A bunch of five, if you don't get outta my way.
Ali: Young sir, anyone can learn to be a snake charmer, even you.
T-Shirt: Cobras.
Ali: No it's true, honest.
T-Bag: T-Shirt.
T-Shirt: Sorry but I have to...
Ali: This recession, when will it ever end? Sheba?

Added: 04/04/2014

Traipsing Around

T-Bag: Hours and hours we’ve been traipsing around this (sniffs) foul place and what for? Not even a sausage, not even a party-sized, miniature, cocktail-sticked chipolata; nothing. Oh I’ve had enough.
T-Shirt: Don’t stop yet!
T-Bag: I wish I’d never had started.

Auditioning for the part of Thumbelina

T-Bag: Help!
T-Shirt: Stop whining and come on.
T-Bag: Help!
T-Shirt: What? Where did you...
T-Bag: Help! T-Shirt.
T-Shirt: Hello.
T-Bag: Oh, the boy's a pinhead. Oi, down here you bean-brained idiot.
T-Shirt: Flipping heck, well what are you doing down here?
T-Bag: Well what does it look like, auditioning for the part of Thumbelina, how should I know? Oh shut up, or I'll, or I'll...
T-Shirt: Or you'll what exactly?
(He breathes on T-Bag and she falls over, he laughs).
Tow-Ling: What are you laughing at? What have you done with old moany minnie. Huuuuhhhh.
T-Bag: I thought I told you to stay on the ship shorthouse.
Tow-Ling: Look who's talking. Anyway, what happened to you?
T-Bag: I, well, I happened to go on a very severe strict diet. T-Shirt, do something.
T-Shirt: Right, ok, erm.
Tow-Ling: Sweet?
T-Shirt: Oh thanks.
Tow-Ling: There was this magic lamp back there and I wished for those sweets.
T-Shirt: Huh, amazing.
Tow-Ling: And I also wished for... oh no!
T-Shirt: What, what?
Tow-Ling: Nothing, nothing.
T-Shirt: Come on, what?
Tow-Ling: Forget it, forget it.
T-Shirt: Tow-Ling.
Tow-Ling: I wished that T-Bag would be cut down to size.
T-Bag: Whaaaaaaaaaaat? I'll throttle him, I'll marmalize him, I'll. I'll...
T-Shirt: Now, now, now, that's not going to help is it? How many wishes did that lamp have?
Tow-Ling: Three I guess, I only used two.
T-Shirt: Well it's obvious isn't it? We better get back there, find that lamp and use the last wish to get madam back to her normal size, although it is tempting, huh.
T-Bag: T-Shirt.
T-Shirt: Alright, alright. We better hide you somewhere for safety. I've got it (he scoops T-Bag into the box of sweets), how's that? Comfy in there?
T-Bag: My favourite.

Added: 04/04/2017

You're fired Tow-Ling

Tow-Ling: Dunk it, junk it. There you go your Majesty.
T-Bag: Thank you. Hmm, yeah, not bad, not bad, hmm. You're getting there.
T-Shirt: Oh no, we must have broken a pipe when we crash landed. Tow-Ling, where did you get the water to fill the kettle with?
Tow-Ling: Oh there was some in that bowl so I used that.
T-Shirt: You wally, that was the water I used to wash my socks in this morning.
T-Bag: (Splutters) Oh, you idiot, you're fired Tow-Ling.

Added: 04/04/2024