T. Bag And The Rings Of Olympus Episode 8: Leonardo

The Duke of Florence is having his picture painted by Leonardo Da Vinci. The Duke has the next gold ring on his hat. Later Leonardo does a picture of T-Bag but when the pictures get muddled up T-Bag knows where to get the next ring.
The High-T Website synopsis

T-Bag visits the Duke of Florence but a love potion put in the Duke’s drink gives her more than she bargained for.
TV Times listing

T-Bag decides to visit the Duke and T-Shirt gets amorous.
Lookin listing

Adventure series. T-Bag decides to visit the Duke.
Radio Times listing

Next week, Polly finds herself in Florence. Will T. Bag get her portrait painted or will Leonardo pose a problem? Will affairs of the art lead to affairs of the heart? Will Polly get the next gold ring or will the Duke give her the brush off? Find out in next weeks colourful episode of T. Bag and the Rings of Olympus.
Next week preview (from previous episode)

This week, Polly finds herself in Florence. Will affairs of the art lead to affairs of the heart? Will Polly get the next gold ring or will the Duke give her the brush off? Stay tuned to T. Bag and the Rings of Olympus.
Stay tuned preview (from start of episode)

It's a masterpiece

Duke: Are you not finished yet you old boo-boo? Ow-oo-oo-oh, mamma mia, I have got the cramps, the pins and the needles and the blisters on the backsides sitting here all day like a big idioto!
Leonardo: Almost done now your highness, just one more little er, (he mumbles as he finishes the painting) finito benito (he laughs).
Duke: (Laughs) Thank the heavens for that. Ohhhh, this a picture it had better be good.
Leonardo: It's a masterpiece although I say so myself. Come, see.
Duke: Ohhhhhhhhhh, bella, bella, bella, magnifico.
Leonardo: It's a not a bad eh?
Duke: Oooh, you handsome devil you.
Leonardo: Grazie, very much.
Duke: Not you, you fool, him, me. Ci, ci, you have definitely caught my dazzling good looks, ha ha, Leonardo, congratulations.
Leonardo: Ah, prego, prego, heh.
Duke: This will go very nicely with all the other portraits of me in my palace.
Leonardo: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, ha, ha, ha! I must frame it for you, a beautiful frame, for a beautiful painting.
Duke: Of a beautiful man, mwah.
Leonardo: Quite, quite.
Duke: Well I am afraid I can not wait, I am a busy man. Have it sent a round to my palace when it is ready.
Leonardo: My greatest pleasure your highness.
Duke: Then charge it to my account. Well I must a fly. Arrivederci, arrivederci.
Leonardo: Arrivederci my Duke, ci.

Added: 04/04/2017

My artistic talents

(T-Shirt is painting a portrait of T-Bag with a red face).
T-Bag: Oh this is wasting time, you idiot. We should be finding out what that Polly peewee thing is up to.
T-Shirt: Done.
T-Bag: Hmm, let's see.
T-Shirt: One day this'll be worth a packet.
T-Bag: Urrhh, a packet of peanuts. Rubbish! My face is not that colour.
T-Shirt: I can soon fix that.
(T-Shirt daubs paint on T-Bag’s face).
T-Bag: Urrrrrrhhhhhhhh! What are you doing?
T-Shirt: Will you keep still? Do you want to look like this picture or not?
T-Bag: Huuuurhhh, you idiot! I knew you'd make a dogs dinner out of it.
T-Shirt: Charming, well if you're not satisfied with my artistic talents get yourself some other Charlie to do it.
T-Bag: Yes I will.
T-Shirt: Oh yeah, who?
(T-Bag looks in the saucer and sees Leonardo).
T-Bag: Huurhhh. Him.

Added: 04/04/2024

Déjà vu

T-Bag: Oh, can't you paint any quicker you old codger? I've got pressing matters to attend to.
Leonardo: One can not rush great art Signora.
T-Bag: I'll double your fee.
(Leonardo hums to himself as he rushes to finish the portrait).
Leonardo: There, finito, it's done, la.
T-Bag: About time. Oh by the way I hope you remembered to feed your cat this morning.
Leonardo: Why?
T-Bag: Because if that painting's a load of old tosh you're going to end up in the fracture clinic for the next five months. Got it? Out of my way. (T-Bag sees her portrait) Ohhhhhhhhh, arrrrrrhhhh, ooohhhhhh.
Leonardo: You like?
T-Bag: I like, oh yes, I like a lot. Not bad for a old codger. Here's your money.
Leonardo: Ahh.
T-Bag: I'll take it.
Leonardo: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
T-Bag: What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what?
Leonardo: I must frame it for you, a beautiful frame, for a beautiful painting.
T-Bag: Of a beautiful lady.
Leonardo: Quite, I just had a déjà vu.
T-Bag: I'm not interested in your private life. I'll send someone along later to collect the portrait.
Leonardo: Arrivederci.
T-Bag: Harry who?
Leonardo: Arrivederci.
T-Bag: No, his name is T-Shirt. Get it ready or we're talking skinny moggins, get me?
Leonardo: Got you.
T-Bag: Grazie.
(T-Bag disappears).
Leonardo: Arrrrrrrrgghh.

Added: 04/04/2014

Your script writers

T-Bag: I'm back, Oh there’s work to be done.
T-Shirt: 2, 3, 4...
T-Bag and T-Shirt: Make me a cup of tea, you idiot, and I don't mean tomorrow.
T-Shirt: Can't your script writers come up with something a bit more original than that? 5, 6, 7, 8...
T-Bag and T-Shirt: Seven of those blasted things she's got, seven, and it's all your fault you stupid boy, ourgghhh, idiot!

Peas for lunch

T-Shirt: Are you Leonardo?
Leonardo: Are you from the tax office?
T-Shirt: No.
Leonardo: Yes, I am Leonardo.
T-Shirt: Perfect, I just popped in to pick up a picture. The painting I popped in to pick up is a portrait of a pal who’s a pain in the pants. Sorry about that, we had peas for lunch.
Leonardo: Arhh. Ci ci, the lady.
T-Shirt: The lady, well close.
Leonardo: Take it, it’s all yours senior.
T-Shirt: Merci beaucoup monsieur.
Leonardo: What?
T-Shirt: That’s your actual French.
Leonardo: But this is your actual Italy.
T-Shirt: Well if you don’t tell anyone, I won’t.

I can't wait to see myself again

Polly: Erm, er, Duke, I've brought your picture for you.
Duke: Ah, marvellous, I can't wait to see myself again.
Polly: Er, actually that wasn't the real reason I came. Erm, you see that gold ring thing on your hat, well do you think I...
Duke: Multi-Stromboli, what is this? Are you trying to take the Michelangelo or something?
Polly: What?
Duke: Who is this dreadful woman?
Polly: It's T-Bag.
Duke: What have you done with my beautiful painting?
Polly: Wha, I mean, I don't know, all I did was...
Duke: Get out of my sight. Leonardo, avanti, avanti.
Polly: Duke, the ring, oh!

Added: 04/04/2017

A small inkling

T-Bag: Well lumpet, what do you think? It looks just like me, doesn't it?
T-Shirt: Well? I'm not sure about the beard and moustache.
T-Bag: What?
(T-Shirt turns the portrait round).
T-Bag: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?! You idiot, get back there and get me the right one before I..... huuuuurrrgghhhhh. Look, look, the next gold ring, oh this flabby old lumpet has got the next gold ring, right. You know what you've got to do, don't you?
T-Shirt: I've got a small inkling.
T-Bag: Oh that's your problem. Come, the game is afoot.

Added: 04/04/2014

Your Portrait Returned

T-Bag: Oh Dukey, yu-hoo-oo, oh Dukey.
Duke: Who are you?
T-Bag: Your portrait, returned.
Duke: Ah good, about time.
T-Bag: Oh good grief you’re even more good looking in the flesh than you are in your picture.
Duke: Yes I know.
T-Bag: Oh Dukey darling I could really go for a man like you.
Duke: Then go, go, go. Don’t you understand woman, I can’t fall in love again, not now, not in a million years, never, never, never.
T-Bag: Shall I take that as a no then?

Love pellets

T-Bag: Ohhh, why can't I meet any normal people? Ohhh.
(T-Bag makes a small bag appear on the table).
T-Shirt: Hey, what are those?
T-Bag: What do you think? They're love pellets.
T-Shirt: Love pellets?
T-Bag: Love pellets, power packed pills for pepping up people's passions.
T-Shirt: We should never had those peas for lunch.
T-Bag: Come with me and all will be revealed.

Added: 04/04/2015

Is there anything else that could possibly go wrong?

T-Shirt: My love, where did you go? Come back to me.
T-Bag: Oh you raving idiot. All that effort for nothing. How could you give that ring back to that dreary girl?
T-Shirt: Because I love her, I'll love her 'til the day I die.
T-Bag: Which may be sooner than you think. Ohhhh, what a day, what a day, is there anything else that could possibly go wrong? (T-Bag’s portrait falls off the wall hitting T-Bag) Arrgghhhhh, ohhhh, ohhhh, ohhhhh.

Added: 04/04/2023