Take Off With T. Bag Episode 7: Phantom Of The Opera

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Episode 1Many Happy Returns
Episode 2Thief Of Baghdad
Episode 3Bagsy Malone
Episode 4Curse Of The Mummy
Episode 5Doctor Strangebag
Episode 6Antony and Cleopatra
Episode 7Phantom Of The Opera
Episode 8Bin Bag
Episode 9The Red Shoes
Episode 10Shangri-La

UK Air Date27/10/1992, 4.15pm
Repeat ScreeningN/A
Copyright Year1992
VTR Dateunknown
Fremantle Archive Ref56887 (series ref)
Consecutive Episode Number91
IMDB LinkEpisode page

T. Bag (Tabatha Bag)Georgina Hale
T. ShirtJohn Hasler
Tow-Ling ShirtBea Julakasiun
Olwyn De BagJan Ravens
Fritz Schnitzel/
The Phantom
Duncan Preston

Make UpChristine Morrell
CostumeJo Allman
CamerasAlbert Almond
SoundJohn Osborne
Stage ManagerBobby Webber
Lighting DirectorStuart Gain
Production AssistantGill Thomas
Video Tape EditorTom Kavanagh
Production DesignerAlex Clarke
ProducerCharles Warren
DirectorNeville Green
Written ByLee Pressman
Grant Cathro

T-Bag arrives at a Vienna opera where many accidents have occurred so the place is said to be haunted by a phantom. When the soprano is kidnapped by the Phantom of the Opera T-Bag takes her place. The Phantom hears her singing so he tries to stop her singing in the opera by setting a trap. Can T-Shirt and Tow-Ling rescue Olwyn De Bag the soprano and will T-Bag find her birthday surprise?
The High-T Website synopsis

On Stage

The Phantom and Olwyn

Use The Key

My Twin Brother

For more images see the Image Galleries

If you would like to contribute your favourite/funniest etc quotes from this episode please contact me.


(T-Bag is singing off screen)
Tow-Ling Shirt: How long is this going on? I can't stand much more.
T-Shirt: Think yourself lucky she only has a bath once a month.
(T-Bag walks in still singing)
T-Bag: Oh I do hope you weren't referring to my singing.
T-Shirt: Oh, singing, that's what it was, I thought a lovesick moose was running amock in a bagpipe testing factory.
T-Bag: Oh Shirty, when they made you they threw away the mould but the mould kept growing and growing over that rotten thing you call a brain.
T-Shirt: Sorry did you say something?
T-Bag: Tow-Ling, make me a cup of tea and I don't mean tomorrow! Oh I'm gasping, by the way you didn't tell me what you thought of my singing.
Tow-Ling Shirt: Smashing!

Added: 04/04/2012

Hardly befitting for a member of the Royal T-Set

T-Bag: This is hardly befitting for a member of the Royal T-Set.
T-Shirt: Oh sorry, it's the only cup in the place you didn't manage to break.
Tow-Ling: Coming into land your Majesty. Looks like Vienna.
T-Bag: Oh Vienna, very cultured (slurps tea), very sophisticated (slurps tea), very me (slurps tea).

Added: 04/04/2017

Sing for me

Olwyn de Bag: La, la, la, la, la, la, la. La, la, la, la, la, la, la. (The Phantom walks through the mirror into the star dressing room) L'urh. Oh! Oh!
Phantom: Carry on my dear, I was so enjoying your little performance.
Olwyn de Bag: Who? What?
Phantom: Don't be afraid.
Olwyn de Bag: I...
Phantom: I will not harm you, I only desire you to sing for me.
Olwyn de Bag: Leave me alone.
Phantom: Sing for me.
Olwyn de Bag: Go away.
Phantom: Sing for me.
Olwyn de Bag: Please.
Phantom: Sing for me.
Olwyn de Bag (In song): L'amour, l'amour, l'amour, l'amour. L'amour est t'enfant de bohème.

Added: 04/04/2015

My last performance in the Flugelfurt opera house

T-Bag: Oh there's nothing like treading the old boards again, takes me back to my days in the RAC.
Tow-Ling Shirt: Doesn't she mean RSC?
T-Shirt: No she was covered for breakdowns, relays and home-starts.
T-Bag: They're still talking about my last performance in the Flugelfurt opera house.
T-Shirt: That's true, during the interval she had half a pint of largo, came on in the second half completely pizzicato.
T-Bag: Get off this stage, you uncultured twerp. You wouldn't know your arias from your elbows. Go find me my birthday surprise and I don't mean tomorrow.
T-Shirt: Come on...

Added: 04/04/2012

Caterwauling Cacophony

(T-Bag's singing can be heard the background).
Phantom: Bravo, bravo. Listen, what's that?
Olwyn de Bag: I don't know and I don't care.
Phantom: I can hear singing, if you can call that caterwauling cacophony singing. That old fool, Schnitzel, has got himself another soprano, blast him. He needs to be taught a little lesson and I am a very, very good teacher.
(The Phantom laughs as he leaves).
Olwyn de Bag: Oh no, no. Whoever you are, I beg you.

Added: 04/04/2018

The diva

T-Shirt: What on earth are you doing?
T-Bag: What do you think I'm doing, building the Suez canal, idiot!
Tow-Ling: We've searched the whole theatre and no sign of your birthday surprise.
T-Bag: Well, you'll just have to search a bit more won't you shorthouse.
Tow-Ling: Aren't you gonna help?
T-Bag: How dare you, what do you think I'm doing, I'm rehearsing an opera, will you kindly both vacate my stage and allow me to brush up my bolero.
T-Shirt: Sounds painful, come on Tow-Ling let's leave the diva in peace.

Added: 04/04/2012

T-Shirt wears his 'Shirty Something' T-Shirt throughout most the episode during scenes in the operahouse but in the first and last scenes in the flying saucer he is wearing the 'Full Metal T-Shirt' T-Shirt.

For more mistakes from other episodes, please see the Nitpicker's Guide

  • Jan Ravens is best known as one of the impressionists from the BBC Radio and TV series Dead Ringers.
  • The name of the character Olywn De Bag, is a play-on-words for 'Old Windbag'.
  • Behind the scenes footage of this episode was filmed by Lee Pressman and is available to watch as an extra on the reunion DVD documentary released by Fantom Films in September 2007.
  • This is the only episode of this series where T-shirt wears both his 'Shirty Something' and 'Full Metal T-Shirt' T-Shirts. He wears the 'Shirty Something' T-Shirt throughout most the episode in scenes in the operahouse but in the first and last scenes in the flying saucer he is wearing the 'Full Metal T-Shirt' T-Shirt.
  • Duncan Preston appeared in Spatz which was also written by Lee Pressman and Grant Cathro. Duncan Preston appeared in the episode 'Loot' (#2.11, 21/03/1991) as Peter Jonathan.
  • Jan Ravens appeared in Spatz which was also written by Lee Pressman and Grant Cathro. Jan Ravens appeared in the episode 'The Curse of Karen' (#3.5, 27/03/1992) as Pippa Dee.
  • Jan Ravens appeared in B & B which was also written by Lee Pressman and Grant Cathro. Jan Ravens appeared in the programme as Carol Dudley.

  • T-Bag mentions her time performing at the Royal Flugelfurt Opera House, referring to T. Bag's Christmas Ding-Dong.
    (T. Bag's Christmas Ding-Dong)
  • During this episode Tabatha Bag uses one of her ‘stock’ phrases of ‘Make me a cup of tea and I don’t mean tomorrow’, which is used throughout the Tabatha Bag series and was also used by Tallulah Bag.
    (T-Bag Strikes Again, Episode 10: The Magic Garden)
    (T. Bag and The Pearls of Wisdom, Episode 6: The Ghost of Castle McCarr)
    (T. Bag and The Rings of Olympus, Episode 8: Leonardo)
    (T. Bag and The Sunstones of Montezuma, Episode 7: One Million Years B.C.)