T. Bag And The Pearls Of Wisdom Episode 6: The Ghost Of Castle McCarr

Sally arrives in the Scottish highlands where a haunted castle is. Will Sally find the pearl in the haunted castle with the Phantom Piper?
The High-T Website synopsis

When Sally arrives in Scotland and meets up with Dora McCarr and son Robbie, she doesn’t have the ghost of a chance of finding the pearls.
TV Times listing

In the next episode Sally takes the high road to the highlands in search of the next missing pearl. What lurks in the castle on the hill. What is T-Bag up to this time? Is there a ghost of a chance that Sally will find the pearl? Find out in T. Bag and the Pearls of Wisdom.
Next week preview (from previous episode)

Today Sally takes the high road to the highlands in search of the next missing pearl. What lurks in the castle on the hill? What is T-Bag up to this time? Is there a ghost of a chance that Sally will find the pearl? Find out now.
Stay tuned preview (from start of episode)

Bonnie Scotland was our next port of call, Sally took the high road and we took the low road and she got the next pearl before us. Now she's got five of the pearls but we weren't beaten yet.
Pearls of Wisdom video - T-Shirt's summary

Eight sumo wrestlers

T-Bag: Oh my head, my poor head.
T-Shirt: Oh, how are your feeling now?
T-Bag: Oh I feel as though there's eight sumo wrestlers with hobnail boots on Morris dancing inside my head.
T-Shirt: You got a headache?
T-Bag: Oh go to the top of the class and jump off. Have you any idea, oughhh, what it feels like to go through what I've gone through?
T-Shirt: No.
T-Bag: Oh, so shut up and get me a cuppa tea. (T-Shirt switches the Radio on and loud music begins) Auurrrghhhhhh!

Added: 04/04/2017

What a strange story

Sally: So you see I've got to get all the pearls of wisdom but I haven't got a clue where they're going to turn up next.
Dora McCarr: (She giggles) What a strange story.
Sally: I don't suppose you've...
Dora McCarr: Pearls? Oh, oh, no my dear, there are no pearls here.
Sally: How about in the castle?
Dora McCarr: The castle? Oooouhh, the Castle McCarr.
Sally: What?
Dora McCarr: Oooohh, you can not go to the Castle McCarr.
Sally: It's not really haunted, is it?
Dora McCarr: Ooooh, lassie.
Sally: Have you seen the ghost?
Dora McCarr: Well, I haven't seen it for my self but my son, Robbie, he's seen it. Ooh, I wouldn't put a foot in the place, it used to belong to my ancestors, but there's nobody lives there now. Ah and you're not to be going to the Castle McCarr.
Sally: But if...
Dora McCarr: Now look you, it'll be dark soon. So why don't you spend the night with us and I'll help you look for your pearl in the morning.
Sally: That's very kind of you Dora.
Dora McCarr: Good, so come in and have some tea and I'll fix you up a bed for the night.
Sally: Great.

Added: 04/04/2021

The official Castle McCarr guide book

Sally: Ohhhh! You gave me a fright.
Rob McCarr: I see you're admiring the Castle McCarr by moonlight. Magnificent, isn't it?
Sally: It is. Have you really seen a ghost there?
Rob McCarr: Aye, aye, I have.
Sally: Tell me about it.
Rob McCarr: It was... Bizarre. A weird ghostly figure, floating in the air, playing the bagpipes before my very eyes.
Sally: Amazing.
Rob McCarr: It was. Amazing. And as I stood there with my jaw hanging open and my knee caps knocking, the hideous, red-bearded apparition went sailing straight through the wall, as if it wasn' even there.
Sally: Weird.
Rob McCarr: It was, very weird. But then what do you expect if you pay a visit to Castle McCarr. You can read all about it in the official Castle McCarr guide book. A snip at only fifty pee.

Added: 04/04/2015

The Gory Story Hour

T-Shirt: There, now I can listen to the Gory Story Hour.
Grizzly Thwack (on the radio): That was the Gory Story Hour, featuring your ghostly host Grizzly Thwack, the man in black, ha ha hah ha hah ha ha ha, tune in next week.
T-Shirt: Thanks a bundle T-Bag. (He sees Sally in the saucer) Sally. She's supposed to be asleep. Your majesty, your majesty, come quickly your majesty.
(T-Bag snores).
T-Shirt: Get up quick, hurry.
T-Bag: (Snores again) Oh let go of my arm.
T-Shirt: But look, Sally's up and about, we might be missing something.
T-Bag: I thought I told you not to disturb me.
T-Shirt: I thought it might be important.
T-Bag: Can't you use your own initiative for once. I mean, do I always have to do every single thing myself?
T-Shirt: Well, what can I do?
T-Bag: Get down there, keep tabs on her, oh use a bit of gumption for crying out loud.
T-Shirt: Right, erm, you go back to bed, leave this to me, I'll handle everything. You can always count on me.

Added: 04/04/2016

An inflatable haggis

Rob McCarr: Oh!
T-Shirt: Good evening.
Rob McCarr: Where did you spring from laddie?
T-Shirt: Just visiting.
Rob McCarr: Visiting, a tourist eh? Well no doubt you'll be wanting to buy a touring map of the Highlands.
T-Shirt: Er, no thanks.
Rob McCarr: A tin of homemade highland shortcake. Some tartan legwarmers, an inflatable haggis.
T-Shirt: Did you see where that girl went?
Rob McCarr: What? Eh?
T-Shirt: The girl, where is she?
Rob McCarr: Ooooooh, she's gone over yonder to visit the haunted Castle McCarr.
T-Shirt: Haunted?
Rob McCarr: Aye, I could arrange a guided tour, if you like, featuring all the spookiest spots, with a guaranteed appearance of the Phantom Piper, and a cream tea thrown in to boot. And all for only fifty pee.
T-Shirt: Erm, yeah, maybe later. I'll be back.
Rob McCarr: Och no, I'd should buy them now if I were you. They're going fast.

Added: 04/04/2014

You were right about the ghost

Dora McCarr: So then, what happened?
Sally: I don't know, I didn't wait to find out.
Rob McCarr: Aye, maybe now you believe what I said last night.
Sally: I must admit you were right about the ghost.
Rob McCarr: Aye, and when you go home and tell your friends about it, they'll all come flocking up here to see it for themselves.
Dora McCarr: Urh, urm.
Sally: Dora, I've got to go back there.
Dora McCarr: Oh mercy me lassie, why?
Sally: I've got to find that pearl... Hurh, and I can't help thinking... it's got to be there.

Added: 04/04/2025

Make me a cup of tea, and I don't mean tomorrow

(T-Bag walks into the T-Room and T-Shirt is asleep on the chair).
T-Bag: Good morning, good morning, good morning. You'll be pleased to know I'm feeling...
(She turns on the stereo which begins to play loud music which causes T-Shirt to wake up).
T-Shirt: Ohhhhh, oh. What's the big idea?
T-Bag: Oh, boot's on the other foot now, isn't it? How long have you been asleep?
T-Shirt: I wasn't asleep, I was just looking at the inside of my eyelids.
T-Bag: Ohhhhh, a likely story. Right, make me a cup of tea, and I don't mean tomorrow! Right, if that Sally smugface pee-wee pants has got another one of those blasted pearls, I'll wring your neck.
T-Shirt: No chance. She was scared outta her socks when she saw that ghost last night.
T-Bag: Ohhhh, and you weren't I suppose, uh. Come on, come on, where's my tea?
T-Shirt: It's coming.
T-Bag: Oh, ghosts, ghosts, what a load of drivel. Thank you (he passes her the cup of tea and she starts to drink it). Hmmm. Oh, oh, divine, divine, right. Now down to business.

Added: 04/04/2024

Watching your silly shenanigans

Sally: So you see there isn't a ghost at all. It's a trick.
Dora McCarr: Yes but what, who would want to do such a thing?
(T-Bag and T-Shirt appear).
T-Bag: Sally Simpkins, are you here?
T-Shirt: She's not here, can we go now?
T-Bag: No. We've got to find that pearl before she does.
T-Shirt: But what about the ghost?
T-Bag: Ghost, rubbish, my left foot. (Bagpipe music begins) Uh, what's that?
T-Shirt: Ehh, it's the Piper, it's the Phantom Piper, he's back. Oh let's get outta here.
T-Bag: No, ooooough.
T-Shirt: What did I tell you?
T-Bag: Ourgghhhh.
Sally (as the Phantom Piper): Tabatha Bag, Tabatha Bag.
T-Bag: Ouughhhh.
Sally (as the Phantom Piper): I have come to haunt you Tabatha Bag, for all the evil wicked things you have done to that poor little Sally Simpkins. You will go from here now, or else I will come and torment you for the rest of your life. Do you hear me?
T-Bag: Ouhhhhh, hear you.
Sally (as the Phantom Piper): Then go, go, go.
(T-Bag and T-Shirt disappear then Rob enters).
Dora McCarr: Robbie!
Sally: So it was you, I might have known. This is just a big con to attract the tourists so you can sell them your souvenirs, isn't it?
Dora McCarr: Oh Robbie, how could you?
Rob McCarr: I'm sorry Mother, but a man has to make a living (bagpipe music begins), and you know how poor we are. It's alright, you can turn that thing off now.
Sally: It is off.
Rob McCarr: What?
Dora McCarr: Look!
(The ghost of Granny McCarr appears).
Sally: Ooouhhh.
Rob McCarr: Oooughhhh.
Granny McCarr: Oooooh, don't be alarmed, I haven't come to frighten you.
Dora McCarr: It's old Granny McCarr.
Rob McCarr: Granny McCarr.
Granny McCarr: Aye, I been watching your silly shenanigans, surely you can't be that hard up.
Rob McCarr: Oh but we are Granny, we are.
Granny McCarr: Oh well, in that case, I better let you in to a wee secret. Take a look behind the picture there of your Great Uncle Hamish. Ohhhhhh, time to go, tatty bye, tatty bye.
(The ghost of Granny McCarr disappears and Rob moves the portrait to find a metal tin full of jewels and coins).
Dora McCarr: Ohhhhhh mercy me, the McCarr family fortune.
Rob McCarr: And now it's all ours, yahoo.
Dora McCarr: Aye, all except this. And this is for you.
Sally: Oh thanks Dora.

Added: 04/04/2025

Oh, go and blow your blasted bagpipes

T-Bag: Oh-uh-oh, noooooo.
T-Shirt: Oh well, (T-Bag whimpers) never mind, we got a free set of bagpipes out of it.
T-Bag: Oh, go and blow your blasted bagpipes.
T-Shirt: Alright (T-Shirt begins to play the bagpipes).

Added: 04/04/2022