T. Bag And The Pearls Of Wisdom Episode 10: The Pearls Of Wisdom

At the foreign legion fort the children are preparing to go back to square one of the game to find Captain Cockle but will T-Bag stop them in time?
The High-T Website synopsis

In the next episode Sally and T-Shirt return to square one. Will the Pearls of Wisdom do their stuff? Is this really the end of T-Bag? Find out in T. Bag and the Pearls of Wisdom.
Next week preview (from previous episode)

Today Sally and T-Shirt return to square one. Will the Pearls of Wisdom do their stuff? Have the children finally saved the day? Is this really the end of T-Bag?
Stay tuned preview (from start of episode)

Not so fast kiddywinks

T-Shirt: Right Sal, all set?
Sally: Yes, we've got all the pearls, now let's get back and give them to Captain Cockle.
(T-Bag appears).
T-Bag: Not so fast kiddywinks, you're not going anywhere.
Sally: T-Shirt run!
(T-Shirt and Sally run off).
T-Bag: Ah. Oh run, run, see where it gets you, running back to your darling Captain Cockle are you? Don't you realise that I can beat you just by doing... Oh rats, rats, come on, come on. Oh my tea was useless, well there's only one thing for it.
(T-Bag runs after them).

Added: 04/04/2018

Back to square one

Captain Cockle: Oh dear, oh dear, oh dearie me.
Sally: Captain.
T-Shirt: Captain Cockle.
Sally: We’re back.
Captain Cockle: Glory be.
T-Shirt: And we’ve got the pearls.
Sally: All nine of them, it’s alright he’s on our side.
Captain Cockle: Good lad, well done both of you. It can’t have been easy.
Sally: You’re not kidding. We’ve crossed the desert…
T-Shirt: and the sea…
Sally: and we met Robyn Hood…
T-Shirt: and a ghost…
Sally: and I got locked in Jail.
Captain Cockle: Well I must say, it all sounds amazing, tell me about it all later. First we must put pay to Tabatha Bag.
Sally: Right.
T-Shirt: I’ll second that.

Added: 08/11/2010

Treasures and souvenirs

(T-Bag is dressed up in some of the Captain’s clothes with a hat covering most of her face).
T-Bag: Oh, belay there Cap'n.
Captain Cockle: Belay there to you an' all my hearty, grand day.
T-Bag: Oh yes, the old sea cook wanting permission to pull alongside and drop anchor.
Captain Cockle: Oh permission granted my dear, my old dearie-o, there take the weight off your old sea legs.
T-Bag: Oh yes, just come back after six months voyage round the cape of Typhoon.
Captain Cockle: Never.
T-Bag: Oh my head's still spinning. You ever been there?
Captain Cockle: Oh there isn't an inch of ocean nor a centimetre of sea that I haven't traversed in my day.
T-Bag: Ohhhhh.
Captain Cockle: I could tell you stories that would make your toes curl.
T-Bag: They're curling already.
Captain Cockle: Ah, would you like a peppermint?
T-Bag: Oh no thank ya Cap'n. You must have brought some mighty treasures and souvenirs.
Captain Cockle: Souvenirs, have I got souvenirs. I got a whale's tooth and I got a lock of hair off a real-life mermaid.
T-Bag: And what about these?
Captain Cockle: Oh these are something special, these are the pearls of wisdom.
T-Bag: Arh, may I look at them?
Captain Cockle: Oh by all means me hearty, yeh, er, help yourself, huh, hah, hah.
(Captain Cockle gives the pearls to T-Bag, Sally and T-Shirt rush in with the compass).
Sally: Captain we've found it.
Captain Cockle: Oh good girl.
T-Shirt: Right, now where's the pearls?
Captain Cockle: Oh they're right here, I was just showing them to this nice old sea faring lady here.
Sally: Hello.
T-Shirt: Hello.
(T-Bag turns around so they can see her).
Sally & T-Shirt: T-Bag!
Captain Cockle: Oh no.
T-Bag: Oh yes. Ha, ha!

Added: 04/04/2024

Well and truly beaten

T-Shirt: Oh, well we can't just sit here moping and moaning. We've got to do something.
Sally: Such as what?
T-Shirt: Well such as... I don't know, erm. Marching up to the lighthouse and bursting in and...
Sally: And then what?
T-Shirt: I don't know.
Sally: We're beaten T-Shirt, let's face it, well and truly beaten.

Added: 04/04/2019

Missed the boat

Captain Cockle: I've got an idea, bit risky mind you but it might just work.
Sally: Well what is it?
Captain Cockle: Oh no, nothing, forget it, 't wouldn't work.
(T-Bag appears).
T-Bag: Well, well, well, what are we all doing hanging around here heh? Missed the boat, huh? Not for the first time!
T-Shirt: Where are the pearls, Bin-Bag?
T-Bag: Oh, funny heh. Up there where you'll never get them. So don't even bother to try. I've surrounded that lighthouse with landmines, Barbed-wire fences and a moat full of killer sharks. So tough luck, checkmates, suckers. I win.
Sally: I hate you T-Bag.
T-Shirt: Me too, with knobs on.
T-Bag: Oh, lovely, lovely, and what about you Captain fishface? Do you hate me as well?
Captain Cockle: There's only one person I hate, that's myself.
T-Bag: Understandable.
Captain Cockle: I'm such an old fool.
T-Bag: True.
Captain Cockle: I should've listened to you in the first place.
Sally: Captain.
T-Shirt: Don't say that.
Captain Cockle: I will say it, I wish I'd never got involved in this whole rotten mess. I should have never even have mentioned the pearls of bloomin' wisdom.
T-Bag: No you shouldn't have.
Sally: But Captain.
Captain Cockle: I should have realised right from the start that you just don't tangle with Tabatha Bag.
T-Bag: Exactly.
Captain Cockle: Specially if you're no more than a silly little school girl.
Sally: Well that's nice.
T-Shirt: Captain.
Captain Cockle: Oh, I've had a belly full of it. I'm fed up with being a old goody, goody gumboots, where's it got me eh?
T-Bag: Where indeed.
Captain Cockle: I should have realised you were right when you said nothing could stop you. I should have listened.
T-Bag: You should.
Sally: I don't believe I'm hearing this, Captain Cockle think what you're saying.
Captain Cockle: I'll tell you what I think shall I? I think you should sling your hook, and that goes for you too sonny boy.
T-Bag: And so say all of us. Do you know, I made a mistake about you Captain, you're not such a bad salt after all.
Captain Cockle: Ohh, bless you for that piece of praise your Majesty. I am right behumbled.
T-Bag: So you should be.
Captain Cockle: And if there's ever anything I can do to help you out don't you hesitate to call on your old Captain Cockle.
T-Bag: Thank you.
Captain Cockle: Better still, let me come and work for you.
T-Shirt: No!
Captain Cockle: I'd work me socks off for you I would, you say it, I'd do it. Just to bask in your glory would be wages enough. Please.
T-Bag: Urhhhhh, no. I don't think so.
Captain Cockle: Let me be your slave your Majesty. I'd work for you all me days.
T-Bag: Hmm, well.
Captain Cockle: I make a darn good cup of tea.
T-Bag: Oh yes, you do, I remember. And I could use a new T-Caddy, the last one was abysmal.
Captain Cockle: Then I'm in?
T-Bag: Very well, you're in.
Captain Cockle: Hah, ha, ha.
T-Bag: But hear this fishface, woe betide you, one false move and you're out.
Captain Cockle: Errrrrgh, I won't make a false move, I won't, I won't.
T-Bag: Alright, we're off.
(T-Bag and Captain Cockle disappear).
T-Shirt & Sally: Captain!

Added: 04/04/2016

A whole different kettle of fish

T-Bag: Oh come and look at this Captain Cockle or Crackle or whatever you name is. Those two little lumps sitting down there in the dumps (laughs). Oh well forget about them, I have other things on my mind. Such as taking over the world.
Captain Cockle: Oh nothing can stop you this time eh?
T-Bag: Oh too true, my old crusty retainer. Too true.
Captain Cockle: Aye, except perhaps oh the silly old pearls.
T-Bag: Oh I have nothing to worry about them, they're well hidden.
Captain Cockle: Only hidden? Ooh, don't you think it would be wise to get rid of 'em altogether, destroy 'em for good.
T-Bag: Don't you think I haven't tried, the blasted things are indestructible.
Captain Cockle: Oh no they ain't.
T-Bag: I'm telling you they are.
Captain Cockle: Of course you're right in a sense. They are indestructible during daylight hours.
T-Bag: What?
Captain Cockle: Oh, now it's night and the moon's out. Oh that's a whole different kettle of fish.
T-Bag: What are you babbling about?
Captain Cockle: Arh, well, it's, it's the moonlight see. It seems to have a funny effect on, on the pearls. It's, it's as if their magical powers go to sleep. Well of course you don't believe me (coughs).
T-Bag: Oh alright, alright, let's give it a bash. Where's my hammer?
Captain Cockle: Ooh no, hammer's no good, you, you, you want to grind them into a dust.
T-Bag: Well alright, alright. Grinder, grinder, grinder. (A grinder appears on the table) Hmm-mm, how's that?
Captain Cockle: Perfect.

Added: 04/04/2020

If only

Sally: Well that's it then, I've failed, T-Bag's won.
T-Shirt: It wasn't your fault Sal.
Sally: If only I...
T-Shirt: Don't say if only. If only isn't going to help.
Sally: Yes but if only. Well you have to admit it's been a waste of time.
(The light from the lighthouse begins to flash).
T-Shirt: I suppose it has. Hey Sally.
Sally: What?
T-Shirt: Look, it's Morse code.
Sally: What does it say?
T-Shirt: We'll soon find out.

Added: 04/04/2025

The Destruction of Tabatha Bag

Captain Cockle has gone over to T-Bag’s side but he tricks her into giving him all the pearls (or so he thinks), when T-Bag is not in the room he sends a message in Morse code to the children down in the village, they hide in the chest with the compass. Captain Cockle tricks T-Bag into magicking his belongings so he can sling his hammock up and be out of her way. T-Bag leaves the room and Sally and T-Shirt emerge from the chest.
Sally: Captain Cockle you had us fooled you know, we really thought you had gone over to T-Bag’s side.
Captain Cockle: As if?
T-Shirt: Brilliant idea that to send us a message to hide in the chest.
Captain Cockle: Ar it came to me in a flash.
(The children laugh)
Captain Cockle: Shushhhh.
Sally: It can’t be true Captain can it? The pearls destroyed?
Captain Cockle: Peppermint, it was my peppermint I ground up not the pearls (Sally takes a taste of the powder) I switched them over when her nibs weren’t watching.
T-Shirt: You crafty old soul.
Captain Cockle: You’ve brought the Captains compass we’ve got to work quickly now. (He starts putting the pearls onto the compass) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8...
Sally: What’s wrong?
Captain Cockle: There’s only eight there should be nine, there’s one missing.
T-Shirt: Well where is it?
Captain Cockle: I must have dropped it have a look round and see.
(They search frantically on the floor for the elusive pearl. Then suddenly T-Bag walks into the T-Room in front of Captain Cockle!).
T-Bag: So Captain two-faced Cockle destroyed all the pearls did you? (She holds up the last pearl in her fingertips) What’s this then a pickled onion?
Captain Cockle: But bu bu…
T-Bag: You seriously didn’t expect me to believe that cock and bull story about grinding up all the pearls did you in the moonlight?
Captain Cockle: Uh uh you saw...
T-Bag: Oh I wasn’t born yesterday you know?
T-Shirt: You said it.
T-Bag: Oh you traitor, I should have known all along you two-faced person I kept one pearl back for a little insurance policy. Uh just as well I did eh? Now what’s to be done with the gleesome threesome? This for starters! (T-Bag’s spell ties up their hands).
T-Bag: Well, I've certainly learned something today, haven't I? Trust no-one. Not a soul! From now on it's going to be me, me on my own, all alone. I will share my glory with no-one. And as for you Sally Smug-Faced Simpkins, I have a special fate in store for you. You're going to wish you were never born! And who will come to your rescue? Him (pointing to Captain Cockle)? Him (pointing to T-Shirt)? Or this little precious pearl perhaps? (T-Bag holds the pearl in her palm over the compass) This precious, wonderful global of goodness. I doubt it, don't you?
(T-Shirt has managed to untie Sally, at this very moment Sally hits T-Bag’s hand upwards and the pearl soars freely into the air. The pearl reaches its zenith and then starts to fall, as it falls it lands back perfectly on the empty space of the compass).
The compass and the pearls spring to life and the heavenly magic rids the world of evil, a bright white beam of goodness envelopes T-Bag and she vanishes. Tabatha Bag is destroyed for the very first time.

Sally, Sally, Sally

Thomas: Sally, Sally, Sally. Sally, any chance of a hand with these things?
Sally: Hmm? What?
Thomas: Could you give me a hand?
Sally: Oh, sure.

Added: 04/04/2015