T. Bag And The Pearls Of Wisdom Episode 8: Cedric Sackbutt's Search For A Song

Sally arrives in Sherwood Forest where Sir Cedric is preparing for a song contest which Sally enters for the prize of the next pearl but she gets her bag stolen by Robyn Hood.
The High-T Website synopsis

Sally lands up in Sherwood Forest in her search for Pearl Number 8. Here she meets the bold Sir Cedric and the only female outlaw in England, Robyn Hood. T-Bag and T-Shirt arrive and join Robyn’s merry men, but things turn out to be not so merry…
TV Times listing

In the next episode Sally finds herself in Sherwood Forest. Who is the villain who is out to rob her? Can she win the song contest and get the next missing pearl? Or will T-Bag and T-Shirt hit the right note and pip her to the post? Find out in T. Bag and the Pearls of Wisdom.
Next week preview (from previous episode)

Today, Sally finds herself in Sherwood Forest. But who is the villain who is out to rob her? Can she win the song contest and get the next missing pearl? Find out now.
Stay tuned preview (from start of episode)

Merry England was the next stop on our quest but T-Bag was far from merry when, yep you’ve guessed it, Sally pipped us at the post and snatched the seventh Pearl of Wisdom from right under our noses. The situation was now desperate!
Pearls of Wisdom video - T-Shirt's summary

All something of an annual event this is, happens every year

Sally: You having a party?
Sir Cedric: Well not a party exactly, well a bit of a party I suppose, party-ish, it's all something of an annual event this is, happens every year.
Sally: What?
Sir Cedric: What?
Sally: What does?
Sir Cedric: What's does what?
Sally: Happens every year.
Sir Cedric: Certainly does, that's what makes it an annual event.
Sally: Can we start again, this annual event of yours.
Sir Cedric: Yes.
Sally: The one that happens every year.
Sir Cedric: Yes.
Sally: What is it?
Sir Cedric: Didn't I tell you, ha ha ha, oh yes I am such a dizzy donut sometimes, dear oh dear, yes well I presume you've come to put your name down for the contest, have you, jolly good.
Sally: What contest?
Sir Cedric: I just told you didn't I, ha ha ha ha ha, oh, sorry, sorry, the contest. You know the contest, Sir Cedric Sackbutt's search for a song, yes as a matter of fact you're our very first entrant, jolly good.
Sally: Oh I'm sorry but I just don't have the time to enter any contests.
Sir Cedric: All you have to do is make up a little song and sing it, and look the winner, the winner wins this. Ta da...
(Sir Cedric shows Sally the prize including the pearl.)
Sally: The Pearl!
Sir Cedric: Pretty nifty pickings, eh, oh go on, be a sport put your name down?
Sally: Alright you've twisted my arm.
Sir Cedric: Splendid, right now, what is your name by the way, ah yes, sorry?
Sally: Sally.
Sir Cedric: Sally Sorry.
Sally: Sally Simpkins.
Sir Cedric: Well Miss, whatever your name is, you'd best be off and pen yourself a ditty.
Sally: How long have I got?
Sir Cedric: The contest starts at four.
Sally: I better get cracking, see you later Sir Cedric.
Sir Cedric: What?
Sally: Bye.
Sir Cedric: Oh yes, bye Sorry, oh.

Added: 04/04/2012

A half-decent rhyme

Sally: A song, a song. The birds and the trees, the sweet summer breeze, no. The sky up above, the song of the dove, no. Flowers, flowers. Where the babbling brook flows, the sweet flower grows, the snowdrop, the bluebell, the pretty primrose, now what next? Daisy, Buttercup, Lilac and Thyme, all I need now is a half-decent rhyme. Oh what a load of old rubbish. (Sally notices her bag has gone) What? Where? My bag, the pearls, oh no.

Added: 04/04/2013

Your pathetic ideas

T-Bag: Fabulous, hear that T-Shirt, Robin Hood has nabbed the bag.
T-Shirt: I have an idea, I could go and join the Merry Men, get in with them and get the bag.
T-Bag: I don't need your pathetic ideas, I have pathetic ideas of my own, I mean brilliant, brilliant ideas of my own.
T-Shirt: Oh yeah, like what?
T-Bag: Well, we all know the legend of Robin Hood, he robbed the rich to give to the poor.
T-Shirt: So?
T-Bag: So! I shall pretend to be poverty stricken, down and out and he won't resist offloading the bag of pearls on to me, need I say anymore?
T-Shirt: It'll never work, my plan's a million times better.
T-Bag: We will see.
(T-Bag clicks her fingers and disappears)
T-Shirt: Yes, we will see.

Added: 04/04/2012

Half a groat

(T-Bag is dressed in old rags as a disguise to try and fool Robyn Hood).
T-Bag: Ohhhhhh, poor old me, poor old me, oh I'm poor alright. Nobody in the whole wide world is half as poor as what I am, ohhhh, poor did you say?
Robyn Hood: Oh, good morrow old hag.
T-Bag: Huuuurrrrghhhh. Ohhhhhh, poor old me. Do you know when I was a kid I could only afford to have one measle at a time.
Robyn Hood: Oh that's too bad.
T-Bag: Now if that lovely Robin Hood was here, he'd take pity on a poor old hobbledehoy.
Robyn Hood: Your luck's in good woman.
T-Bag: Hurrrrh, really, really, you mean he's here, he's here.
Robyn Hood: I am Robyn Hood.
T-Bag: What?
Robyn Hood: Robyn with a Y, not Robin with an I.
T-Bag: But you're a woman.
Robyn Hood: And you've touched my heart old biddy, you know I rob from the rich to give to the poor. And I'm going to give you something to send you on your way.
T-Bag: Ohhh, bless your brown suede leather boots Robyn Hood, making an old girl very happy.
Robyn Hood: Here we are.
T-Bag: What's that?
Robyn Hood: Half a groat. Go on, treat yourself to something that you've always wanted. And now if you'll excuse me there's always somebody rich who need's robbing, I bid you adieu.

Added: 04/04/2024

Can you..

Robyn Hood: What skills do you have?
T-Bag: Skills?
Robyn Hood: Can you split an arrow at a thousand paces?
T-Bag: Oh, Two thousand.
Robyn Hood: Can you fight off a dozen of the King’s men with a single sword?
T-Bag: Oh, three dozen, without a sword.
Robyn Hood: Can you scale the highest walls of the sheriffs castle, creep unseen past ten vicious guard dogs, break into the strongroom and steal all his money, fight your way past the soldiers, climb to the top of the tower, dive into the moat, swim across to your horse and race back across the deadly swamp to safety?
T-Bag: Why, can you?
Robyn Hood: No.
T-Bag: Neither can I.

A wanted outlaw

T-Bag: Halt. Stay where you are.
Robyn Hood: Oh, you two again.
T-Bag: We are soldiers of the Royal Guard and we have reason to believe that you are a wanted outlaw. So just hand over all the stuff you have nicked.
Robyn Hood: I'm not an outlaw, I was never an outlaw.
T-Shirt: Well if you're not an outlaw, then how come you're making off with the lute? Ha.
T-Bag: Shut up.
Robyn Hood: True, I did steal a little girl's bag once but I gave it back to her.
T-Bag: Whaaaat?
Robyn Hood: Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to meet my friend Sally and to win the song contest. So I bid you good day.
T-Bag & T-Shirt: Song contest?
T-Bag: What she up to now?
T-Shirt: Back to the T-Room.

Added: 04/04/2015

Minor details

T-Shirt: But why would she want to enter a song contest of all things?
T-Bag: That's what I'm trying to find out. Arrrrhh.
Sir Cedric (seen in T-Bag’s saucer): And of course the prize, these wonderful jewels.
T-Bag: Ha, hah, that's why.
T-Shirt: The pearl's part of the prize.
T-Bag: And we've got to make sure that we win it. Come on quick.
(T-Bag disappears).
T-Shirt: But we haven't got a song.
(T-Bag reappears).
T-Bag: Don't bother me with minor details.

Added: 04/04/2023