T. Bag And The Sunstones Of Montezuma Episode 3: Wilma Tell

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UK Air Date20/01/1992, 4.00pm
Repeat ScreeningN/A
Copyright YearMCMXCI (1991)
VTR Dateunknown
Fremantle Archive Ref53468
Consecutive Episode Number77
IMDB LinkEpisode page

T. Bag (Tabatha Bag)Georgina Hale
T. ShirtJohn Hasler
PennyEvelyn Sweeney
Wilma TellSelina Cadell
Hamburger GuzzlerJames Saxon

Make UpAngela Seyfang
Costumes ByRaymond Childe
Assisted ByMandy Harper
Costumes Made BySylvia Juren
Lighting DirectorPeter Bower
Video Tape EditorMark Sangster
Stage ManagerTeresa Joselyn
Production AssistantGill Thomas
DesignerIan Russell
ProducerCharles Warren
Directed ByGlyn Edwards
Written ByLee Pressman
Grant Cathro

The King, Hamburger Guzzler, has forbidden everybody else from having chocolate. He is offering a reward of the next sunstone for the capture of Wilma Tell who is trying to steal back all the chocolate.
The High-T Website synopsis

A Game of Chess

Wilma Tell

The Sword Fight Begins

Getting Heavily Into Fruit

For more images see the Image Galleries

If you would like to contribute your favourite/funniest etc quotes from this episode please contact me.


T-Bag: Oi, that was my last prawn, put it back.
T-Shirt: It's not a prawn, it's a pawn. Give it to me, and for your information that's a checkmate.
T-Bag: And for your information that's a slap-chum.
T-Shirt: You're a bad loser that's what you are.
T-Bag: I know, I know, talking of losers let's see what that pathetic pee-wee piffle-pants is up to.

Added: 04/04/2012

Watch My Lips

Penny: So where do I start looking for the next sunstone then, hmm? (Guzzler walks in) Urh.
Hamburger Guzzler: Urh. Is that all you have to say my dear, hmm. What's up? Pussy got your tongue. Prostrate yourself girl and salute the cap of your sheriff Hamburger Guzzler.
Penny: (Salutes) Um, hello. I'm Penny, Penny Hunt (holds out her hand).
Hamburger Guzzler: I couldn't give a tinkers belch who you are. I'm not here to hobnob with the peasants, ha! Now come on, get on with it, turn out your bag.
Penny: Aih?
Hamburger Guzzler: Hmm, first it's urh then it's aih, I mean, don't they teach you any words with more than one syllable at school these days?
Hamburger Guzzler: Watch my lips, turn out your bag.
Penny: Watch my lips. No!
Hamburger Guzzler: Give me the bag.
Penny: It's not fair, I need these sunstones, they're really important, you don't understand.
Hamburger Guzzler: Oh I'm not interested in your precious stones, got bucket loads of cash back at the castle.
Penny: Well what do you want then?
Hamburger Guzzler: I'm after your chocolate of course. A-ha-ha-ha-ha, I thought so (laughs). Oh the old hooter's never let me down yet. Precision instrument this, can sniff out a slab of fruit and nut at fifty paces, hah. You're coming home with Daddy. And you, you know the law of the land, if I so much as catch you with a single chocolate raisin in your grubby little mitt you'll spend the rest of your miserable days rotting in my deepest, dampest dungeon, get it? Come on baby, who's a sweetie-weetie then? (he kisses the chocolate).
Penny: He's nuts.

Updated: 04/04/2021

It's quick and it's simple and it's foolproof

T-Bag: Hear that?
T-Shirt: Course I heard it, I'm not deaf.
T-Bag: Yeah, just stupid. I've got an idea and it's quick and it's simple and it's foolproof unless you muck it up of course so pin back your lugholes and listen.

Added: 04/04/2015

A much better idea

Penny: So my job is to get all the nine sunstones before T-Bag can get her hands on them.
Wilma Tell: Well I've got some good news for you Penny. A stone exactly like this is being offered by Guzzler as a reward for my capture.
Penny: Great! Oh, I mean, not so great. You're not suggesting I hand you over and get the stone as my prize, are you? Cos I won't do it and there's no way...
Wilma Tell: No, no, no, no, no. I have a much better idea than that. For some time now I've been planning to raid Guzzler's castle and liberate all the chocolate from his strong room, I just need somebody to assist me.
Penny: You want me to help you get the chocolate?
Wilma Tell: Yes and while we're there we'll see if we can get your sunstone as well. How does that sound? Ooh.
Penny: Brilliant.
Wilma Tell: Penny, you are now an honorary member of the C.L.F.
Penny & Wilma Tell: C.L.F.

Added: 04/04/2018

No mistakes found yet, if you've found any please let me know.

For more mistakes from other episodes, please see the Nitpicker's Guide

  • Selina Cadell, who plays Wilma Tell, appeared in the long running Children's TV programme Bodger and Badger.
  • The name of the character Hamburger Guzzler, is a play-on-words for 'Hamburger Guzzler' (A guzzler of hamburgers).
  • The aliases, 'Paula Toothout' and 'Phil McCavity', used by T-Bag and T-Shirt when pretending to be dentists are play-on-words for 'Pull a tooth out' and 'Fill my cavity'.
  • The character of Wilma Tell is a parody of the fictional character William Tell.
  • James Saxon, who played Hamburger Guzzler, sadly passed away on 2nd July 2003, aged 49.
  • James Saxon appeared in Spatz which was also written by Lee Pressman and Grant Cathro. James Saxon appeared in the episode 'Takeover' (#2.13, 04/04/1991) as Roland Blimpy.
  • James Saxon appeared in Mike & Angelo which was also written by Lee Pressman and Grant Cathro. James Saxon appeared in the episode 'The Emperor's New Clothes' (#12.8, 22/02/2000) as Emperor of Ptarg.

  • James Saxon, who plays Hamburger Guzzler, appears in four episodes throughout the nine series of T-Bag, making him the most prolific guest actor alongside Matt Zimmerman and Jo Warne. This is his fourth of his four appearances.
    (T. Bag and The Revenge of the T. Set, Episode 2: When In Rome)
    (T. Bag and The Pearls of Wisdom, Episode 5: Mutiny!)
    (T. Bag's Christmas Ding-Dong)
  • During this episode Tabatha Bag uses one of her 'stock' phrases of 'I'll explain on the way', T-Bag and T-Shirt then disappear and reappear with T-Shirt knowing T-Bag's plan.
    (T. Bag and The Rings of Olympus, Episode 1: The Rings Of Olympus)
    (T. Bag and The Rings of Olympus, Episode 3: The Yukon)
    (T. Bag and The Sunstones of Montezuma, Episode 6: Ra Ra Rasputin)
    (Take off with T. Bag, Episode 6: Antony and Cleopatra)