T. Bag And The Sunstones Of Montezuma Episode 5: Hippies

Penny arrives on a beach and meets Ed Banger who is the exact double of T-Shirt. On a ship which is home to the radio station Radio Love is a DJ called Sonny Daze who has the next Sunstone until he gives it to Ed Banger. When T-Bag mistakes him for T-Shirt chaos ensues.<
The High-T Website synopsis

I should have got myself a budgie

T-Bag: What are you doing down there, you idiot?
T-Shirt: Listening to the radio.
T-Bag: Oh, can't you listen to it somewhere else?
T-Shirt: What, you mean like my bedroom.
T-Bag: I was thinking more like Africa, turn it off.
T-Shirt: No way.
T-Bag: Oh, you're becoming a right little degenerate you know, cheeky, lazy, you never do anything to help me. I mean, what's the point, I let you live here out of the goodness of my heart and all I get in return is a bucket load of grief, I mean is it too much to ask for a little bit of respect and civility just once in a while.
T-Shirt: Sorry, did you say something?
T-Bag: Oh I give up, I do, I do, I do, my mother was right I should have got myself a budgie.

Added: 04/04/2011

Always hang loose

Penny: What a lovely beach, great. Hello.
Ed Banger: Hi.
Penny: T-Shirt, you little rat. What are you doing here?
Ed Banger: Sheesh, what an uptight chick. All these bad vibes are doing my brain in man. Ed Banger can't handle all this crazy hassle.
Penny: Ed Banger?
Ed Banger: Yeah.
Penny: Did you say your name was Ed Banger?
Ed Banger: Sure did. Eh, you must recognize Ed Banger. Woodstock, Monterey, the Isle of Wight... I had my hot dog stand at all of those.
Penny: Erm Ed, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to upset...
Ed Banger: Eeeh, no sweat babe, just remember, mellow out and always hang loose.
Penny: Yeah, I'll certainly try to.
(Sonny walks in).
Sonny Daze: Eddie baby.
Ed Banger: Sonny, my main man.
Sonny Daze: Hey hey hey, hey you're looking beautiful man.
Ed Banger: You too buddy boy, hey.
Sonny Daze: Dig the flares, far out.
Penny: Excuse me.
Sonny Daze: Sorry baby but er, this cat's on his way to a gig.
Penny: Look, I only wanted to...
Sonny Daze: Yeah, cool it little lady, we're running late. Wh... you wait here like a good little girl and Eddie'll give you an autographed photo after the show.
Penny: You don't understand.
Ed Banger: Hey, don't forget what I said.
Penny: Yeah, yeah, yeah, mellow out, always hang loose.

Added: 04/04/2020

A One-Legged Horse

Ed Banger: Far out. Triple wow.
T-Bag: Oh, I'm sorry I was a bit hard on you earlier.
Ed Banger: This is really freaky.
T-Bag: I didn't know you were going to pull off a stunt like that.
Ed Banger: Hey babe, we're on a one way ticket to cosmic city here.
T-Bag: Oh, yes, yes T-Shirt. Now if you could just hand over the sunstone.
Ed Banger: Say, who are you? What's with that weird old gear? What's going on here?
T-Bag: Yoooooouuu, youuuuu just have to wind me up, don't you? You can't simply come back and just hand over the sunstone, oh no, you have to give me all this flash smart gobbledegook, just give me the stone.
Ed Banger: What stone?
T-Bag: Ohhhhh, is my hand itching to thump you mate.
Ed Banger: Hey, cool it babe.
T-Bag: If you don't hand it over I'm going to knock your teeth so far down your throat you'll have to sit on 'em to eat your breakfast, arrggghh.
Ed Banger: Here, take it, take it. Boy, this is turning out to be a real downer.
(Ed takes of a chain with bells on it).
T-Bag: T-Shirt you’re about as much use as a one-legged horse on derby, forget it, forget it, I’ll go and get the sunstone myself, you wait here and meditate on this!
(T-Bag hits Ed Banger).
Ed Banger: Oh.
(T-Bag uses her magic and disappears).
Ed Banger: There's a chick who's karma's not in a state of equilibrium.

Updated: 04/04/2015

Peace and love

Sonny Daze: You crazy lunatic. Look at what you've done?
T-Bag: Oh cheap rubbish, now about that little something.
Sonny Daze: Out, out, out!
T-Bag: Oh whatever happened to peace and love?
Sonny Daze: Shove love and take a piece of this! Have a nice swim back to the shore.
T-Bag: Oh Mr music man. Arrrggh.

Added: 04/04/2014

A nice refreshing cuppa tea

Ed Banger: Hey what do you reckon man? Thought I'd just customise the old pad, neat huh?
T-Bag: You! You!
Ed Banger: Hey you look real spaced out, here sit down, sit down. What you need is a nice refreshing cuppa tea. Here, drink this, be happy.
T-Bag: What are you trying to do? Poison me or what?
Ed Banger: Huh?
T-Bag: What is that muck?
Ed Banger: Rosehip and Petunia.
T-Bag: T-Shirt, if you haven't written your will, now's the time to get scribbling.
Ed Banger: Hey, what's with the T-Shirt man? The name's Banger.
T-Bag: Hmm, Banger.
Ed Banger: Ed Banger, hey.
T-Bag: Oh, so you mean you're not T-Shirt.
Ed Banger: Never was, never have been.
(T-Bag and Ed see T-Shirt in the saucer).
T-Bag: Hmmmmmm.
Ed Banger: Wow, what a gas.
T-Bag: What a gas? I'll give you gas. I'll give you enough gas to launch an airship. Hang on to your beads and bells baby. You are coming with me.

Added: 04/04/2014

A big superstar like what I am

T-Shirt: Watcha Madge.
T-Bag: Don't you madge me, mate!
T-Shirt: Hey, aren't you Ed Banger?
Ed Banger: Hey!
T-Shirt: Wow, I really dig what you're doing Ed. I'm one of your biggest fans. Some people even say I look like you.
Ed Banger: That's groovy kiddo.
T-Shirt: Marshmellow Monday's my favourite record.
Ed Banger: Right on man, you're beautiful.
T-Bag: I'm sorry to interrupt the loving but I'm in the tiniest bit of a hurry.
(T-Bag uses her magic to tie up and gag Ed Banger).
T-Shirt: Hey, you can't do that.
T-Bag: Oh can't I? I can and I have. Stop worrying, no-one's going to miss that little creep. Uh.
T-Shirt: Oh yeah and why's that?
T-Bag: Because you are going to replace him.
(T-Bag uses her magic to disguise T-Shirt in Ed's clothes).
T-Shirt: Oh what?
(Penny creeps out and begins to untie Ed Banger).
T-Bag: Ok, Eddie baby. Now this is the plan, you sing your little heart out and he gives you the stone and Bob Dylan's your uncle, get it.
T-Shirt: Got it.
T-Bag: Groovy. Let's split.
T-Shirt: Well hang about I'll need some equipment, guitar, an amplifier, you know.
T-Bag: Good point, good point.
(T-Bag uses her magic to make an amplifier and guitar appear).
T-Shirt: Oh hang about, what exactly am I supposed to sing.
T-Bag: Oh just make it up as you go along, any old mumbo-jumbo, he'll never notice the difference.
T-Shirt: I'm not sure about this, I'll never pull it off.
T-Bag: I'll pull it off in a minute and I'm not talking about the plan.
(Penny and Ed hide inside the large amplifier).
T-Shirt: Alright, get the gear and let's split.
T-Bag: What?
T-Shirt: Well you'll have to be my roadie won't you? A big superstar like what I am can't carry his own stuff.
T-Bag: Ohhhh. Oh, I'll kill him, Oh, I love him. I'll kill him, I'll kill him.

Added: 04/04/2024

Boogie!

Sonny Daze: You've changed your mind and decided to come back and give us another song, what a guy!
T-Shirt: Yeah man kick out the jams.
Sonny Daze: You, what are you doing here?
T-Shirt: Don't flip out, she's just me rodeo.
T-Bag: Right on let's bogey.
T-Shirt: Boogie.