T. Bag And The Revenge Of The T. Set Episode 8: La Boheme

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Episode 1The Stone Circle
Episode 2When In Rome
Episode 3Lost In Space
Episode 4Turkish Delight
Episode 5Hazel Knutt's Muesli Bar
Episode 6Rock Star Baby
Episode 7Anastasia
Episode 8La Boheme
Episode 9The Bard
Episode 10The Ceremony

UK Air Date21/02/1989, 4.20pm
Repeat Screening02/09/1991, 4.20pm
Copyright YearMCMLXXXVIII (1988)
VTR Date18/09/1988
Fremantle Archive Ref45057 (series ref)
Consecutive Episode Number49
IMDB LinkEpisode page

T. Bag (Tallulah Bag)Elizabeth Estensen
T. ShirtJohn Hasler
Sally SimpkinsKellie Bright
Vincent Van DriverPeter Ledbury
Monsieur ClaudeJohn Savident

Make UpCaroline Becker
CostumeRaymond Childe
Vandra Howarde
Graphic DesignerChris Connors
Stage ManagerBobby Webber
Production AssistantCaroline Vance
DesignerJohn Plant
Executive ProducerCharles Warren
Written ByLee Pressman
Grant Cathro
ProducerLeon Thau
DirectorLeon Thau

Vincent Van Driver, an artist, wants an art critic to see his paintings. The art critic has the next silver spoon so T-Shirt tricks him into thinking he has painted Vincent Van Driversí pictures. Meanwhile T-Bag thinks it is Friday the thirteenth so she is being extra careful.
The High-T Website synopsis
This week's episode takes us over to Paris, where Sally meets Monsieur Claude, an art critic and buyer of paintings, and Vincent Van Driver, a penniless artist. She becomes friendly with Vincent and tells him her story of her quest for the Silver Spoons. Meanwhile, T-Bag discovers that Monsieur Claude has a silver spoon, so she sends down T-Shirt disguised as an onion seller to get it.
Lookin listing

If you would like to contribute your favourite/funniest etc quotes from this episode please contact me.

An ingenious plan

T-Bag: Iíve come up with an ingenious plan for you to get that spoon, listen carefully Iím only going to say this once. You pretend to be selling onions, right?
T-Shirt: Right.
T-Bag: You go up to that fool and demonstrate your wares you cut an onion in half, right?
T-Shirt: Right.
T-Bag: The onion makes him cry, his eyes fill with tears, right?
T-Shirt: Right.
T-Bag: And while his eyes are filled with tears you clobber him with this loaf, grab the spoon and hop it, right?
T-Shirt: Thatís stupid, what a pathetic plan.
T-Bag: Right.
T-Shirt: Right.

Objet d'art

T-Shirt: I know how to give her majesty a good laugh. Ok Simpo, let's see what you look like with a beard and moustache (laughs).
Claude: Bon Soir, bon soir, sorry I'm a little late. Oh, I understood this to be the studio of one Vincent Van Driver.
T-Shirt: Yes.
Claude: Well where is he?
T-Shirt: He's gone out.
Claude: Gone out! He drags me halfway across Paris then he goes out.
T-Shirt: Well I'm here.
Claude: Who are you?
T-Shirt: I'm his pupil, Toulouse La Shirt.
Claude: Toulouse La... This is Van Driver's work but it is rubbish, rubbish, rubbish.
T-Shirt: No you don't understand.
Claude: How dare you tell me I do not understand. I understand everything about art. I know what I like and what I don't like and I don't like that but... this I do like. This is superb, magnifique, and you say you're his pupil.
T-Shirt: Eh?
Claude: You're a genius. This is great art.
T-Shirt: True.
Claude: I must have it, name your price.
T-Shirt: Oh, I'm not interested in money. Money is filthy vulgar stuff, don't you agree?
Claude: Urrrrrhh, yeah, yes, absolutement, you're quite right, common.
T-Shirt: I never touch it. A sensitive soul such the likes of what I am tries to surround himself with only beautiful things.
Claude: Objet d'art.
T-Shirt: Pardon.
Claude: Beautiful things.
T-Shirt: Exactly, antiques, that kind of clobber. If you were to offer me something small and silver I wouldn't turn my nose up at that.
Claude: Hah, ha, ha, just so happens I have something small and silver in my pocket.
T-Shirt: I thought you might.
Claude: Hee hee, ha, ha.
T-Shirt: Oh.
Claude: Anything that is mine is yours. Come with me Toulouse La Shirt and I will make you the toast of Paris.

Added: 04/04/2016

Looking For A Model

T-Shirt: Hello.
Vincent Van Driver: Oh hello. I was just admiring your work. You know it's true what Monsieur Claude says, this is the style of tomorrow, no question.
T-Shirt: Yeah, well forget them, I'd like to buy one of your paintings Vincent.
Vincent Van Driver: Oh that's very kind of you but I have decided to burn all my paintings.
T-Shirt: No.
Vincent Van Driver: Yes, at least they will be good for something, keeping me warm in the winter.
T-Shirt: But I need all your portraits.
Vincent Van Driver: Oh I never do portraits. In fact the one of the little girl is the only one I ever finished.
T-Shirt: But that one's already so... so, so lovely, that I'd like another one.
Vincent Van Driver: Eh?
T-Shirt: Come on Vinnie, pick up your brush, get stuck in.
Vincent Van Driver: Oh.
T-Shirt: I want another portrait.
Vincent Van Driver: Oh but where am I going to find another beautiful model at this time of night?
(T-Bag appears).
T-Bag: T-Shirt.
Vincent Van Driver: Arrgghhh!
T-Shirt: Your Majesty.
T-Bag: Come here you little imbecile.
T-Shirt: Just the person we need.
T-Bag: Don't give me that flannel genius Jim, come here.
T-Shirt: No listen your Majesty, you've got to help.
(T-Bag and T-Shirt have a whispered conversation).
T-Bag: Well, Mr Van Driver or whatever your name is, my young friend here tells me you are looking for a model.
Vincent Van Driver: Well yes.
T-Bag: Someone beautiful and lovely.
Vincent Van Driver: Oui, do you know anyone like that?
T-Bag: Me!
Vincent Van Driver: Oh yes. Well I suppose you will do.
T-Bag: Well let's get cracking. I'll just slip into something more spectacular (T-Bag uses her magic to change into a beautiful pink dress). There. Well don't just stand there, get daubing.

Updated: 04/04/2015

Looks Like A Pizza

Claude: Working on another masterpiece?
Vincent Van Driver: Well I...
Claude: Ha ha ha a la come on now donít be modest show me (shows picture) yeuggghhh!
T-Bag: Whatís that supposed to be?
Sally: Vincent?
T-Bag: Looks like a pizza.
Claude: What is going on here?

"An Eiffel Eye-Full"
The scenery view from Vincent's apartment shows us looking down at The Eiffel Tower, and as Grant puts it 'Exactly how many floors were there in Vincentís apartment block?'

For more mistakes from other episodes, please see the Nitpicker's Guide

  • The title of this episode is taken from the name of Puccini's 1896 opera 'La Boheme' which is set in Paris.
  • The name of the character Vincent Van Driver, is a play-on-words for 'Vincent Van Driver' (A van driver called Vincent).
  • Vincent Van Driver gives his address as Ďmy studio is on the Rue de noiseí, a play on words of Ďrude noiseí.
  • T-Shirt introduces himself as Vincent's pupil, Toulouse La Shirt, a play on words of 'To Lose La Shirt'
  • The pseudonym of Toulouse La Shirt is a reference to the French artist Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec.
  • Kellie Bright, who played Sally Simpkins, mentioned on the Reunion DVD that she kept the painting of Sally Simpkins from this episode.
  • John Savident appeared in Mike & Angelo which was also written by Lee Pressman and Grant Cathro. John Savident appeared in the episodes 'Robot Rita' (#5.2, 14/01/1993), 'Fly On The Wall' (#5.7, 18/02/1993) and 'Model Child' (#6.4, 15/03/1994) as Howard Fogle.
  • Vincent Van Driver tells T-Shirt he is going to burn all his paintings to keep him warm in the winter, a reference to the Spanish painter Pablo Picasso who burnt his paintings during his early career whilst in Paris.

  • John Savident, who plays Monsieur Claude, appears in two episodes throughout the nine series of T-Bag. This is his first of his two appearances.
    (Take off with T. Bag, Episode 4: Curse Of The Mummy)
  • T-Shirt uses his pseudonym of Toulouse La Shirt again in an episode of T. Bag and The Sunstones of Montezuma.
    (T. Bag and The Sunstones of Montezuma, Episode 8: Napoleon and Josephine)
  • This episode features a portrait of one of the main characters; in this episode Vincent Van Driver paints a portrait of Sally. Other episodes featured a portrait of one of the main characters.
    (T. Bag and The Rings of Olympus, Episode 8: Leonardo)
  • T-Bag poses so her portrait can be painted, by Vincent Van Driver, during this episode, this would also happen in other episodes.
    (Wonders in Letterland, Episode 5: Debbie In The Land Of P)
    (T. Bag and The Rings of Olympus, Episode 8: Leonardo)
  • During this episode superstitions are mentioned, in this episode it is T-Bag feeling unlucky because it is Friday the 13th therefore T-Bag spills some salt, throws it over her shoulders and breaks the mirror. T-Bag uses a lucky four-leaf clover and a horseshoe to try to stop her bad luck. Superstitions are also referred to in other series.
    (T. Bag and The Pearls of Wisdom, Episode 5: Mutiny!)
  • Vincent's painter's smock is worn by T-Shirt during T. Bag and The Rings of Olympus when painting T-Bag's picture.
    (T. Bag and The Rings of Olympus, Episode 8: Leonardo)
  • T-Bag is referred to as 'Bin Bag' in this episode, this happens numerous times throughout the series, in this episode it is T-Shirt who says 'Old Bin-Bag's not going to like this one little bit'.
    (T-Bag Bounces Back, Episode 10: Happy Ending)
    (Turn on to T-Bag, Episode 8: The African Queen)
    (Turn on to T-Bag, Episode 9: Doc Leaf)
    (Turn on to T-Bag, Episode 10: Turn On To T-Bag)
    (T. Bag and The Revenge of the T. Set, Episode 9: The Bard)
    (T. Bag and The Pearls of Wisdom, Episode 9: Play It Again, Sal)
    (T. Bag and The Pearls of Wisdom, Episode 10: The Pearls Of Wisdom)
    (T. Bag and The Rings of Olympus, Episode 10: Return To Olympus)
    (T. Bag and The Sunstones of Montezuma, Episode 6: Ra Ra Rasputin)
    (T. Bag and The Sunstones of Montezuma, Episode 7: One Million Years B.C.)